Post-Katrina NOLA

New Orleans has sunk.  The city is, for all intents, simply gone.  Disaster on such a massive scale is truly a shocking and awesome thing.  But for those that choose to move beyond the Shock and Awe (ah, now there’s a pair of abstract nouns with stamina!) there are some very instructive facets to this Post-9/11, Post-Katrina post mortem.

For one thing, Paul Prudhomme’s blackened red fish is now a recognized health hazard…different only in that now it’s recognized.  The vicious chemicals that have been flushing into that particular bit of the Mississippi Delta for the past few decades have long been elevating the heavy metals in the seafood chain.  Of course, with that idiot monkey Bush running things, the valid, peer-reviewed scientific research demonstrating same has been ripped to shreds, “de-funded” and buried under a pile of spurious, right-wing funded studies that question the link between toxic heavy metals in snapper and dramatic decreases in the health of the people who eat them.

The Dutch…the DUTCH!…are sending experts in seawall construction and management to help pump out the city and tell the Americans how to properly protect themselves from the ocean they’ve been living next to for a few hundred years.  The Dutch ought to know, they’ve been protecting their whole country for…well, forever.  But here is another of those facets:  It’s not like no one knew New Orleans was at risk; that the engineering expertise was unavailable domestically, or that no one had ever calculated the cost/benefit ratio of preventing the flood versus rebuilding an entire city.  The excuse, “Would have done it sooner but we just didn’t have any Dutch seawall engineers handy,” really doesn’t cut it.  The Republican congress, at the behest of Bush’s cadre of brilliant economic strategists, been slashing funding for New Orlean’s flood control for years. 

While George did stand up and say the pathetic response was his fault, that smarmy little marmoset can’t even do that without invoking September 11.  
“In post-9/11 America…” people have a right to expect a better response. 

Jesus on skis!  The brain-crippled chimpanzee has been leaning on that crutch so long I bet he works the phrase into an order for pizza!  Forget the presumption that, in the PRE-9/11 world, this massive failure to render aid to his own citizens would have somehow been less reprehensible.  
One can almost hear that drooling, razor-taloned imp Karl Rove hissing, “Sssssay 9/11…ssssaaaayyyy 9/11!”

Okay, that imbecilic simian Bush (and it keeps coming back to that baboon one way or another) took responsibility for the poor response.  What about the poor preparation?  After drenching the city in gasoline and lighting the cigarette, George now wants to ensure that no one else ever dies in a horrible gasoline fight accident.
Cheeta conceded “the system, at every level of government, was not well coordinated and was overwhelmed in the first few days.” 
Yeah…we definitely didn’t see much in the way of a response from the municipal employees, seeing as all their equipment and personel were under water.  The state government, having no roads in or out of the city, presumably ought to have mobilized their fleets of helicopters and hovercraft. 
Way to “take responsibilty”, Georgie boy.

But watch carefully, kids…Presto-chango!…another opportunity to further the agenda that created this mess by ignoring the proper priorities of Good Government and embarking on some misguided, Jesus-inspired, global war on truth.
George, always strong in times of crises (especially the ones which he creates!) continued:
“It is now clear that a challenge on this scale requires greater federal authority and a broader role for the armed forces.”

The president called on U.S. cities to have “clear and up-to-date plans for responding to natural disasters, disease outbreaks or terrorist attacks; for evacuating large numbers of people in an emergency and for providing the food, water and security they would need.”

So, apparently The Patriot Act doesn’t provide broad enough federal authority to deal with this kind of emergency. 
Crammed through without sane or sober review, this law empowers the Feds to do pretty much anything (including tap your phone without warrant and detain you without charge or access to counsel for as long as they damn well please).  Nope…not gonna cut it.  They need still greater federal authority. 

This seems to make sense, seeing as Bush owned up to it being the Fed’s fault.
Sort of, “It was our fault you didn’t give us enough authority to properly respond.” 
You may expect Bush to attend to that gaping hole in his authority immediately. 
While he’s doing that, however, all you cities get your asses prepared for emergency response, evacuation, food, shelter… 
Wait a sec. 
What was all that expanded Federal Authority for? 
Don’t ask questions.  Shup up.  Be patriotic, you lousy commie bastard.  Support the President.  Support the troops!  Our monkey, right or wrong!

“I consider detailed emergency planning to be a national security priority,” Bush said.

Pardon me?  Wait a sec…did he just say what I think he said? 
Four years after the WTC.  FOUR YEARS.  Four. 
Hmmm…d’ya think maybe we ought to have a plan…you know, in case something happens?

I have a better question:  Why is THIS man in charge? 
How, in the name of all that is holy, unholy or otherwise, could America have let him keep the job he stole?  He’s not merely disconnected from reality and horribly convinced that his illusions are real (which would be tolerable – after all, we lived through LBJ, Nixon, Carter and Reagan, none of whom were particularly bright or insightful) but Curious George is fundamentally incompetent.  This moron couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written upside down on the heel.

Small poor countries the world over must be trembling in their…whatever they wear on their feet.  Everytime George gets serious about doing something right he bombs someone.
Bombed the snot out of Afghanistan for no good reason except…well, ya gotta bomb somebody. 
Invaded Iraq under false pretenses and created a vicous, sucking, bloody ugly quagmire.

(Stop calling it a quagmire!  That was Vietnam, and this is not like Vietnam.  See…in Vietnam, when we eventually ran away, it was the Commies that took over.  In Iraq it’ll be Sunni’s, or Shite’s…defnitely Muslims, but NOT Commies.  See the difference?)
If I were Iran, I’d double my shipments of whatever they sent to New Orleans and make good and goddamn sure the CNN cameras were on hand for delivery.  Hell, if I were freakin’ Tuvalu, I’d send a couple of outrigger canoes loaded with coconuts. 
Better safe than sorry.

The entire Bush II presidency is such an ungodly morass of wasted money, trashed global political currency, spurned goodwill, lost opportunity, intense UV sunshine, toxic lollipops and faded rainbows, there’s no other conclusion except that Bush is NOT well-intentioned, but rather malicious in addition to being stupid. 

Whatever karmic boils and plague await Dubya, in the end New Orleans…the birthplace of jazz, and the destination of the Acadians booted out of Nova Scotia who decided to live in the swamp and survive on jumbalaya and blackened red fish…a very special city on a continent of metropolitan clones, is no more. 
And all for a little bit of money.  Dontcha know there’s more important things than money? 
I’ll make ya some eggs, Margie.

Now all you Cajuns still treading water fuck off.  I’m busy.


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