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Fuck Huffinton Post!

As if it weren’t bad enough that the business model was built on NOT paying the writers.
It’s insulting that the site is little more than aggregated links to someone else’s work on external sites presented under glib headlines.
It’s annoying that fully half the fucking place is devoted to Deepak Chopra, side-boob photos, and Snooki.
I noticed today they have a COMEDY EDITOR, determined to hold forth on the relative cultural relevance of Jerry Seinfeld versus Louis CK. Excuse me while I add whatzername to my list of blithering morons whose byline I can safely ignore.
HuffPo is far too often nothing more than SEO optimized nothing with SEO optimized headlines (“What Time Does the Superbowl Start? Have you been asking what time the Superbowl gets underway? If you want to know the time of the Superbowl kick-off, look no further. Huffington Post is here to tell you what time the Superbowl begins!”)
The straw that broke my mouse’s back is the goddamn auto-refresh. It’s apparently not enough to have the busiest three-column layout on the fucking planet, but Arianna Huffington obviously feels the need to refresh each column every twenty seconds. I don’t know shit about how that crap works, but since it serves no practical purpose beyond frustrating the jesus lifting christ on skis out of me, I assume it must be to boost their page views or some stupid, useless fucking thing. IF I WANT THE FUCKING PAGE REFRESHED, I’LL FUCKING WELL RELOAD IT!
I’ll read Krugman in the Times. Arianna, you can keep Deepak. And feel free to NOT let me know what Linda Fucking Resnick is doing this week.

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21 Responses

  1. Hey, cuz:
    I figgered when Wolcott dropped ’em from the blogroll, it was a good time to cull my blog preferences. While everyday is Saturday to us retired folx, we can more profitably waste time elsewhere.

  2. BTW, I grew up playing pool in certain notorious places, and never saw a real billiards table until my Dutch girlfriend took me to her sister’s pub in Zeeland. Her 90 y.o. father was the local champ despite shaky arthritic hands, but I really for a long time could not figure out how they scored the game (What? No holes?). Once I got a glimpse of what was going on, I packed up my cue and gave it to a much younger cousin who seemed to have a better future in professional delinquency.

    • On a pure billiards table (no pockets), there are basically two ways to play: straight carom billiards, in which you score two points each time you make your cue ball contact the other two balls on the table…and three-cushion, which requires the same two-ball contact, but you must use three cushions in any single shot.
      Straight carom is, obviously, a much simpler game. Willie Hoppe once had a run into the thousands of points by managing to jam the two object balls, side-by-side, into the corner and then proceeding to run the cue ball back-and-forth across the front of them, never dislodging the two object balls.
      Three cushion billiards is perhaps the most difficult cue sport ever invented, requiring a knowledge of angles and a degree of cue ball control that takes YEARS of dedicated practice to become really fucking terrible.

      • “…YEARS of dedicated practice to become really fucking terrible.” LOL I recognized that immediately which is why I gave up the game entirely. I’ll still fool around on the occasional bar room table, but I know I can’t be serious. These guys are really good.( comparatively speaking). I had never seen such control before.

        • I’ve been at the table for about 40 years. I was once a better-than-average snooker player, and had the opportunity to play three-cushion with a few old fellas who knew the game and taught me well. I still know the angles (once learned…), and my cue ball control is better than most (in my ever so humble opinion), but 3C is the sort of game where coming close is its own reward.
          There are vids online that will blow your mind if you’re inclined to watch. I am so inclined, and can often see the shot they’re going to play before they play it…but the execution. Jesus…the execution.

  3. I’ll take a look. Despite my surrender to the obvious, I remain fascinated with the game. And yes, I am familiar with Willie Hoppe.

  4. Stop sugarcoating it. 😀

    • I should have taken The Driftington Post hint, but it turns out I’m slow on the uptake.
      This has been simmering for some time. It started with Deepak.
      I freely admit, Natalie Portman nip slips kept me coming back…for awhile.
      But then Robert Lanza…and much like the “Once you start looking for ‘Both Sides’, it’s everywhere”… Arianna’s websploitation became progressively more intolerable (Pun?).
      I might have strangled the habit right then and there, but habits are called HABITS for a reason.
      I’m embarrassed, frankly, that it took a technical issue to finally save me. But, like a reformed smoker, I am now among the worst enemies that sad waste of pixels might ever imagine.

      • Who doesn’t enjoy a good nip slip? But, nipples or not, it’s always sad to see any media outlet dumb itself down.

        That’s what the real problem here is. It’s not so much the commentators and their quality/bias, although it’s important. Idiots should not be given platforms to spout idiocy.

        It is the overall content that counts. I don’t go to Huffington Post very often. But every time I do, I have to wade through considerable amounts of meaningless bullshit topics and bullshit opinions to get to something worthwhile. For example, on today’s Canadian Huff-Po Frontpage:

        Jay-Z says something stupid, Jennifer Aniston gets a big ring, Canada’s best Thanksgiving related songs,Brooke Shields goes outside without makeup, deranged killer kills attractive person, etc etc etc. Oh yeah…and the ads (even though I use ad blocking software)

        Here’s the fundamental question: Does every media outlet have to suck shit and/or be continuously dumbed down?

        • MY GOD! DID YOU SEE THAT BROOK SHIELDS PHOTO?
          WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?
          Andre Agassi has to be counting his lucky stars.

  5. I’d still give “the post” to Huffington herself, though.

    • Your dream tag team: Sarah Palin and Arianna Huffington.
      You are a sick man – beyond hope with no chance of redemption.
      I am at once disgusted and impressed.

      • To paraphrase a character -and my personal role model- from this New Minas, Nova Scotia based classic:

        Ring a ding-ding, baby! (Hopefully that video didn’t embed)

  6. I rather like the occasional side-boob.

    • Been a while, Zirgar. I still occasionally check you website for new content.

      • Yeah, it’s been a while, that’s for certain. I’ve been burning up all my anger and outrage on in-person confrontations, which probably makes no sense, since venting online is safer and more practical. Maybe one day I’ll get back to spewing my anger and outrage online again. Thanks for keeping my blog on your radar, though.

        • Not to mention that physical confrontations are good way of getting killed. I hear everyone is packing military grade weaponry in ‘Merica these days.

  7. I was driven away from HuffPo years ago by the way it strangled your computer the moment you visited it. I saw that S.H.A.M.E. had a takedown of HuffPo, but I didn’t get to delve into it. Cloudtransit highlighted S.H.A.M.E. as a site worth visiting, especially if you’re not turned off by strident hot-talk.

    http://cloudtransit.wordpress.com/2012/09/21/deep-fried-hypocrites/

    • I agree, that’s one cluttered design that is harder to read/navigate than it should be. Slower computers can turn into snails.

      Unfortunately, a lot of news-sites are like that. Hell, even network TV is getting like that. No wonder everyone has ADHD.

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