Breaking News! Top Story!

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5 Responses

  1. I give her 5 more years before she

    a.) kills herself in a drunk driving accident

    b.) OD’s on some pharmarceuticals

    or

    c.) drops to “latest film is direct-to-DVD” status

    • That you’re even talking about “her” is the shame.

      Although your death pool dreams may come true sooner than you think. Twitter (so I hear – I don’t tweet) is running rampant with LOHAN IS DEAD bits.

  2. I’d never even heard of this train wreck until she started showing up, or rather failing to show up, for court for some silly drunk driving shit.
    There seems to be about a half-dozen of these drug-addled spoiled rich girls staggering around over the last couple of years.
    I’ve never seen any of them actually do anything, like, I don’t know, sing, dance, act, balance a ball on her nose.
    Why wouldn’t a zillionaire with a fondness for club-hopping simply hire a driver? Let him get the damn DUI.

  3. The idea that this is a “news” story is offensive in its own right. The idea that this is the TOP STORY makes me want to projectile vomit. This non-story actually made my local TV staion’s News Update package, as if the urine of an actressif was somehow the most important thing that happened that day.

    Nothing an actress does is remotely newsorthy, short of robbing a bank and killng 20 people. Even then, it shouldn’t be the lead story anywhere outside of local LA TV stations.

    Wow, a actress fails a urine test! Somebody alert NATO!

    “This just in, Willie the Hobo fails urine test. More at eleven.”

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