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Post Rapture Come Down

Pfft. What a gyp.
Got up this morning, ran downstairs to see what Jesus had left for me under the Rapture Tree. Nothing.
Went outside. Thought Jesus had brought me socks and underwear but scattered them all over the neighborhood. Turns out that wasn’t the case…wasn’t even evidence of the hoped for missing Christians. Neighbor’s clothesline broke.
I waited all day for the massive earthquake. With each passing hour, I became more and more frustrated. Around dinner time, I began mocking believers. “Take your pick, Jesus boy! No god, or YOU’RE no good!”
Turns out mocking believers is fun, and the more one drinks the more fun it is.
I’ve decided to have another rapture next week. Might even make it a regular thing.

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One Response

  1. Your underwear was raptured up to heaven and you weren’t? According to the classic bit of cinema, Left Behind, it’s supposed to work the other way around.

    I honestly can’t express how disappointed I am that I wasn’t raptured up off of this living hell.

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