Super Tuesday GOP WTF

Super Tuesday (Like Mardi Gras except without the beads, booze, tits, music and fun) failed to accomplish anything save to further reveal the Republican party as overrun by ignorant, thoughtless, bugfuck crazy idiots working themselves into a lathered dervish over which prevaricating, unethical, incompetent joke will win the honour of being crushed by President Obama in the general election.

Mitt Romney was hoping to finally seal the deal and be acknowledged as far enough in front of the bat pack to make his coronation a fait accompli. He needed more victories than he got, and he needed bigger margins than he managed to achieve. The robotic, uncomfortable, plastic multimillionaire won Vermont, Massachusetts, Idaho, Virginia (where he and Ron Paul were the only candidates on the ballot), and eked out a razor-thin win over Rick Santorum in Ohio.
Santorum, a god-walloping hypocritical crook who winks at birthers and stokes anti-Muslim fear and hatred, managed to pull out wins in Tennessee, North Dakota, and Oklahoma.
Newt Gingrich won Georgia, which I only mention for the sake of being thorough. Newt’s campaign is deader than cocaine sales at Eric Stolz’s house in Pulp Fiction. The only question is to whom Newtie will vomit his delegates when the time comes.
Ron “He Who Must Not Be Named” Paul managed a few second place finishes: Idaho, Alaska, North Dakota, Virginia and Vermont (where, as noted, Ron and Mitt were the only options on the ballot).

And so the endless yammering over delegate counts, super delegates, the next primary; the hesitance of the base to support Mitt; the revulsion of thinking people at the very idea that someone like Rick Santorum has any political legs whatsoever; the whining of Gingrich about how the media is out to destroy a thrice-married, blatantly racist, overblown gasbag who was bum-rushed out of Washington; the constant barrage of outright lies, myopic fumbling, racist dog whistles, vicious backstabbing, pig ignorance and unthinking moments in which these power-mad flunkies reveal their true character (or lack thereof) will continue.

When Andrew Sullivan, who has carried buckets of water for Conservative insanity for years, calls out Romney as a serial liar it barely scratches the surface of the GOP establishment’s fantasy that there must be someone, somewhere who stands at least as good a chance with moderate, independent voters come November.
David Frum – desperate to worm his way back into the good graces of Republican punditry ever since he was exiled for pointing out the depth and breadth of their hateful madness – has tried to excuse Romney’s lies as wee fibs told by an honest man caught between the rock of honesty and the hard place of appealing to twisted, ignorant, homophobic, dittohead rubes. This particular bit of tailoring for the Emperor’s new clothes is incisively shredded by Jonathan Chait. Frum, for his part, appears still conflicted, torn between his formative years as the man who put lies in George W. Bush’s mouth, his epiphany that he was employed by a gang of thugs obviously rotten to the very core, and his panicked desire to be invited back into the club. Sadly (depending on one’s perspective), he keeps flirting with reason and truth.

Rick Santorum displays no more fealty to the truth.
While ratcheting up his claim to love Jesus more than any of the other candidates and demonstrating that the bible will trump the constitution as his guide for governing, the frothy one has told one blatant lie after another, traversing the litany of right wing tripe: President Obama is a snob for wanting American children to get a decent education, and supports partial-birth abortion; contraception, euthanasia in the Netherlands, abortion causes breast cancer, health care reform…the list goes on. Wake me when he says something demonstrably true.

All of the foregoing departures from reality are in keeping with standard Republican operating procedure. It goes well beyond simple stupidity like denying evolution and global warming, and struts shamelessly into inventing a mythical President Obama – a complete straw man against whom their insistent lies are deployed. They say, without even batting an eye, that the president has increased the deficit, raised taxes, harmed the economy, apologized for America, is soft on terrorism, and wink at those who insinuate that he wasn’t even born in America and is a secret Muslim.
The truth is that President Obama brought America back from the brink of financial ruin, slashed the deficit, cut taxes, increased drone strikes on terror targets, killed Osama bin Laden, was born in Hawaii and is, disappointingly, an avowed Christian. He has conducted himself with poise during some of the most precarious moments in recent history and while facing previously unimaginable levels of obstruction from the Republicans.
This is not to say he’s perfect. He hasn’t sent Eric Holder to slap the cuffs on Wall Street thieves; investigated the Bush administration for war crimes; repealed the Patriot Act; reconciled the State/Federal drug laws, or done any number of things for which I might have hoped. Nevertheless, gays may now serve openly in the military, the march towards full LGBT equality is moving forward rather than being impeded by a bunch of hate-filled, retrograde theocrats, and millions of children who went without now have health care.
Meanwhile, the ass-backward GOP continues to paint the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell as some sort of dangerous social experiment despite it having been perfectly successful in every other military force on earth save Turkey. They trot out Newt Gingrich to yammer about the sanctity of marriage. They lie that mandated contraceptive coverage in employer-based insurance amounts to tax dollars to pay for orgies…and they refuse to condemn their bloated, pill-popping leader when he calls a private citizen a slut and a prostitute.

The Republican convention is in Miami. It is uncertain that any of the candidates will have garnered a sufficient number of delegates to win the nomination with any significant time to spare, and the entrance of fresh meat remains a possibility. Some stunningly myopic dolts have floated Jeb Bush as a possibility – just what America needs, another Bush. Sarah Palin has not ruled out a run in 2016…or even, for that matter, answering the desperate call of Real ‘Merkans to save them from Obama. How’s that grab you? Palin/Gingrich. In this shameful season of Republican wailing and gnashing of teeth, backstabbing, lies and perfidy, one can only wonder what rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches toward Miami to be born.

4 Responses

  1. In an interview on (of course) Fox, Sarah Palin, while apparently trying not to jump up and down and pee on herself, indicated that why yes, she would consider being the GOP nominee if drafted. Please let it be so.

  2. Jebus, now Palin is complaining that Obama was not sufficiently vetted before he was nominated. God is there some way I can cut the top of my fucking skull off and rip out my brain? Is it possible she is the most brilliant comedian in history? No. No. No. Fucking no. She’s a fucking idiot. She really doesn’t get irony. She thinks it’s an alloy of steel. No she isn’t that smart. God kill me now.

  3. I don’t know what your TV situation is in Taiwan, but I just watched “Game Change,” which I recorded off HBO Saturday night. Palin’s idiocy is given a full airing, but there is nothing there that hadn’t previously been reported, so it isn’t a hatchet job. The woman really is breathtakingly ignorant, and offensively egocentric. Other than that, she was a swell candidate.

  4. Let’s put this into proper perspective.

    Other than Ron Paul, Mitt Romney is the only candidate that got into the race who ran before and preformed reasonably well. In the Republican Party, that fact alone gets you halfway there. Add to this the fact that:

    1) Among the other candidates, only former speaker Gingrinch has anything that approaches a serious resume. Unfortunately for him, his sexual resume is generally remembered better. Those that do remember his speaker-ship mostly remember the idiotic crusade against Clinton for having a penis and that Newt was jettisoned from office due to corruption.

    2) Even though Perry is a Governor of a major state, him and the rest are complete clowns nobody took seriously before they were forced to. The media had to treat them seriously in order to keep the drama level up, so they could milk this marathon for every rating point they could. It’s amazing how the more the media treats people seriously, the more serious they become, even if they are complete jokes.

    3) Mitt has more money in one Swiss bank account alone than all the other candidates have combined…even if they mortgaged/sold everything they own. Money is no hurdle for Romney.

    4) While the others had jobs, Mitt has been running for President for about 6 years.

    Given that, this should have been over by the 1st Primary after New Hampshire. Yet this sorry assed loser was just barely considered the front-runner after Super Tuesday. Truth is, he got much closer to losing than anyone realizes.

    The bottom line is that a clear majority of his own party can’t stand the guy and most of his own voters wish they had a better option.

    And yet, despite:

    1) the massive youth, minority and gender “gaps” this candidate and his party has
    2) Obama’s impressive campaigning skills (governing not so much)

    I STILL GIVE THIS ASSCLOWN ROMNEY AT LEAST A 50% CHANCE OF WINNING! If the Republicans put anything decent on the table, or even something that got Republican juices flowing, this wouldn’t even be close.

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