Old news: Newt Gingrich’s campaign staff jumped ship. Reports – including some from the very folks who quit the gig – cited zombie Botox Barbie wife #3 Calista as the major reason. Word around the campfire was that Newt wasn’t listening to the professionals he hired to gin up a pitch; Calista was calling the shots and if her spin was at odds with the pros, she held trump cards…so the pros walked. That’s what pros DO. If you hire me for advice and refuse to listen to it, I’ve got better things to do.
“I believe NBC owes Callista an apology, because the fact is my campaign is my campaign,” Gingrich told Fox News’s Greta Van Susteren. “Yes, we make decisions as a couple, but in the end, I take full responsibility. And I think the program this morning was totally irresponsible, and personally reprehensible, and the kind of thing that makes it hard to get decent people to run for public office.”
First, NBC was merely reporting what the fleeing former staffers SAID. They didn’t invent the claim, so Newt’s butthurt demand is just a page out of Sarah Palin’s playbook: How DARE the damn media report what people said!?!?
Second, the self-serving bit of blather that decent people are chased out of politics by such reportage. Great jumped up horny toads! Newt Gingrich…a thrice divorced serial adulterer who got blowjobs from his mistress while his children walked past the vehicle in which the knob gobbling was going down; a man who served his wife divorce papers while she lay in a hospital bed recovering from cancer; a man who was fined $300,000 and chased out of Washington for ethics violations; a man who routinely mixes his numerous “For profit” gigs with his numerous “Tax-free charitable organizations”…THIS is the sort of decent fella who wouldn’t run because the press reports facts. I believe I am about to be overcome by a case of the vapors.
Gingrich goes on, attacking those who, when asked, explained why they abandoned The Gingrich:
“These were supposed to be professionals who we were paying, who supposedly had some sense of confidentiality, and who promptly… did some back-stabbing in a way that I just found amazing,” Gingrich said.
Comparing his marriage to Ronald Reagan’s, Gingrich said former aides couldn’t handle working for a candidate whose wife had a seat at the table.
“Callista and I have a very similar relationship to Nancy and Ronnie Reagan,” he said. “People blamed Nancy Reagan for things that Ronald Reagan did.
Like Ron and Nancy, eh? So, Calista is consulting astrologers and covering up for Newt’s ever more apparent degenerative neurological condition?
No, Newt…I blame Ronnie for the shit Ronnie did. Nancy helped, though. And not to put too fine a point on it, but your staff didn’t blame Calista, they blamed YOU. They said you were not engaged in the campaign the way they considered necessary; that you were too busy doing other things – things that Calista considered important and they didn’t – things like taking a Greek cruise instead of working the delegates and the donors; an almost complete failure to achieve a meeting of the minds.
Twisting it into some vacuous “They can’t handle a strong woman” bit of shit is a strange tack for a man who shuffles through wives like Kleenex, eventually settling on a woman who won’t accept attending early meetings because she needs time to get that plastic hair helmet in shape.
Like almost everything that comes out of Newt’s inverted fore-brain, he has it backwards. He owes his former staff an apology. He needs to say, “Sorry, I should have told you up front that your advice was going to be filtered through the sieve of my third wife’s conception of what I ought to do.”
And that’s what smart people do, right? They hire the best professionals money can buy and then check with some zombie mistress first. Like that time my mechanic told me what I needed done to make my motorcycle run right and I turned to my girlfriend and said, “Gee, Honey, what do you think?”
Or that other time my cardiologist insisted I have immediate surgery, and I decided to check and see if my girlfriend agreed. Because if the woman who sucks your dick doesn’t agree with the professionals you’re paying for expert advice, then fuck them.
“Gee, Honey, what do you think we should do about Iran?”