Ted Cruz Is NOT Canadian!

I approach this news from a purely utilitarian perspective.
Ted, along with 33 million Canadians, are VERY happy that he is no longer Canadian…and I presume there are some inbred, redneck, tea party idiots in Texas who are grinning through their drool about it.
No doubt more than a few sane Americans are gobbling down handfuls of Advil this morning, but their disappointment cannot possibly outweigh the joy in Canada. This is like attending a Vancouver-Montreal Stanley Cup Final Game Seven at which there is free beer, free poutine, and between periods everyone gets to naked body surf behind the Zamboni.

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2 Responses

  1. (Note: This is my 2nd attempt at posting this comment here. The first attempt, which was far better, dissolved into cyber space)

    It pains me very much to say this Cousinavi, but you’re wrong. (law of averages, I guess) There are NOT 33 million Canadians who are glad Cruz is no longer tarnishing this county’s good name. I’m sure at least 5 million are proud to be associated with this Cruz imbecile.

    Since you scurried like an alcoholic rat off the HMS Canuckistan in order to spend your few remaining days on the beaches of a tropical paradise where even the likes of you can get blow-jobs from smoking hot Asian girls, Canada has hit an iceberg and drifted FAR to the right.

    As a matter of fact, the nation is currently being run (into the ground) by somebody who is a kindred spirit of Cruz, Steven Herpes. Very quietly, he and his little bumboy Peter MacKay have completely changed this country. http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/f-35-photo-op-47k-minister-in-pilot-s-seat-priceless-1.1182431

    Militarism, gun “rights”, oil-worshipping, Israel worshipping and most of the Republican agenda is now taken seriously by most Canadians. And the tone & tactics the Conservatives use is closer to Willie Horton than the infamous Jean Chretien ad (Would you elect this mangled face?). Worse yet, it’s working!

    Sure, these policies don’t yet have majority support. But their popularity has grown considerably. Besides, in Canada’s fucked up 1st Past The Post electoral system, who needs majority support to get 100% of the power?

    On the positive side, at least one of these stupid motherfuckers can no longer vote in Canadian elections.

  2. “…scurried like an alcoholic rat off the HMS Canuckistan in order to spend your few remaining days on the beaches of a tropical paradise…”

    this is getting better than don rickles and dean martin

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