Sensitive Dykes

For FUCK sakes. I would have bet money Canada was beyond relitigating the same shit that drove Lenny Bruce around the bend 50 fucking years ago.
Apparently, during a comedy show, a couple of lesbians were sitting close to the stage, rather loud, and would not be silenced. Frankly, I don’t care if they were quiet and minding their own business.
In either case, the MC went at them. He says they were loud yammering hecklers. They say they were targeted because they’re dykes. A complaint before the Human Rights Commission is pending.
The lawyer for the carpet munchers says there’s a line that even comedians may not cross; that some people are immune from being slapped by a comedian at a comedy show.
Wrong, Matlock. Just fucking wrong.
You don’t want to be spattered with stage blood? Don’t take the front row at an Alice Cooper concert.
You don’t want to be run over by a speeding car? Don’t stand at the edge of a rally race.
You don’t want your absolute, unfettered right not to be disrespected in public trampled? Stay the lifting fuck away from a comedy show. And if you decide to attend, AND to sit up front, AND to open your mouth like some attention starved heckler…just remember that the professional on stage does this shit for a living.
Amputees, victims of child sexual abuse, retards, WOPS, Kikes and niggers…in the hands of a COMEDIAN there is no safe harbour, you thin skinned butchies.
What the fuck?
What. The. FUCK??
What becomes of us when we finally say to people who offend for a living, and in so doing expose our deepest hypocrisies, that there are certain things you may not say?
Fuck you, dykes. Get your lesbian pee-flaps in the kitchen and make me a fucking sammich.
Fuck health care. You even TRY to make Louis CK refuse a single word, it’s fucking WAR.

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13 Responses

  1. Did you catch that this happened in ’07? That the Supreme Court questioned the tribunal’s jurisdiction? That the tribunal determined that they would have a full hearing, THEN determine if they had jurisdiction? WTF? I’ve been an attorney for 28 years, the last six as a full time magistrate. This is bassackwards. Yesterday the atty for the comedian walked out of the hearing and refused to participate. He will probably go back to Supreme for some type of ruling on jurisdiction, or a request for Canada’s version of a writ of Prohibition. Gonna be an interesting finale, and far more important than the media coverage indicates. Any decision for the biter, will most assuredly result in the future chilling of free speech.
    http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=2741347&p=1

    • Fuck it, m’Lord! We sort out jurisdiction after I award damages to these representatives of a protected class, their membership therein to be confirmed by the presentation and admission of viva voce carpet munching. If you want to overturn the judgment later, you go right ahead…but we damn well gonna present that evidence!

    • Who cares about jurisdiction? It’s all about racking up those billable hours, even if the results of those hours get rendered completely meaningless at a later date.

      Fucking lawyers always manage to get paid.

      • Sometimes, you know, lawyers have to sue people just to get the money they earned suing people.
        It’s a vicious circle, man. Have some fuckin’ sympathy.

        • FRANKly speaking, if there’s one group of people I stay awake at night worrying about their well being, it’s those arse creeping legalists.

        • Frank by name, Frank by nature.
          You know I went to law school, eh? I escaped, though. Not unscathed.

        • I’m also seem to recall reading about you (fleeing the country?) in an edition of Frank. But short of combing through my 10+ year stockpile of Central Canada Frank, I have nothing but my fading memory to go on. Something to do with that Stronach boning dude, if I recall. I’d like to park my car in Belinda’s garage too.

          Canadian News Update: Her old man re-announced his re-retirement yesterday.

          Was it the Magna Cum Lauder edition maybe?

        • The Central Canadian Frank? WTF you talkin’ ’bout, Willis? Frank (by name and nature), at least to those in the know, is (like all good things) an Atlantic Canadian product.

  2. While I dig lesbians, especially the “fun kind”, I’ve got to rule against them on this one.

    The first rule of comedy is not to be in the front row, period. Anybody in the front row has a reasonable expectation of being ridiculed. It’s like sitting in the Splash Zone at Sea World and complaining about getting spritzed.

    While the comic’s action is -or at least should be- covered by a comedian’s right to self-expression, the guy (pun intended) was also the MC. That carries with it more responsibility than just a comic. He must set the stage for the acts he introduces. The audience has to be ready to laugh. It’s a tough job with a tough crowd. If that means bitch slapping unruly guests into behaving, then do that he must.

    Since he’s not a bouncer, (and just where was the bouncer?) all he can do is go after them verbally. Since they were aggressively flaunting their lesbianism in a way that was harming the show, it’s acceptable for him to attack them for it. If I were using my German ancestry to break up the show, it would be appropriate for him to make Nazi/Jew Killer insults.

    All comedy comes directly or indirectly at somebody else’s expense. So unless we want to live in a society where nobody ever laughs, which we are inching towards, this should not be taken to court. Everybody wants to sue everybody for everything these days. Bunch of fucking pussies! Er…

    I think the lesbians may actually have a better case against the club for not tossing them out sooner, before somebody instigated a predictable “hate crime” against them. Kicking them out would only deprived them of a show they weren’t enjoying anyway. Quite frankly, that’s what the club should have done. They’re suing the wrong guy.

    Now, if a bunch of lesbians was heckling and making out in the front row in order to ruin a show where I was MC, I’d probably drop my pants and start jerking the chicken until they left, or until I came.

    Thank you. Enjoy the veal!

  3. As far as I can tell, this trial took place in April of 2010, and no decision has been rendered yet. I get 60 days from the last submission to issue a decision. Is this delay normal for Canada, or is it the result of the fact that the tribunal itself seems to be just a tad fucked up?

    • Not a “Trial” – only a hearing. Could be lots of reasons for delay – some sort of motion and appeal therefrom; application to a court to sort out jurisdiction holding things up. Just speculating.

    • Plastic decomposes faster than anything run by lawyers.

      I have a (What is it?) 6 year old lawsuit against me that will probably go on for another 6 before getting to trial.

  4. I get that litigation takes forever, but a full fucking year for the decision after such a highly publicized and divisive trial, with no attendant coverage of the time lapse confuses the shit out of me.

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