Bullet Proof Blankets – Because DON’T TOUCH MY FUCKING GUNS!

From Buzzfeed: An Oklahoma company has designed a bullet-resistant blanket that’s designed to protect children and teachers in the event of a school shooting.

bullet blankets

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“Yeah, I’m Tony…from the bullet proof blanket company Protek UR Tot. This sure is a nice school you got here. Be a real shame if someone was to, you know, shoot the place up or somethin’. You know how easy it is to get a gun these days? Piece of cake. I got one right here…look. I got three more in the car. All perfectly legal – can youse believe it? Anyways, what you got here?…400 kids? So, how’s about I put you down for that?”

This is a very good idea. It prevents the kids from running and hiding and having to find them. This way, they’ll be lined up on the floor, camouflaged under bright orange blankets.
It’s like playing Whack-A-Mole.

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3 Responses

  1. This way, they’ll be lined up on the floor, camouflaged under bright orange blankets.
    It’s like playing Whack-A-Mole.

    *shakes my head*
    I’m an Air Force brat, raised with guns, and I think the gun culture in this country has gone completely overboard. People are just effing nuts!
    But it saddens me that I find this product, like the bullet-proof backpacks, to be entirely believable. Stupid, ridiculous, horrendous, even. But still believable.
    *headdesk*

  2. These pictures kind of remind me of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txfdGlxEsG8 Kids getting attacked and swallowed up by bright red objects! Who can stop this carnage? Who can save us from this mayhem? Certainly not the US government! The NSA knows what you filled your stomach with at breakfast, but they can’t keep you from getting filled full of lead during Mrs Grady’s English class.

    It also reminds me of “Duck & Cover” where kids where laughably taught the Soviet Union might nuke America at any minute because those crazy-evil Soviets were willing to destroy the entire world if it meant winning it. “But don’t worry kids, hiding under your desk will keep you safe!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKqXu-5jw60
    Why attempt solve your problems peacefully when you can perpetuate violence while promising safety, no matter how ludicrous the promise? “Your fear makes you do what we want you to do. So keep being afraid. Do what we want. And we’ll keep you safe”

    In either case, this is laughably sad. But remember kids, the only thing that can keep you safe from a madman with a gun is another madman with a gun. So let’s keep cranking out madmen with guns and everything will be OK, right?

  3. sure is a nice school you got here…

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