I Googled, “What percentage of Americans reject evolution?”

From the top:

22 Oct 2005 – (CBS) Most Americans do not accept the theory of evolution. Instead, 51 percent of Americans say God created humans in their present form…

10 Aug 2006 – A third of U.S. adults believe evolution is “absolutely false…”

I could go on. It’s depressing.

And I’m not sure what’s worse – that some people actually believe godunnit or the cynical and craven exploitation of those buffoons in the political process.

Comes THIS particular buffoon:

Rep. Steve Pearce (R-N.M.) spoke this week to the Western Republican Conference in Nevada, and argued that environmentalists are crazy. This was his pitch:

“We got kooks running Washington, basically. Kooks are in charge of our government. You all can recognize a kook, but the media seems to not understand. Around two years ago, some guy in New Mexico claimed he was the messiah. And the press couldn’t figure it out. I’m sorry, but the answer to that is real simple. You take them five miles off the coast and let ‘em out. If he walks home, you think about it. If he sinks to the bottom, then he probably wasn’t the messiah. But we’ve got people like that in Washington running our agencies.

“People are declaring that we descended from apes. Now, I know that’s not true. The argument that we descended from sheep is still an open question. But the ape idea is completely out of line.”

If he walks home, you think about it.

Look, I want to be perfectly clear…if the motherfucker WALKS ON WATER, I’ll do more than THINK about it.
In a less charitable light, let’s drown anyone claims to be Jesus. Not to get off the rails here but how about we drown anyone who claims to know what god wants?

I’m so sick of this “I din’t come from no ape” ignorance. No, you uneducated, redneck, backwater fucktard…apes and we share a common ancestor.
“Wha’l then why’s thar still apes?”
Fucking imbecile.
How is anyone supposed to govern with people who’s entire world view is poisoned, literally retarded (as in held back, obstructed, slowed, impeded)?

What would be your opinion of any candidate who said something like, “Well, you know, the Theory of Gravity is only a theory”?

Ever heard of Edwin Hubble?
Whenever someone starts in with godunnit, I wish there was a Hubble tree, so I could break off a branch and beat them to death with it.
And a Darwin tree which, of course, would lend itself rather elegantly to the fashioning of Punji sticks.

People are free to believe whatever ridiculous crap they want. You feel better knowing in your heart of hearts that Elvis is alive? That Tom Cruise isn’t gay? That 9/11 was an inside job? That Shane didn’t die? Fill your boots…but you’re disqualified from holding public office. You’re an idiot.

Same goes for evolution deniers and, the time has come to be fucking well clear about it, all the godunnits.
No one can today be elected in America without publicly avowing faith in the magical sky wizard and it’s simply time this foolish bullshit stopped. And not merely stopped – utterly inverted. Anyone who attributes cause to ANY god; who points to an unanswered question and asserts with conviction GOD, disqualifies herself from having anything whatsoever to say about public policy.

The willful ignorance of science is one thing. The gullibility and shallow, needy character required to grasp at magic and myth is another. The craven and ugly opportunities this utter lack of anything remotely orbiting reason provides…

You reject evolution. No one can reasonably expect you to have anything like a decent idea about how to go about anything serious.


22 Responses

  1. Quite well said (as usual).

  2. What would you do to the rather substantial number of American blacks who don’t believe O.J. cut his wife’s head off? Or the huge number of Baby Boomers who think Oswald was framed? Everybody believes some sort of horseshit, except you and me. And I’m not sure about you.

    • According to the US justice system, OJ was “not guilty” of cutting off his wife’s head.

      In a similar vein, Oswald was never found guilty of anything. I also wonder that, if it was anybody other than the American President who got shot that day, he could have been convicted. Although, it is Texas.

      Reasonable doubt is a wonderful thing.

    • Ummm, I don’t think that believing in the guilt (or non guilt) in murder cases is quite the same as accepting proven scientific facts.

      • I disagree. There are no “scientifically proven facts.” All science is subject to change. That’s what makes it different from religion. When something is sufficiently well established, such as Darwinian evolution (or O.J.’s guilt), it becomes a theory. That’s the best we can do. Anything that is not at least hypothetically falsifiable is not science. That’s why I’m an atheist.

  3. I sure miss the Enlightenment. I’m still waiting for someone to come out against pasteurization.

  4. People are free to believe whatever ridiculous crap they want. You feel better knowing in your heart of hearts that Elvis is alive? That Tom Cruise isn’t gay? That 9/11 was an inside job? That Shane didn’t die? Fill your boots…but you’re disqualified from holding public office. You’re an idiot.

    Elvis is alive and he resides in Collingwood Ontario. Like Rosie O’Donnell is straight for Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise is straight for Katie Holmes. 9/11 was a (metaphoric) inside job. And who the fuck is Shane? You mean the other cop on the The Walking Dead?? If so, he is still yet to have been turned into Zombie Chow.

    Anyone who attributes cause to ANY god; who points to an unanswered question and asserts with conviction GOD, disqualifies herself from having anything whatsoever to say about public policy.

    First, if it’s an unanswered question, I think everybody can make up their own damn answer. For example, I’m crediting Louis CK with everything this week. Next week, it could be the George the St Bernard. (Remember him Cousinavi? He was a 70’s dog with mysterious powers. It was him and Hobo right down to the wire! )

    If people were disqualified from voting by believing in stupid shit, next year’s US Presidential election would be decided by 27 votes to 13. That just ain’t Representative Democracy. When you’ve got a nation full of delusional idiots, you either let ’em vote & hope, or kiss democracy good-bye.

    We all believe in stupid shit, if only temporarily. Believing in a Sky Daddy is just one of countless options. Every year, millions of people think the Maple Leafs have a shot at winning the Stanley Cup. Shit, some idiots still believe in “true love”.

    I don’t care if a guy believes that a mole burrowing in his backyard is the Supreme Being. As long as he’s with me on the issues, he can donate 10% of his income to the Holy Mole, slice off his own foreskin (but not those of his minor children) deep fry it and eat it for all I care.

    What matters is how his daft belief affects where he comes down on issues & how it affects society. If his mole worship results in him favouring better treatment of the visually impaired & those who are a little “hirsute”, or him pushing policies to support more efficient underground living communities, fine. But if it results in him favouring rounding up gays, stealing from the 99% to feed the 1%, permanent war and the revoking of rights & freedoms, than fuck that shit!

    I don’t like seeing people believe in stupid shit, but all I care about is the end result. Sometimes, primitive superstition gets you to do something “enlightened self-thinking” (or a stupid person’s version of it) might not.

    That said, it’s really repulsive to watch how an entire nation keeps pretending they believe in God and that He exists for the sole benefit of America. It’s offensive on so many fronts.

    • “enlightened self-thinking” What the fuck was I thinking? I meant “enlightened self-interest”

      See how easy it is to be temporarily stupid? Even I get it sometimes.

  5. I believe Elizabeth Warren single-handedly created the OWS movemment!

  6. I AM Elizabeth Warren – by day. By nights I’m a drunken idiot in Indiana. And yes, I did create the OWS movement. However, it was entirely by accident. I was working on a bowel movement and made a typo on my laptop and the rest is history. Where’s my Scotch?

  7. Hate to hijack the thread, but Oakland cops just shot an unarmed Iraq vet in the head with a tear gas canister during an Occupy protest. He’s in critical condition.
    I’m a veteran of civil rights and anti-Vietnam protests, and this feels exactly the same.
    Fuck the pigs.

  8. Well, perhaps you would enjoy China if you want politicians who absolutely never attribute anything to God. Not because it is “forbidden” but because the thought wouldn’t even occur to 90+% of them.

    Sadly, even if every last human being accepted evolution as the explanation for why we are here I believe very little would change regarding the fate of our species and the mark we will leave on this planet. You see, we are now “civilized” and our way of living is completely at odds with a continuing “successful” evolution. Simply not believing there is a God will not change the position we have taken against the Earth – the position that says we (NOT evolutional) have control over our food, other species, our land, and our destiny. “We are our own damn gods.”

    • You don’t know shit about China…or evolution.
      Evolution is not directed. It has no goal. It is never successful or unsuccessful.
      Not accepting the fact of evolution by natural selection is the mark of a moron.

      • I’m waiting to evolve into a man-god who flies, can turn invisible and has a 7 metre penis that shoots laser beams out of it.

        So far, evolution has failed to meet my expectations of it. But I’m sure the Chinese will come up with a product that can do that within a few years. Unfortunately, it will break within 3 days and I’ll probably laser my own nuts off.

        • So, all you need are wings and a laser.

        • Yeah, wings and a laser isn’t too much to ask from Evolution, is it? I mean, it’s not like I’m expecting human nature to slightly improve or anything. That would be asking for too much. That’s Miracle From God territory. 😉

        • Piffle. A quick swim in the pond down by the nuclear plant right where there farm run-of meets the septic tank overflow from Ben Johnson’s old training camp and you’re golden.

  9. Just reading that comment alone gave me Beaver Fever. I can only imagine what drinking that contaminated water would do.

    Speaking of Beaver Fever, I know you enjoy being both physically and psychologically as far away from Canuckistan as you possibly can these days (especially in January), but your old pal Peter Mackay has been on a bit of a roll lately. You said before Peter Mackey would be the one topic that could get you to pay attention to your former home on native land.

    First there were the jets. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/mackay-racks-up-nearly-3-million-in-flights-on-vip-jets/article2184074/

    Then there were the $32,000/hr choppers. http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/12/01/peter-mackays-story-of-search-and-rescue-helicopter-use-contradicted-by-emails/

    Then the former Belinda-banging playboy moved on to penthouse hotel rooms. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/mackay-spent-1450-a-night-while-staff-settled-for-275-hotel-rooms/article2272354/ I really wonder who those “VIP guests” he “needed” this luxurious suite to host were and if they spent the entire night, or had to slink out before breakfast. If only Frank Magazine was still around.

    The dollar amounts (over $3 million) are pretty impressive. But the story is all about Mackay’s VIP attitude, something Canadians can continue to expect as the Harper Dynasty progresses. Blessed be His name! (That blessing required by new empirical fiat, by the way.)

    I figured we were on a big tangent here already and, with so few new articles lately, (despite a few worth writing about nudge, nudge) why not fill space with a news update from my insignificant little colony -eh?

    • You have no idea how much I loathe that pretentious, arrogant, shitball spawn of a murdering bag man.

      • Oh, I’m rapidly getting there too and I don’t know half of what you know about him.

        You hate him and you’re halfway around the world! I’ve been stuck here with that backstabbing VIP douchebag AND his fellow fucking Harperite scum in charge for -shit!- about 5 years now and (at minimum) will be stuck with them for at least another 4years! These assholes are ruthlessly sodomizing this dying nation as if they were priests and we were altar boys. This thanks to their (39% of voters) “majority”.

        This guy blows 3 million on personal jet rides, orders search & rescue choppers like cabs and denys Canada handed people over to be tortured. And yet I’m not even sure Petey cracks the Top 5 pieces of shit in this government!

        They build fake lakes right next to a real one and blow over a billion dollars beating & spying on G20 protestors to amuse their international overlords, billions on stealth jets and prisons…and then they tell us to tighten our belts cause the tax cuts have to be made up for with spending cuts.


        • Oh, and I forgot to mention how Petey almost single handedly destroyed a once proud Canadian political party. He was elected PC leader overtly promising not to merge with the CRAP and within 6 months he does. I’d like to make his nose even bigger, if you catch my drift.

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