Sarah Palin Lies

Every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth something ugly spills out. It disgusts me that there is anyone stupid enough to believe a single syllable…and it’s simply fucking frightening that there are, quite literally, millions of ignorant, imbecilic simpletons who think this two-faced, nine-headed, vicious, vacuous, hillbilly grifter ought to be president.

I’ve written about the stupidity, illiteracy, suspected mental illness, vacuity, racism, hatred and the multitude of lies that accumulate like fucking snow drifts in the blizzard of ignorant nonsense, misunderstood talking points and willfully blind word salads that passes for what Sarah Palin is convinced is just the right thing to say.

Recently Sarah was in Homer, Alaska. Never passing an opportunity to make herself look all down-to-earthy just like Real Americans who don’t have their own PAC, reality TV show, speaking engagements, private planes, Faux News commentary gig, and NYT best selling book (written by someone else), Sarah posted the following on her facebook page:

And here I am, thousands of miles away from DC out on a commercial fishing boat, working my butt off for my own business, merely asking the Democrat politicos and their liberal friends in the media: “What’s the plan, man?”, and they seem to feel threatened by my question. So, I’ll go back to setting my hooks and watching the halibut take the bait, and when I come back into the boat’s cabin in a few hours…

There are a bait bucket full of problems here. Firstly, the idea that Sarah Palin is “working my butt off for my own business” as if she is in the same position as the rest of the fishermen, for whom the difference between a good and bad week’s fishing is a mortgage payment or food on the table. She is paid disgusting amounts of money to yammer her imbecilic blithering shit, and the suggestion that she needs to bait hooks to make ends meet – to even HINT at such a thing – is disgusting.
Secondly, to whom did she direct the quoted question: “What’s the plan, man?”
While one easily accepts the premise that she is incapable of asking a more complex question without writing notes on her hand, the version of Sarah Palin being sold here is, ‘I’m jes’ askin’ the simple questions and they all cain’t even gimme an answer!”
She has no questions. She can’t name a fucking newspaper she reads or a USSC decision beyond Roe v. Wade. This stammering sack of shit merely lies again – even while out baiting hooks! – that she’s holding those evil gummint librul’s feet to the fire of righteous oversight.

Shannon Moore, writing at HuffPo raises a few more germane points, at least as far as Sarah’s own business is concerned:

Strange. The Palin’s fishing business doesn’t include IFQ’s (Individual Fishing Quotas) necessary for commercially harvesting halibut. Her baiting hooks and keeping a manicure is laughable. Halibut are on the bottom of the ocean, hard to watch them “take the bait”. I hope she’s got a crew license.

Given Sarah’s proven contempt for following regulations and laws; her sneering “I can do what I want” attitude, it would not surprise me in the least to find her illegally taking Halibut. Or, perhaps she and the ex-first dude are merely fishing to stock their own freezer. But she DID say she was out on a COMMERCIAL fishing boat, working her butt off for her own BUSINESS, didn’t she?
As with so much of Sarah Palin, she is at odds with herself. One need not turn to the evidence – and there’s plenty enough of that – to demonstrate that she’s either a crook or a liar…her own words convict her. Frankly, I see no reason to choose between the two outcomes.

And it gets better.
A local teacher, Kathleen Gustafson, herself the wife of a commercial fisherman, hung a 30-foot banner along the dock that read, “WORST GOVERNOR EVER”.

If it’s one thing Sarah Palin can’t stand, it’s public criticism. She wanted to confront the woman who would hang such a sign while she’s filming her reality TV show. The clip is beautiful.


Palin: like how? What’s up?

Kathleen: You swore on your precious Bible that you would uphold the interests of this state, and then when cash was waved in front of your face, you quit.

Palin: OH, you WANTED me to be your governor! I’m honored! Thank you!

Kathleen: I wanted you to honor your responsibilities. That is what I wanted. I wanted you to be part of the political process instead of becoming a celebrity so that you could (inaudible). And if that’s the best you could do, then good for you. If that’s the best you could do.

Palin: Here’s the deal. Here’s the deal. (inaudible) That’s what I’m out there fightin’ for Americans to be able to have a Constitution protected so that we can have free speech…And ALSO there…

Kathleen: In what way are you fighting for that?

Palin: Oh my goodness!

Kathleen: In what way?

Palin: To elect candidates who understand the Constitution, to protect our military interests so that we can keep on fightin’ for our constitution that will protect some of the freedoms that evidently are important to you too.

Kathleen: By using your celebrity status, certainly not by political status.

Palin Daughter: How is she a celebrity? That’s my question.

Palin: I’m honored! No, she thinks I’m a celebrity!

Palin Daughter: That’s funny that you think she is.

Kathleen: Well, you’re certainly not representing the state of Alaska any longer…even though…

Palin Daughter: She’s representing United States!

Kathleen: Yes, I know. You belong to America now, and that suits me just fine. Yeah.

Palin: What do you do here?

Kathleen: I’m a teacher

Palin: Oh. (Eye roll and protracted grimace)

Palin Daughter: Oh.

Kathleen: I also have a few other jobs. I’m married to a commercial fisherman. And so I fish.

Palin: Oh that’s cool. So am I! I married to-we probably have a lot in common!

Kathleen: Yeah. You know, I think that we do.

Palin: Hi! (waves to camera) Are we on video?

Kathleen: Too bad. I’m more of a still camera girl myself. (inaudible) I am, I am…I will tell you I’m very pleased to meet you.

Palin: I’m honored to meet you, I really am. And, no we both agree on the freedom of speech and the-

Kathleen: Yes we do.

Palin: you know – the protection of that. So, um, no I and, you know… best of everything to you too and Yeah.

Kathleen: Thank you for coming over.

Palin: Well, okay. It’s nice to meet you anyway.

The video has gone viral, and the blogosphere has ignited with commentary about the smug, arrogant, eye-rolling condescension from Sarah and her gang of hillbillies and handlers.
Sarah has already responded:

The LSM has now decided to use this brief encounter for another one of their spin operations. They claim I – wait for it – “appear to roll my eyes” when the lady tells me she’s a teacher. Yes, it’s come to this: the media is now trying to turn my eyebrow movements into story lines. (Maybe that’s why Botox is all the rage – if you can’t move your eyebrows, your “eye rolling” can’t be misinterpreted!) If they had checked their facts first, they would have known that I come from a family of teachers; my grandparents were teachers, my father was a teacher, my brother is a teacher, my sister works in Special Needs classrooms, my aunt is a school nurse, my mom worked as a school secretary for much of her professional life, we all volunteer in classrooms, etc., etc., etc. Given that family history, how likely is it that I would “roll my eyes” at someone telling me that they too work in that honorable profession? Stay classy, LSM.

While filming the Alaska documentary in Homer, I had a brief discussion with a local lady who, in typical Alaska style, decided to give me her two cents worth about my political leanings, American politics in general, and much else besides. It’s what makes our politics so uniquely democratic: two people discussing the things they care about, even though they respectfully disagree about just about everything (you can watch a brief video of the encounter here).

For anyone, Sarah included, who wants to suggest she did not roll her eyes in perhaps the most condescending gesture ever seen, go watch the video again.
But, once again, the difference between what Sarah said then and what she says now is simply far too dramatic. It may only be resolved by answering a very simply question: Was she lying then or is she lying now.
Again, I see no need to choose between the two options.

From the transcript/video:

“Oh, you WANTED me to be your governor!”

Sarah Palin has just approached a woman who is standing in front of a sign that reads, “WORST GOVERNOR EVER!”

Take your pick: Sarah Palin is expressing a contemptible degree of juvenile sarcasm, or Sarah Palin is too fucking stupid to read.

From the transcript/video:

Kathleen: By using your celebrity status, certainly not by political status.

Palin Daughter: How is she a celebrity? That’s my question.

Palin: I’m honored! No, she thinks I’m a celebrity!

Palin Daughter: That’s funny that you think she is.

She’s got a Faux News gig, a reality TV show, she just went camping with Kate Gosselin, her ghost-written books are sold to millions of infatuated imbeciles by plastering her winky face on the cover, she pulls down $100,000 speaking fees, and, when she deigns to actually autograph one of the books she didn’t write for one of her yokel fans, they have to PAY for the privilege AND PAY EXTRA if they want a fucking photo…and she has the nerve to suggest that she’s honored to be thought of as a celebrity, the implication being that she certainly doesn’t see herself that way.
Does she really think that she’s not? Does her daughter? Are these fucking con artists SO committed to selling her image as just one of the regular folks that they cannot even admit to THAT?
What horseshit. The stunning ignorance required to play such a poorly constructed bit of phony shit as a facade is insulting.

And, of course, it gets better (or, if you’re Palin, worse). From Sarah’s response:

…decided to give me her two cents worth about my political leanings, American politics in general, and much else besides. It’s what makes our politics so uniquely democratic: two people discussing the things they care about, even though they respectfully disagree about just about everything…

In what sort of inverted universe does Sarah Palin reside?
Mrs. Gustafson did NOT give Palin her two cents worth about Palin’s political leanings, or American politics in general, or ANYTHING else except Palin’s quitting, and her greedy, shallow cash grab. The only thing about which it can safely be said they disagree, one would suspect, is their opinion of Palin as governor of Alaska. Mrs. Gustafson didn’t express opinions on anything else, she simply asked questions – which, true to form, Palin failed to answer in a blithering stream of hot-button terms, garbled talking points and nonsensical word salad.

Palin’s lame, lying attempt to spin her shitty attitude, phony regular folk airs, failure as governor, failure as a mother and general waste of time as some sort of media conspiracy to make her LOOK bad is only further proof – as if more were needed – that she really is a bitter, vicious, narcissistic, vengeful bitch with no moral compass whatsoever.

I close as I opened:

Every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth something ugly spills out. It disgusts me that there is anyone stupid enough to believe a single syllable…and it’s simply fucking frightening that there are, quite literally, millions of ignorant, imbecilic simpletons who think this two-faced, nine-headed, vicious, vacuous, hillbilly grifter ought to be president.


15 Responses

  1. Best article ever.

  2. I just read “Palinisms,” a little paperback not really worth the $10, except for the introduction. Jacob Weisberg correctly notes that listening to Palin answer a difficult question (like, “can you name a newspaper?”) is like watching a kid in school bluff his way through material he doesn’t know, rather than just saying “I don’t know.”
    In other words, the woman is simply a bullshit artist.

  3. What the fuck is LSM?

    • Lamestream Media. She invented the term…thinks it clever.

      • I thought it might be: Loose Slutty Morons, Laughing Socialist Meanies, or the London Snooker Mission.

        Actually, the term is probably the truest, most intelligent, thing to ever exit her mouth. Therefore, there is NO way she invented it. (I’ve heard before somewhere.) Keeping in character, she has to butcher it and try to make herself even “hipper” by shortening it to 3 letters like all the other “kewl”, illiterate, people are doing.

        Fuck, I hate when people do that!

  4. Eye roll or not, there was certainly a pause that seemed like contempt. That pause was filled by the other woman who felt like she had to talk about her other job to measure up. Clearly, she felt that the reaction to her first job was contempt and that she needed to bump her resume.

    That’s why her Look-At-Me-Book ghost writer had to concentrate on the teacher lineage, careful not to neglect mentioning her special needs sprog.

    Speaking of her sprog, to be fair, I won’t critizie Dragstrip Palin for her appearance in this debacle. (Who shot this and who were the clowns trying to block the camera?) She’s just another stupid teenage whore who’s mom -despite being a celebrity- will always just be the bitch who tells her to clean her room, even if she inherits Oprah’s position or gets a 24hr TV channel dedicated to her. The problem is that Palin doesn’t seem to recognize herself as a celebrity. She still thinks she’s a hockey mom on a crusade.

    What is lost behind the blithering stupidity is why Fargo Barbie is going to do disturbingly well as a candidate for President, despite her complete lack of qualifications and complete stupidity. She can walk onto the property of person hanging up a sign declaring her the “Worst Governor Ever” and blather her into submission. Her aggressive folky-ism, judo chopping hand gestures, and amazing powers of confusion allowed Palin to bob & weave her way into declaring they have “a lot in common”. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Fargo Barbie walked away thinking she had at least redered a member of her opposition a “neutral”.

    To nearly all thinking people, this was an embarrassment. But what those thinking people are missing is that they are NOT her target audience. They are the enemy of the people she seeks to lead. Her target is the dim-witted, the folksy, and the Real America:

    Real Americans who love their constitution, even when they don’t know what’s in it. Real Americans who stand with American troops who fight for our Freedom, even when they aren’t. Real Americans who love their rights, even when they don’t understand them, appreciate the rights of others, or don’t even recognize an attack upon their rights. Real Americans who cheer attacks on elites and celebrity, even when coming from an elitist celebrity.

    Fargo Barbie’s lack of qualification and lack of intelligence are strengths, not weaknesses. She’s just the All-American girl next door. She is incredibly adept at using meaningless symbols as camouflage and stunning her victims with charm. Once again, she can even make it appear to some watching that she has a lot in common with somebody hanging a sign declaring her the “worst ever”. This kind of turd-polishing skill can take you places.

  5. I just love the way this is going. Polls still show Palin at the head of the pack for the GOP nomination in 2012.
    She won’t be able to completely dodge debates with Obama. That gives me such a warm feeling, you betcha. I guess she’ll wink and bullshit her way through it, then assume she won.
    I can’t wait.

    • Be careful what you wish for. If she is still in the hunt after Iowa & New Hampshire, her momentum will probably just grow until she crashes into the White House.

      NEVER, NEVER underestimate the stupidity of the American public. They choose based upon the stupidest of reasoning. They will place likability over capability and personality over policy any day.

      Obama could easily wipe the floor with her in a debate, but that would only gain her sympathy votes.

      “That big, bad, meanie with a Harvard brain stomped all over poor, defenceless Sarah. I’m voting for her.”

      Remember, everybody ALREADY knows her greatest fault, how stupid she is. Yet, look at how much support she has despite this. Unless somebody can dig up something new and nasty, (say, a lesbian affair that led to an abortion) there just isn’t anything left to discover that will hurt her. Her support will not fade.

      No, I fear only another Republican can beat her. Only nasty Republican infighting, or a top shelf candidate who could beat Obama, will stop her. If she makes the finals uninjured, there is VERY good chance she’ll win.

      I suspect the next Presidential campaign will be decided in the elections this fall.

      • You have every reason to be worried about Palin running in 2012. I’m concerned that she might have just enough support to make her a viable candidate, and if she makes it to public office, woe to the world.

  6. But.. but… she’s a momma grizzly, see? She’ll protect us!
    Nope, I stand by my prediction: If the Rethugs are stupid enough to nominate her, she will be obliged to engage in at least a couple of debates with Obama.
    Obama: Very good at debates, smart.
    Palin: Transparently moronic in debates: stupid.
    I realize some people will declare her the winner, but those people would hever vote for a secret Muslim nigger socialist nazi anyway.

  7. Palin is a moron, go home grifter caribou Barbie!

  8. Thanks for reminding me what a frightening menace
    this crazy woman is

  9. Thank you for reminding me what a crazy problem this woman is

  10. The reaction to her being a teacher is interesting because it’s not at all what I would’ve expected: considering Sarah Palin’s usual (on-camera) style, I thought she would try to pounce on it in a POSITIVE way. Reacting negatively displays a level of vindictiveness and immaturity that she usually hides a little bit better. As for interpreting the reaction…it could simply be that she wanted to belittle the woman out of spite, but it could also be partially that she felt a sudden chill go down her spine as she realized, “OMG! There’s a teacher in Alaska who doesn’t like me and might influence Alaskan children to dislike me, too! My legacy could be tarnished, even here in ‘Real America’!”

    I feel a little silly spending any amount of time attempting to INTERPRET Sarah Palin, but you know, it’s kind of like seeing a gorilla who’s learned a little sign language: part of you wants to believe there’s a human-like mind in there trying to express well-reasoned thoughts!

    Anyway, as a final note, the other part that really got me was the “Oh my goodness!” reaction to the woman’s perfectly reasonable question, “In what way are you fighting for [our Constitution, etc.]?” You could see the “I want to slap you right now!” written all over her face, along with incredulity that ANYONE would dare question her in this way or wouldn’t clearly see how much she’s obviously helping America. Her arrogance is incredible.

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