Strong Huckabee poll numbers among Republicans simply means that the idiot Christian right still has massive pull within the party. Jesus, on the other hand, apparently looks further down the road and understands that people aren’t prepared to elect anyone who rather than rely on facts, evidence, history and wise counsel, clasps his hands together, closes his eyes, and asks a magical sky wizard what to do.
Oddly, it turns out that god commonly supports whatever the fuck one WANTED to do in the first place. In this case, avoiding a sound electoral thrashing after being forced to kiss ass from coast to coast was not something Jesus was prepared to inflict on good ol’ Mike Huck.
Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee announced late Saturday that – in a “spiritual” decision guided by his relationship with Christ – he will not seek the Republican nomination for president in 2012.
“All the factors say go, but my heart says no. And that’s the decision that I’ve made,” he announced at the end of his FOX News show.
The 2008 presidential candidate said that his final decision not to run — which he arrived at “late this week” — came in spite of donors’ enthusiasm and robust poll numbers even in states outside of his native South. He also noted that his wife and children have been supportive of a run.
“I don’t expect everyone to understand this, but I am a believer and a follower of Jesus Christ,” he said. “And that relationship is far more important to me than any political office. For me, the discussion and decision is not a political one, not a financial one. It’s not even a practical one. It’s a spiritual one.”
Yep. Jesus done tol’ me.
I suppose all those GOP fuckers who are trying to find some way…any fucking way…to unite the party behind ANYONE who might have a chance to oust the Kenyan Mao Mao colonialist commie negrah had nothing to do with it. Now if they can just find a way to keep Palin outta the pool, and get Bachmann to withdraw, and keep that Huntsman nobody from sucking the intellectual wind out of of Newt’s sails, and get Pawlenty a personality transplant, and defrothify Santorum.
Maybe they can talk Jesus into making personal calls on the whole fucking slate. He struck Saul blind on the road to Damascus…this should be easy.