Our Blacks v. Their Blacks

In the wake of the revelation that Herman Cain was once accused of sexual harassment, the usual suspects on the yammering right seem to be attempting to outdo one another in the race to be the most offensive.

Sean Hannity, the inveterate liar and charity scam artist, brushes off sexual harassment as harmless office banter while labeling victims as humorless.

Rush Limbaugh invoked Clarence Thomas and asserted that racism is the motivating factor in revealing that two women who worked with Cain filed complaints and received settlements.

But Ann Coulter, in an increasingly desperate effort to remain relevant in some small way, pulled out all the stops:

“Our blacks are so much better than their blacks,” she said, speaking of Democrats. “To become a black Republican, you don’t just roll into it. You’re not going with the flow…and that’s why we have very impressive blacks in the Republican party.”

Impressive?
They sure are. Who can forget Condi Rice in her role as National Security Director testifying before congress: “I didn’t do anything because no one told me to do anything. If there were something I needed to do, someone would have told me to do it.”
Or Colin Powell, swearing before the United Nations that the Bush administration had incontrovertible proof of WMD in Iraq.
Or Michael Steele, the hip-hoppiest chairman of the RNC.
Or Allen West, who retired from the military rather than face an investigation into his treatment of detainees in Iraq.
Or Clarence Thomas who, after surviving a “high-tech lynching” of very credible evidence regarding his own harassing conduct, went on to sit silently on the USSC, failed to report income as required by law, and seems to enjoy nothing so much as ruling on matters that directly relate to his wife’s political activism.

And now comes Herman Cain, talking about the “So-called Palestinians”, “Uzbeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan”, reformatting his memory and recollections of the charges once leveled against him, joking about electrified fences along the Rio Grande…except that he really meant it, and calling himself The Black Walnut.

Yeah, that’s an impressive gang of black Republicans alright.
Too bad the white Republicans are a collection of incompetent, backward, ignorant, xenophobic, war-mongering assholes.

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24 Responses

  1. In fairness, Republican blacks are so impressive Rick Perry named his hunting club after them.
    What the hell are black Republicans thinking? For that matter, why are there Log Cabin Republicans? And working-class Teabaggers?
    Don’t these people know Eric Cantor wouldn’t let them in his house?

    • In fairness to Perry, he didn’t name the place Niggerhead – someone else did that. He just didn’t change the name.
      One suspects that he resents having to call it “The N-wordhead”. Texans hate that politically correct shit.

      • This “fairness” stuff is how you can tell that Cousinavi has been getting laid lately. Normally it’s “All venom, All the time.”

        But, again, I do have to give props to Herman Cain for saying on national TV (loose quote) ” Let’s not beat around the bush. The story is the name of the camp. And the name of the camp is Camp Niggerhead.”

        Big up for calling a spade a spade. This kind of refreshing attitude is the main reason Cain is on the top of the polls.

  2. Don’t these people know Eric Cantor wouldn’t let them in his house?

    Sure he would – they would just have to come in the back door.

  3. Well, somebody has to wash his dishes.

  4. One could argue, with some success, that Republican Blacks are impressive…

    when compared to Republican Whites.

  5. Well, I just love all the buck dancing that Unca Herman does for his lighter brethren in the GOP. He sings, calls himself Walnut and calls black democrats “brainwashed” while Miss Ann hasn’t been informed that she can no longer “have” blacks.

    What sick twists the low hanging fruit of the GOP have become.

  6. “Her” blacks? Did she adopt them or something? Are the blacks in the Democratic Party “my” blacks? I was pretty sure I didn’t own them, but… These people are so bizarre!

  7. Check HuffPo this morning. Donald Trump is calling Jon Stewart a “racist” for making fun of Herman Cain. Is Trump unaware that Stewart is a comedian whose staff includes a “senior black correspondent?” You’d think a guy with that haircut would have a sense of humor.

  8. Ann Cunthair is one the most vial people on the planet. I’m positive she could read a Shakespearean love sonnet and make it sound like The Nuremberg Laws.

    Even when she’s right, (twice a century) like with this comment, it’s still so vial you projectile vomit at the idea of swallowing it. But black Republicans are different. It takes much more commitment because you have to take a lot of bullshit from your own side, both racial and political sides.

    I just think of what Powell was put through by Cheney, Rummy & Co and how he still knowingly ate that shit sandwich in front of the UN for them. You may want to put a dunce cap on him, but you do have to give him an A for Loyalty. He completely sacrificed himself for the cause, a cause he was only lukewarm for. What white Republican would do that?

    If only we could get that level of commitment from black Democrats (Hint: those living in the White House) who supposedly believe in the cause. Instead, they pussy out.

    • VILE!
      Vial of anthrax, for example.
      Yo momma, in contrast.
      I was just gonna fix them but I decided to mock you instead.

      The “Fell on his sword – that’s honourable, eh?” defense must then extend to Ollie North. Sorry, no.

      I’m so fucking sick of the Big O not getting credit for the massive agenda he has managed to accomplish in the face of unprecedented obstruction, heretofore unimaginable levels of pure batshit foolishness AND a starting point so deep in the shit you need a snorkel.
      And you STILL won’t get the rainbows and unicorns you want – not even in a 2nd term where HE has nothing left to lose – BECAUSE he ain’t the sort of cunt to go wrecking the long game just to make a point.

      • And the sound you hear is my heart going pitter patter. Thank you, avi.

      • Forgot to add – and you can have my unicorn. 🙂

      • Yeah, caught that vial error myself just after posting. I was hoping that, in this age of illiteracy, it would slide by unnoticed. I’ll get you back, you bastard!

        ( Hold on….vial, Ann Coulter, Ann Thrax. A new nickname is born!)

        Yeah, I forgot about Ollie North. Imagine that. Although, you could argue he was more Lee Harvey Oswalded than it was a voluntary sacrifice. The rats were eager to leave the ship and pin it on him, as there were no black Republicans to pin it on at the time. But so rare are these examples, I’ll give you that one. But I got to admit, there is something admirable about dying for a cause, especially a lost cause.

        Speaking of Black Jesus, I was never expecting unicorns, but I was hoping for at least one testicle to show up. But he seems very disinterested in the crucifixion so many already want to give him. So, I just slipped into agnosticism.

      • Thank you!

  9. Since it seems that we can own blacks again, I got dibs on Halle Berry!

  10. I’ve said it before, I hesitate to say it again because I might offend anyone actually with the problem….O.K. enough with the hesitation

    Ann Coulter = Twiggy with Tourettes

    Bruce

  11. I have no problem with Twiggy. What the fucking shit goddamn cunt-eating fuck are you talking about?

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