Stupid Jesus Freaks

As part of the Health Care Reform Act, President Obama mandated that women will have access to contraception with no co-pay. This has offended Christians (particularly the Catholics), who consider this as meddling in the fundamental tenets of their faith. Catholics, as is well known and lamented by thinking people everywhere, oppose any form of contraception including condoms in AIDS ravaged Africa. They contend that institutions affiliated with the Catholic church should not be forced to provide contraception through employer based health insurance because they are opposed to it; that forcing them to do so violates their 1st Amendment right to freedom of religion. This is not only bullshit, it’s stupid bullshit.

First, no one is forcing Catholics to use birth control, despite the fact that a vast majority of Catholic women use it anyway. The hypocrisy in preaching for others what Catholics themselves will not practice is appalling but, and of course, what can one expect from Catholics? One does not simply abandon two thousand years of utterly two-faced hypocrisy overnight.

They also argue that they should not be forced by law to pay for it when, as a matter of faith, they oppose the use of contraception. This is another bullshit argument. Health insurance is a job benefit, the same as wages, vacation time and sick days. As such, it belongs to the employee, not the employer. The Catholic church has no right whatsoever to tell their employees where or how to spend their days off. Imagine if they stopped providing health insurance entirely but commensurately increased the wages of their employees to compensate for that lost benefit. Would they then be entitled to say, “You can now purchase your own insurance but you may not buy a policy that covers contraception”?
Of course not…but that is exactly the position they take: “We pay for it, and you cannot make us pay for something we consider immoral!”
No, they don’t pay for it. The employees pay for it, the same damn way they pay for their Social Security and unemployment benefits. These fatuous cretins might as well claim that since the salaries come out of their coffers, they have the right to say how that money shall be spent. It takes a certain sort of delusional mindset that can only be supported by the certain knowledge that one is doing god’s own work to believe such convoluted horseshit.

They argue that the government has no right to inflict their morality on the Catholic faithful by forcing them to offer contraception in health coverage packages. The irony is apparently lost on them that the 1st Amendment stands for the proposition that they have no right to inflict their religious restrictions on people who do not share their deluded convictions.
Much like the druggist who refuses to provide the morning after pill on religious grounds, this is an offensively backward position. No pharmacist has any right whatsoever to deny legally available medicine to any customer. If doing one’s job comes into conflict with one’s faith, go get another job. Inflicting one’s own bible-based notions of morality on rational people seeking necessary health care services ought to result in the loss of the druggist’s license to practice his trade. Consider the Jehovah’s Witness: is he permitted to deny blood transfusions to anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves employed in his Watch Tower bookstore?

The logical contradictions go deeper. Catholics oppose abortion – the more fervent of them so even in cases of rape and incest – and yet they are opposed to preventing pregnancy by any means except abstinence (a strategy that has been demonstrated to be a complete and utter failure).

Permitting faith-based organizations to determine, at their theocratic whim, what form of medical services may be accessed by their employees gives every god-walloping employer the unfettered right to meddle in the most intimate aspects of the lives of people who may not share their beliefs. And yet they whine about the government “inflicting” upon them secular laws. Jesus Humped Up Christ, how does one avoid taking their lord’s name in vain as a starting point?

President Obama, in a move to mitigate the wailing and gnashing of teeth of this twisted gang of theocratic crackpots, altered the plan. Religious institutions will not now be required to provide health insurance that includes contraception, but in such cases the insurance companies will be required to reach out and offer contraceptive coverage directly to the employee at no additional cost.
The insurance companies are only too happy to do this. Preventing pregnancies is far less expensive than paying for an abortion; far, far less expensive than paying for pregnancy and delivery, and orders of magnitude cheaper than having a minor dependent covered under Mommy’s policy.
This, of course, did not mollify the papists, which very much reveals their true intentions and agenda.
It is not enough that they are no longer required to “contravene their faith” by providing the same sort of health care everyone (including Catholics!) commonly receives – they don’t want anyone, anywhere using contraception. Period. It is not enough that Catholics may not have an abortion, they don’t want anyone, anywhere to terminate any pregnancy for any reason. Plainly, they are not about following their faith, they are about inflicting their faith on everyone else, everywhere. The 1st Amendment is a one-way street for those in thrall to Rome.

But the politics of it – the never-ending Republican war on women; their twisted desire to make government small enough to fit in your vagina, while outrageous and certainly related, is a bit off topic. This post is about the Jesus freaks. These deluded assbuckets are not content to privately or quietly kneel before their mythical creator. They will not be content until they can make everyone else kneel, and to that I say, “Get fucked.”
If anyone believes the horrid, crushing ratbag of insane, morally repulsive gibberish that constitutes Catholicism, they are absolutely welcome to it. At the moment, the very instant, they demand that anyone else conduct any element of their life in accordance with that hogwash, they shall find themselves not merely opposed but crushed.
There is a legal maxim that says one’s right to swing one’s arms about ends at the tip of my nose…and so it is with belief and conduct within the secular law: your right to pray ends when you order me to kneel, and your right to eschew birth control goddamn well ends when you tell me I must also abide by the restrictions you set for yourself.

The GOP, for its part, is only too happy to ramp up their fear-based gin mill by calling this an attack on religious faith. President Obama seeks to ensure that all women have access to contraception – the single best way to prevent abortion! – and the Republicans accuse him of undermining the free practice of religion. And it bears repeating that this is an ugly and hateful lie. No one is being forced to USE birth control. They are being prevented from inflicting their faith practices on those who do not wish to participate. And this is a common refrain from the bible thumpers. Tell them they cannot force a high school assembly to participate in Christian prayer and they scream bloody murder: “How dare you tell us we cannot pray?”
Pray all you want. Pray night and fucking day. Pray in public and pray loudly so everyone can witness your great piety. Tebow on your lunch break. No one is stopping you from praying, but we are saying you have no damn right to inflict your grovelling sky wizard entreaties on the rest of us; you have no right to make us listen, much less make us join in. You are free to waste your time. You are not free to waste mine.
For people who are ruled by fear – fear of god, fear of hell…perhaps most honestly fear of being revealed as the horrid hypocrites they truly are…this “attack” on their faith plays powerfully. And so it is trumpeted from the political podium by such notable followers of Christ as serial adulterer Newt Gingrich, anti-abortionist Rick Santorum who approved a late-term abortion for his wife, and uber-hypocrite Mitt Romney who was pro-choice until the time came to kiss the backside of the evangelicals in his craven grasp for the nomination. And so, despite the separation of church and state, the overlap of religion and politics continues to simmer deep in the putrescent heart of America, salted and stoked by a cadre of sick and vicious bastards: Palin, Bachmann, Dobson, Robertson, Warren…people who know what god wants and are well prepared to force everyone else to comply with their visions.

Where an institution that sanctioned and enabled centuries of child rape finds the nerve to argue any fucking thing from a moral position is beyond me, but there it is. The political and social fabric of the most powerful nation on earth is infected with unthinking hordes of Jesus freaks who take their marching orders from aging virgins and pedophiles in dresses; people who are only too happy to make their silly, edited, rewritten, redacted, poorly translated, inerrant word of god fiction the basis for what everyone else may or may not do.

They must be stopped.



I Googled, “What percentage of Americans reject evolution?”

From the top:

22 Oct 2005 – (CBS) Most Americans do not accept the theory of evolution. Instead, 51 percent of Americans say God created humans in their present form…

10 Aug 2006 – A third of U.S. adults believe evolution is “absolutely false…”

I could go on. It’s depressing.

And I’m not sure what’s worse – that some people actually believe godunnit or the cynical and craven exploitation of those buffoons in the political process.

Comes THIS particular buffoon:

Rep. Steve Pearce (R-N.M.) spoke this week to the Western Republican Conference in Nevada, and argued that environmentalists are crazy. This was his pitch:

“We got kooks running Washington, basically. Kooks are in charge of our government. You all can recognize a kook, but the media seems to not understand. Around two years ago, some guy in New Mexico claimed he was the messiah. And the press couldn’t figure it out. I’m sorry, but the answer to that is real simple. You take them five miles off the coast and let ‘em out. If he walks home, you think about it. If he sinks to the bottom, then he probably wasn’t the messiah. But we’ve got people like that in Washington running our agencies.

“People are declaring that we descended from apes. Now, I know that’s not true. The argument that we descended from sheep is still an open question. But the ape idea is completely out of line.”

If he walks home, you think about it.

Look, I want to be perfectly clear…if the motherfucker WALKS ON WATER, I’ll do more than THINK about it.
In a less charitable light, let’s drown anyone claims to be Jesus. Not to get off the rails here but how about we drown anyone who claims to know what god wants?

I’m so sick of this “I din’t come from no ape” ignorance. No, you uneducated, redneck, backwater fucktard…apes and we share a common ancestor.
“Wha’l then why’s thar still apes?”
Fucking imbecile.
How is anyone supposed to govern with people who’s entire world view is poisoned, literally retarded (as in held back, obstructed, slowed, impeded)?

What would be your opinion of any candidate who said something like, “Well, you know, the Theory of Gravity is only a theory”?

Ever heard of Edwin Hubble?
Whenever someone starts in with godunnit, I wish there was a Hubble tree, so I could break off a branch and beat them to death with it.
And a Darwin tree which, of course, would lend itself rather elegantly to the fashioning of Punji sticks.

People are free to believe whatever ridiculous crap they want. You feel better knowing in your heart of hearts that Elvis is alive? That Tom Cruise isn’t gay? That 9/11 was an inside job? That Shane didn’t die? Fill your boots…but you’re disqualified from holding public office. You’re an idiot.

Same goes for evolution deniers and, the time has come to be fucking well clear about it, all the godunnits.
No one can today be elected in America without publicly avowing faith in the magical sky wizard and it’s simply time this foolish bullshit stopped. And not merely stopped – utterly inverted. Anyone who attributes cause to ANY god; who points to an unanswered question and asserts with conviction GOD, disqualifies herself from having anything whatsoever to say about public policy.

The willful ignorance of science is one thing. The gullibility and shallow, needy character required to grasp at magic and myth is another. The craven and ugly opportunities this utter lack of anything remotely orbiting reason provides…

You reject evolution. No one can reasonably expect you to have anything like a decent idea about how to go about anything serious.

Evangelical Apologist

Dr. Timothy Stanley, in the immediate aftermath of the Rapture that wasn’t, penned a defense of evangelism for the Telegraph. Here’s a clip:

Across the United States, atheists are gathering at Rapture parties to celebrate another day of life on this corrupted Earth. Their joy as Camping’s error is plain mean. While they knock back cheap imported beer and make-out in hot-tubs, thousands of evangelicals will be providing care and love to prisoners, homeless people, drug addicts and the poor. It is a noble calling worthy of a little tolerance.

Arrogant blithering nonsense in direct contradiction of utterly vast amounts of empirical data and with complete disregard for the disproportionately long list of harms wrought by evangelicals in their unwarranted and arrogant certainty that they alone know the will of the creator, a mythological wizard for which there is absolutely no evidence.

That these people, in the hope of reward and in fear of punishment, go and do good acts in no way absolves them of the vicious and contemptible damages they inflict.

The groveling, one-sided and sycophantic nature of the article leads one to wonder which sectarian pimp masquerading as an educator sat on Dr. Timothy Stanley’s thesis defense panel.

Such naked religious fawning passed off as journalism, or even cogent opinion, ought to embarrass the publisher. One supposes the author incapable.

To further bask in the unfettered arrogance and unmitigated banality of this insipid little toady, you may visit his website. Consider this fair warning:

I divide my time between London and Los Angeles, with the occasional weekend in Washington DC. Like everyone of my generation, I’m a bit obsessed with Sarah Palin. I define my politics as Anarcho-Catholic – an eclectic kind of pacifistic, red meat eating, gun loving, tax hating, Buddha hugging voodoo.

Some people you just want to slap.

Post Rapture Come Down

Pfft. What a gyp.
Got up this morning, ran downstairs to see what Jesus had left for me under the Rapture Tree. Nothing.
Went outside. Thought Jesus had brought me socks and underwear but scattered them all over the neighborhood. Turns out that wasn’t the case…wasn’t even evidence of the hoped for missing Christians. Neighbor’s clothesline broke.
I waited all day for the massive earthquake. With each passing hour, I became more and more frustrated. Around dinner time, I began mocking believers. “Take your pick, Jesus boy! No god, or YOU’RE no good!”
Turns out mocking believers is fun, and the more one drinks the more fun it is.
I’ve decided to have another rapture next week. Might even make it a regular thing.

The World Will End Tomorrow

What would you do if you only had one day to live?
The classic cliche question for that moment when you’ve all had three too many drinks.

Shit. I’m not even packed. Of course, I guess I can forget about the laundry…and there’s no hurry now to eat those leftovers in the fridge. Hah! Look at this: The power bill. This rapture thing is full of win!

So, with 24 hours or so ticking down to the end time now upon us, what shall I do?
I did promise to teach a class tonight, so I might as well do that. I’ll use the cash for a bottle of rum. Eh? Make that two bottles of rum. Don’t want to run out just when the fun really gets underway.

I wonder what those religious buffoons will have to say for themselves when the sun rises on Sunday.
I wonder what I’ll have to say if it doesn’t.

Bertrand Russell was once asked what he would say should he meet his maker:
“Not enough evidence, m’lord.”
That works for me.

Two Days Til Rapture

Fucking typos. I thought it said, “Two days til RAPTOR.”
I was busy changing all my door handles to door knobs and reinforcing the windows to make them talon proof when I found out.
RAPTURE. What a bunch of twaddle.
But then I saw this:

Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber Top Forbes List of Powerful Celebrities.

The end is here.

Stupid Texans

As if giving the world George W. Bush weren’t proof enough that dangerously stupid things come from Texas, there’s another skirmish shaping up on the Evolution versus “God Done It” front.
It’s one thing to be so stubbornly ignorant and willfully blind to deny the fact of evolution, but the cretins in the Lone Star state insist on confusing evolution with abiogenesis.
Evolution is the process of mutation and natural selection that explains speciation – the diversity of life on this planet. Abiogenesis is the mechanism by which life formed in the first place.
The imbecilic boneheads down in Sam Houston country insist that ‘Life couldn’t just come from nuthin’ so god musta dunnit.’
Of course, no one argues that life came from nothing, but the problem is that where life came from – how those first replicating molecules formed – has nothing whatsoever to do with evolution which is a demonstrable fact and supported by more than enough evidence to send someone to death row in that very same state.
It doesn’t phase them even a little bit that scientists have managed to create DNA and RNA in the lab, they still engage in the infinite recursion of, “Well, what caused THAT?” And it will not matter when science provides excellent evidence answering their question…they’ll just repeat the question. The prime mover, the first cause, whatever it was, MUST be god…and not just any god – no muskrat putting earth on the back of the turtle for these insistently stupid assholes. No sir. It was Jesus. They know it, and they want it taught in the science classroom.
Brainless fuckwits.