The Republican clown car full of damaged, twisted and vicious freaks all clamouring for a job none of them deserve or are remotely competent to perform continues.
Billionaire Romney, a wooden, wind-up caricature of a human being that will say any damn thing it thinks will please whomever it can see, is trying to appear a “Real American” who has walked the streets and feared losing his job. With $20 million stashed in his retirement account and offshore investments in Luxemburg, the Cayman Islands and Swiss bank accounts, it’s not an easy sell. The man’s total inability to deliver a single line with anything approaching sincerity (read: There goes Mitt lying his ass off again; if he says his fucking NAME I want to check his ID!) only makes the sham more laughable.
Newt Gingrich, who everyone hates immediately because it saves time; thrice married scumbag who leaves wives the moment they get sick (or he deems them sufficiently ugly to hinder his Machiavellian grasp at the oval office) has promised America a manned moon base after two terms. Not content to ignore the fact that he stands a snowball’s chance in hell of ever pulling together an electoral victory, or outrunning the laundry list of shitty, unethical, back-stabbing, hateful things he’s racked up in his political career, and thus unable to run on what shamefully passes for his record, Newt has gone full bore into fantasy land: A MOON BASE, complete by the end of his SECOND term.
Ron Paul, a senile acolyte of Ayn Rand, continues to hang in there yammering his unworkable nonsense to the delight of stupid, juvenile libertarian fan boys, while Rick Santorum persists in injecting his brand of frothy faith in Jesus as the absolute panacea for all that ails the new American century. Neither are getting anywhere near the convention or the white house or even a cabinet post.
And after 435,767 debates where are we? The establishment Republicans seem to have resigned themselves to Romney, who no one ever wanted but, according to the sages of the GOP, stands the best chance in the general election…and Gingrich who everyone hates and that’s fine because Newt hates them back with double intensity.
Even that stalwart political cocktease Sarah Palin can’t resist jamming her three cents worth of muddled imbecility into the mix. Blathering in her own inimitable style on Fox News, Sarah objected to an article by Peggy Noonan:
“They maybe subscribe such characterization of Newt via words like that, but they don’t subscribe those to say Mitt Romney when he or his surrogates do the same thing,” she said. “That’s that typical hypocrisy stuff in the media that I’ve lived with over a couple of decades in the political arena. So I’m used to it. But in order to help educate the rest of the American public, I’ll articulate that it is hypocritical of the media to subscribe to one candidate and not another, that kind of ‘angry attack muffin’ verbiage to one and not the other.”
See, in Sarah’s stunned conception of how things ought to work, if the media is going to call out one candidate for being a petulant dick, they must then call out the others for…something. It would be unfair to report the nature, content and tone of a vicious, unhinged hate bomb like Newt Gingrich unless they also go after Mitt.
Of course, having been exposed as an illiterate, unread, poorly educated, completely ignorant buffoon, Sarah tends to view the media with some suspicion. After all, how dare they tell the truth? In the Palinverse, anyone who doesn’t kiss her ass and agree that she’s right is a commie fifth columnist out to destroy America and hate on Jesus. Stupidity of this unqualified degree should be in the race.
The GOP grew tired long ago of the media telling the truth. They set up their own media wing – Fox News – which incessantly and unrelentingly attacks everything the president attempts as un-American; the work of a secret Muslim socialist intent on destroying their imaginary way of life. Any media presence that actually does its job by reporting the truth (or, god forbid, challenging the litany of outright lies spewed by Republicans) is simply distorting the record because they’re obviously in the bag for the left. For an audience of three million equally ignorant, deeply brainwashed, reflexively racist voters, these assumptions are never questioned. Fair and balanced has come to mean something else entirely.
Aside from the amusement this show offers, fettered only by the fear that one of these backward idiots might actually become president, what is one to make of it all? The conclusion that America is in terminal decline; that the principles upon which it was founded ( despite what the prevaricating Republican candidates wrongly assert were those principles) have been ground into the dust, seems inescapable.
When half the population is blinded by lies and seeks a leader from a pack of angry fools, each vying to tell yet bigger lies plucked from the utter fantasy in which their presidential aspirations slowly drown; when that band of blithering buttplugs is more deeply devoted to hindering and defeating their political opponent than committed to enacting policies that will actually serve the people, one can no longer pretend optimism.
Moon Base Alpha, out.