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Meet the Palins

Fresh off one of the dumbest fucking interviews conducted since that other beauty pageant contestant yammered about maps and such as, Sarah Palin went shopping. That is, she’s shopping around an idea for – wait for it – a reality TV show starring her family about Alaska. Imagine Northern Exposure with less charm and more moose; Heidi Montag as Sarah’s new BFF. Trig Palin will play himself.

While appearing with Leno on the Tonight Show, Palin went the extra yard to show the world that she’s still the most stubbornly ignorant imbecile to ever pretend a thought.

I studied journalism, my college degree there in communications. And now I am back there wanting to build some trust back in our media. I think the mainstream media is quite broken and I think there needs to be the fairness, the balance in there — that’s why I joined Fox. Fair and balanced, yes. You know because, Jay, those years ago that I studied journalism it was all about the who, what, when, where, and why, it was not so much the opinion interjected in hard news stories. As long as there is not the opinion under the guise of hard news stories — I think there needs to be clear differentiation.

Leno is a pandering dick. Vapid crap like this – spoon feeding idiocy in the face of imbecilic bullshit – reminds me of why I prefer Letterman. From a whacked out Crispin Glover to a drugged up Farrah Fawcett to a combative Bill O’Reilly, Dave just would never let a guest get away with a twisted claim like, “I joined Fox News because I think the media needs to be more fair and balanced.”

Sarah also complained that she has no opportunity to get the truth out to the people. Speaking about the recent Family Guy / Retard controversy, Sarah whined that a lie can travel half-way around the world before the truth gets its pants on; that because of the nature of today’s mediums (sic), it’s so very difficult for her to get her side of the story – which is, of course, the truth…the real truth…’cause only she knows the real truth – out to the real Americans.
Yeah. Right.
Sarah has no opportunity to appear on Fox News, or to have someone ghost write another Facebook post, or to appear on any – ANY – news program just by showing up.
Having just toured the country flogging a book full of lies that was a thinly veiled…okay, blatant…bit of vengeful revisionist herstory; having just had Fox News construct her very own studio IN HER HOME in Alaska to facilitate her “commentary and analysis”; sucking down $100,000 fees to speak at anything from a Teabagger convention to the College of the Ozarks, poor media victim Sarah Palin has no opportunity to say what’s on her bitter, hallucinating, tiny little mind.

I have an idea how the reality show can end each week. After saying their nightly prayers – “Lord, smite those who think Mommy is stupid” – and climbing into bed, the Palins can call out to one another in the dark like The Waltons:

Good night, Willow.
Night Mommy.
Good night, Track.
Good night, Mother.
‘Night, Piper, night Bristol.
(in unison) Night, Mom.
Good night, Former First Dude.
Zzzzzzzz.
‘Nighty-night, Trig.
Blrrrggaaah.

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10 Responses

  1. At least with the Osbornes, you could explain any stupidity on the drugs. Although, Ozzy seems far more intelligent than Sarah.

    • I’ve never seen The Osbornes. I’m aware of the program, but after Ozzy’s solo Crazy Train, he dropped off my radar.
      Have you ever seen The Waltons?

  2. You have no idea how much I want to hunt down every Reality TV show producer and torture them to death the way they’ve been torturing me for years.

    This just gives me more even more reason to.

  3. Cousinavi, I was voted off this godforsaken shit-hole of an island a long time ago and am increasingly reminded of that fact. It is getting harder every day for me to ignore it.

    But as for Palin, she talked a good game about the media and opinion, but how is she going to help to reduce the oversupply of opinion by appearing on FOX Noise from her Alaska studio? Wake me up when she’s standing in front of an African village interviewing struggling farmers.

    That’s a great point about Leno. He almost always blows his quests no matter what they’re pushing and he never strays from the herd. For a guy with such a strong chin, he’s really afraid to go into the corners or drop the gloves. Letterman is not afraid to look bad. He doesn’t always call “bullshit” on people, but he usually doesn’t even have to speak for the audience to know when he has contempt for somebody.

    So where does a Sarah Palin go to spew shit to a large audience unchallenged? To Leno. Who does she attack from a safe distance by claiming HE victimized HER? Letterman.

    Bring back Conan!

  4. I thought I read somewhere that Trig in a wig would play Sarah, for the sake of accuracy…

    • Zirgar! Pop over to VNV and have a peek at the recent comments from The Mad Jewess. I’ve caught me a crazy!

  5. haha, yea, being called a “moon bat” by this peach is a real honor.

  6. I have, they made my stomach churn and I threw up a little in my mouth…but avi,I have a few more words to add to the list of words I (can’t say) would Love to say to this crazy bitch….

    The Mad Jewess can go under C for the obvious, Cunt…..comical, also, for Crazy, I mean, fucking coo coo crazy,,,also Castrating, ….creepy, controling, ,,mommy and daddy obviously didn’t keep her chained in the basement long enough…
    J for Jewess, Jizz stain, junk juggler,…
    T for completely Tragic, ..tea bagger (although I doubt she’s seen that kind of action for a long, long time if EVER!!) she could probably do with some balls slapping on her face….
    B for Boring, Blithering, Bitch!
    A for Attention seeking whore…(typical for a right wing troll)
    W, for Who gives a fuck about this stupid Whore?
    I for Ironic, as in as a “TeaBagger” she probably doesn’t know what “teabagging” means.
    M. for “Moon Bat” !! haha, I mean, who the fuck calls someone “Moon Bat” ??!! Fucking hysterical!
    P. is for soon to be Pwned…..this bat shit crazy bitch is going to get her fucking ass PWNed by cousinavi. After cousinavi is done with this crazy bitch, she’s going to wish she had balls slapping her in the face. I look forward to reading the carnage.

    Sarah Palin and now Jewess, just one more crazy, rightwinger nut job that I would love to be on the death panel of,,,,,ahh, um, I mean, ,,if death panels existed,,,,shhh don’t tell the moon bat.

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