BabyGate: Where’s the Long Form Birth Certificate?

I am not much for conspiracy theories. In my opinion, anyone who thinks 9/11 was an inside job / controlled demolition is a stark raving lunatic; anyone who thinks Barack Obama wasn’t born in Hawaii is a blithering idiot and probably a racist.
Osama bin Laden was shot by American SEALs, Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and fluoridated water is not a government program to do whatever morons think they’re doing with fluoride.

But there are conspiracies. Oswald did not get those shots off by himself. The CIA overthrew Mossadeq in Iran and assassinated Allende in Chile. I don’t know exactly what they’re up to, but I don’t fucking trust Archer Daniels Midland or Monsanto any farther than I can throw a John Deere combine harvester.

And then there’s the Sarah Palin pregnancy. I don’t know what to make of it, but one thing seems pretty clear: There’s something weird here.

From Laura Novak’s blog:

LN: Because I simply do not want to believe that this woman – any woman – shoved a square pillow under her shirt. I do not want to believe anyone could so smugly mug for the camera and thump a pillow. It’s abnormal beyond reason. It would be insane.

For comparison’s sake, here’s a photo of a slightly LESS pregnant Christina Aguilera:

…and the two photos juxtaposed:

…and a photo of Sarah Palin during her first pregnancy.

Sarah claimed that her “tight abs” helped hide her pregnancy into the third trimester. It would seem Sarah’s abs are getting better with age and tightening up with each successive pregnancy. I’m not sure that sounds reasonable, but it’s what she said.

Sarah said on many occasions that questions about Barack Obama’s birth certificate were legitimate and, at least in part, justified those questions with reference to questions about whether Trig was really her baby or not.

Put an end to this controversy. Release the long form birth certificate, Sarah.


20 Responses

  1. ok, (you opened a door for this) nevermind the twin towers- what about the pentagon? I’ve seen literally hundreds of pictures of airplanes after they hit things- they always leave, no surpise here, lots of readily identifiable pieces of airplane! ….but not, apparently, in this one case, when a 757 (one of the larger passenger aircraft) plowed into the building. Not one picture. not one piece of fuselage with airplane paint on it so say “Look! Look! Here was an airplane”.

    Who knows what the fuck went on that day, but we do not know the truth, only conjecture as to ‘who stands to benefit’ or lose the most. The rest, I think, was majority viewer weariness of the issue, not at all helped by mainstream media’s collusion or at least lack of professionalism in pursuing the truth in this case.

    • So, you’re one of those…
      Your explanation is that the US government flew either a drone or a missile into the Pentagon.
      Is that mere coincidence with the hijacked planes that took down the WTC or were those part of the plot, too?
      The problem with your proposition is that, standing alone – saying “The REST of it was terrorism, but he Pentagon was an inside job” makes no fucking sense at all. What could possibly justify risking being hanged for treason by tacking on a drone strike?
      You’re forced to posit that the WTC, Flight 93…all of it…was an inside job. And THAT is just batshit insane.

      • I’m going to quote you: “Your explanation is that the US government flew either a drone or a missile into the Pentagon.”

        That is false. I did NOT make ANY explanation above, and only said that we do not know the truth. I did NOT make any proposition- “The REST of it was terrorism, but he Pentagon was an inside job” you did, out of thin air. I did not assign blame to terrorists or any ‘inside job’. All I said was tthat we do not know the truth, and in the case of the Pentagon, the physical evidence at the scene does not match the official story. If there is a lack, it is with the creativity of our thinking. Perhaps, how and by whom it was done made it politically prudent to cover up aspects of the incident.

        • Look…I don’t know what you think you’re accomplishing here. SOMETHING flew into the Pentagon that day. SOMETHING punched a hole in the outer ring of that building, exploded and killed a bunch of people. The story is that it was a hijacked plane. YOU say it wasn’t. If you have no alternative explanation for the physical reality, asserting that it could not have been a plane leaves rather a big hole, eh?
          Given that everyone SAW planes fly into the WTC, it becomes rather more of a stretch to assert that the Pentagon was something else…especially when you cannot or will not say what it might have been.
          I mean…I’m trying to be as respectful as I can with this shit. OK…it wasn’t a plane. What caused the explosion and that hole in the reinforced concrete wall?
          Drone / missile is the explanation offered by the rest of the nutbars who share your paranoia. “I dunno…but it weren’t no plane” is a rather strange position to take.
          Your problem is that you want to take the first step, but refuse to take the next one because it plainly leads down a path that reveals the first step as having been utterly ridiculous. Sorry, Banyan…but that ain’t how the game of logical argument is played.

        • (can’t reply to your reply, it seems) Anyway, WHAT THE F are you blathering about, below Avi? Where (again I grow tired of this) did I DISCOUNT a missile hitting the Pentagon in my above statement? I said “we don’t know the truth”, that’s all. In the case of the Pentagon, a missle would very much fit the description of the damage caused, down to the small circular hole on the inner ring of damage.

          I’ll gladly take that next step and say it could’ve been a missile, locally ground based or a drone or coming in from somewhere else—-and then the question remains- who…..and then the next question that arises after that is “why the coverup”- but that question is probably answered by knowing who.

          That is the part I’m saying is a mystery. (Of course HOW it was done is also a minor mystery) but together with WHO one might find out WHY- maybe the answer is the same gang of Saudis that blew up the other stuff- a ‘strike at the heart of America’ motive, and that’s fine- and to be honest, that probably is enough of a motive for the administration of the time to cover it up, seeing at it could have been someone in King Faud’s immediate family who set it up- just sayin’ – but DON’T put words in my mouth, beeyatch 😉

        • Sigh.
          IF it were a gang of Saudi terrorists that fired a missile at the Pentagon, WHY say it was a plane?
          The only reason to cover it up is if it WEREN’T terrorists, but was part of a false flag operation. THIS is what I’m trying to get through to you. Once you say, “It was not a plane – there is a cover-up here!” it leads inexorably to “It was an inside job!” and THAT is just unsupportable madness. It’s IMPOSSIBLE, for a laundry list of reasons, not least of which the sheer number of people that HAD to have been involved. You’re talking about an administration that cocked up EVERY SINGLE THING it ever touched…but now allegedly managed to kidnap and kill at least TWO planes full of American citizens, fire a missile into the Pentagon, crash a plane into a field, arrange for two other hijacked planes to fly into the WTC, rigged those buildings for a controlled demolition…and did ALL OF IT without ANYONE seeing ANYTHING or blowing the whistle on the greatest act of treason in history.
          Give your head a shake.

        • Here is a perfect example of the kind of lack of creative thinking I was talking about- “The ONLY reason to cover it up is if it WEREN’T terrorists, but was part of a false flag operation.” your words. Here’s something- What if they were not the right KIND of terrorists? If word had got out naturally that 28 Saudi’s attacked the US is many different ways on the same day- left on its own public opinion would have swayed towards the NATURAL response- ATTACK SAUDI ARABIA, but instead, after the information was all brought under control and a new, distracting story could be composed- Al Qaeda, WMD’s, training camps (I’m dizzy by now)- then what does the USA do which everyone, including the media , agrees: ATTACK IRAQ!

          So here, contrary to your statement, is ANOTHER motive! protect Saudi Arabia, even though one of their rebellious grandsons attacked us- because, though the public wants revenge- they cannot direct it towards our oil-cow. Let it then be redirected in a way convenient to our larger selfish aims.

          Hijacking a plane and flying it into things is one thing- brazen, low tech and hackish, but a missile strike on the Pentagon (heck maybe even a missile sold to the Saudi’s BY the Pentagon) is worse, and may implicate the Saudi government/military. I haven’t got this from anywhere- it’s the first time I’ve thought of it- you’ve got your stock answers, it seems, but, as I have just shown, tyour uncreative view is serving to limit understanding, not potentially expand it. You are closing the discussion and yet the question remains open as to some aspects of what happened that day, by whom, and what the REAL response was.

        • Give your head another shake. IF it were a missile, it would be a HELLUVA lot easier to say, “It was a missile fired by [insert desired bogeyman here].”
          Saying, “Er…it was a plane…not a missile at all!” is just ASKING for trouble. Your premise makes no sense.
          Occam’s razor, Banyan Tree. You are unnecessarily multiplying terms…and forcing yourself through contortions that must be painful…or SHOULD be.

        • Occam’s Razor can shave my balls. You know what? Sometimes, especially in politics, finance and industry, the story IS complicated. To invoke O-R in this case is just lazy. O-R is great for physics no doubt- but we are far more scheming than protons. Imagine this headline: SAUDIS FIRE MISSILES INTO PENTAGON or better yet SAUDIS FIRE MISSILES WE SOLD THEM INTO THE PENTAGON. World history would change on that very day, and NOT in a way they want, even if they themselves (The USG) didn’t do it, the aftermath of that scenario would be very negative too, and worth avoiding, regardless, as they see it, of the consequences. Orders will be followed. Fuck – secrecy- easy! the F-117 stealth fighter was developed in 1981 and operated in secrecy until 1991!! In other words, by the time it had been revealed to everyone it was ALREADY 10 YEARS OBSOLETE! How’s that for successful secrecy?

        • Slow down, Tonto…you’re getting ahead of your horse.
          Your hypothetical is that THE PLANE story could be to cover up for a bunch of Saudis. OK. I can see how the US government might want to protect Saudi Arabia…but your “theory” has more holes in it than a golf course.
          1. The terrorists who flew the planes in the WTC WERE SAUDIS. No effort was made to hide this. For that matter OBL was a Saudi, and from a family intimately tied to the Bushes. No effort was made to hide that either. Can you feel your reasoning oozing down the drain yet?
          2. Let’s assume that you’ve hit the nail on the head – the Pentagon was struck by a missile fired by Saudis that was sold to SA by America. As I said before, there’s NO NEED TO INVENT A PLANE. All they have to do to protect Saudi Arabia (presuming they want or need to) is say, “It was a missile. It was fired by [insert desired alternative bogeyman here].” But your whole argument rests on an invented plane story to cover for something that wasn’t a plane. Problem is that you’ve got the US government inventing a plane to cover for both the WHAT and the WHO, and there’s no need to cover for EITHER of those things…AND inventing a plane has NOTHING TO DO with covering the WHO! Jesus Christ.
          3. If someone asks what sort of missile it was and where it came from…well, there’s LOTS of American missiles around. They can be bought on the black market, stolen from legitimate foreign sources. There just NO NEED WHATSOEVER to make up a bullshit story about a plane in order to cover WHO did it.

          No matter how you slice this shit…taking that first step (and it seems to be one you feel quite confident about) leads immediately to “Hmmm, no. This makes absolutely NO FUCKING SENSE.”

          And watch your words. By the time the stealth fighter was revealed, it was 10 years OLD, not 10 years OBSOLETE. It ain’t obsolete now. Further, by the time it was “revealed” everyone knew it existed anyway. So much for secrecy. But there’s a big difference between building a new sort of plane with new technology and keeping that a secret, and WIRING A PUBLIC BUILDING FOR CONTROLLED DEMOLITION and keeping THAT a secret.
          Presumably the stealth fighter was not built in downtown Manhattan with 100,000 people walking through the goddamn factory every day. It’s not a case of apples and oranges, Banyan Tree…those are at least both fruits. You’re comparing apples to a sack full of rabid wolverines.

        • These days you just can’t be paranoid enough. Remember, the US gov’t ADMITS to intercepting over a billion communications a day in order to “keep Americans safe”. If anybody suggested that 20 years ago, they’d be locked up in an insane asylum. Today’s batshit crazy paranoia is tomorrow’s “Yeah, so what?”

          And on the flip side, as the Kennedy Assignation files, Wiki-leaks dumps and a lifetime on the planet Earth will make it clear that the US government lies and covers shit up as its default position, even when THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON OR MOTIVE TO. They believe the public “needs to know” NOTHING about ANYTHING that the government does in their name. (See: Dick Cheney Energy Policy) Shit, according to Annie Jacobsen’s book even President Clinton didn’t “need to know” what went on in Area 51 and had stuff hidden from him.

          So, given that context, I’d be willing to entertain a halfway decent 9/11 conspiracy involving Osama, elements of his former employer, the CIA, and Canada’s country gentleman, Tommy Hunter, in an attempt to orchestrate a hostile takeover of Irving Oil.

        • Back in the early 80’s I roomed with Tommy Hunter’s nephew while in college.
          Wanted to post the lyrics from “Traveling Man” but can’t find them.
          And while I’ll probably be garroted in my sleep for telling you, every conspiracy during the 20th Century – every last one – was personally approved by Tommy Hunter. He’s behind EVERYTHING. If you dig far enough – from JFK to Archduke Ferdinand to Allende to “Maybe a dingo took your baby”…Hunter.

  2. You had me until you said Oswald didn’t get those shots off alone. There were three shots, all easy. All three came from the rear. Read “Case Closed,” or Bugliosi’s book.
    As for the Pentagon, a fucking plane hit it. There’s a jerky security tape of it. Why would the Pentagon employees blow themelves up? If plane #3 didn’t hit the Pentagon, where is it? Where are the passengers?
    As for plane #4, I llved just a few miles south of it. I saw the hole in the ground and a scattering of what was once a plane with my own eyes.
    There really was a conspiracy in Lincoln’s assassination – the conspirators were quickly rounded up and hanged. That’s it.
    You can’t call yourself a conspiracy skeptic and then go all Oliver Stone on us. Well, I guess you can, and you did. But it makes you sound like Donald Trump.

    • Back…and to the left. Back…and to the left.

      “Them fellers on the grassy knoll were in the ground three hours after Kennedy was shot”

      How do you know that?

      “How do I know? I still got the shovel!”

    • Uh, didn’t the Case Closed guy say there were 4 or more shots and that he was firing as Kennedy came around the corner? Or is that some other clown? Anyway, I agree that all the shots that came from the rear actually did come from the rear, except for the ones that came from the front. 😉

      Besides, the important point is that it’s not a conspiracy you HAVE to be crazy to believe. The official back story alone is just unbelievable, even if it’s true. I’m supposed to believe a motherfucking MILITARY DEFECTOR to the Soviet Union is allowed back into America with his Soviet wife, gets involved in very public political agitation and just walks the streets freely?Ethel Rosenberg was killed for less and I can’t send a motherfucking e-mail without the US government reading it.

      Oh, yeah and then he shoots the President in a one-in-a-million shooting and then dies in a way that never should have been possible. Just the statistical possibilities of the physical circumstances combined with the odds of a man like this acting completely alone makes it really hard to swallow.

      The important part is that, even IF Oswald acted COMPLETELY alone and had NO orders, support or advice, there was STILL a conspiracy to cover everything up and STICK TO THE OFFICIAL SCRIPT. Once a script is agreed upon, it must be maintained at all costs and anything that questions, qualifies, or sheds doubt upon that script must be ignored, discredited, destroyed, or buried until 50-60 years after it matters.

  3. I’ve spent quite a bit of time pondering the whole Trig/Sarah issue, and believe she did not give birth to the child. Too much wonkiness. No woman’s body can go from ‘barely showing’ to ‘full blown’ in a matter of days without killing her and the baby. Just not physically possible. There are sound physiological reasons why gestation in the human body takes the length of time it takes.
    The first time I listened to the woman I knew she was crazy, vicious, and a liar. She’s not changed my mind at all in the interim.

    • Someone should obtain a drool sample from that kid. A few hairs from Caribou Barbie’s brush.

      • That’s what I’m thinking. I believe the cuntbucket could probably manage a fake birth certificate but DNA? that would be the gotcha moment.
        She’s really been on an extra special rip the past few days too. Highly entertaining, although at this point I have to hit the mute button.

  4. I have a confession to make. Both of those baby bumps (Palin & Christina Ag)…well….they could very well be my fault.

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