Sarah Palin – Hypocritical, Lying, Brainless Fuckwit

The elevation of Sarah Palin, a brainless, divisive, prevaricating, ignorant, poorly educated, backwater hillbilly fuckwit, to nominal celebutard leader of an astro-turf gang of sound bite gobbling, fact denying, mostly racist, self-described patriots is a sure sign that the idea of America has been bent over a barrel and fucked up the ass by the supporting cast of Deliverance.

At the recent Tea Party convention in Nashville, the true depth and breadth of Palin’s devotion to saying anything to spark a guffaw from a bunch of retarded, obstructionist fuckwits was made manifest, as was her utter inability to either hold or express anything like a core principal.

As if her garbled responses to the simplest questions during her vacuous and futile campaign for vice president weren’t enough evidence:

In response to a question on whether she agreed with the Bush Doctrine of preemptive war: “In what respect, Charlie?”

In response to a simple question about what she reads to stay informed: “I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press for the media, I mean…Um, all of ‘em, any of ‘em that um have been in front of me over all these years, um…”

On the role of the vice president: “[T]hey’re in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom.”

On the numerous charges of ethical misconduct leveled against her: “I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we’ve been charged with and automatically throw them out.” (There is no Department of Law).

On the $700 Billion dollar bailout of Wall Street: “But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy.”

On being nominated for vice president: “As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?”

As if these gaffes – blatant evidence that this blithering twit does not and cannot think, knows almost nothing, yet believes (in true beauty pageant contestant fashion) that if she just keeps yammering and includes enough keywords…family, faith, patriot…and finishes with a stylish wink and heartfelt “You betcha!” she’ll be fine – weren’t enough to send her packing back to Alaska smothered in tar, feathers and shame, Sarah Palin has bet it all on stupid and appears determined to let it ride.

In her yammering string of nonsense in Nashville, Palin attacked the president for using a teleprompter. Apparently Sarah has head her head buried so far up her ass, a few simple facts managed to escape her (along with all the complex and difficult facts):

Sarah, however, doesn’t bother with a teleprompter. She’s so erudite and well-spoken, possesses such command of history, facts and figures that she needs no notes (as demonstrated from her quotes above) to deliver her particular brand of genius. Here’s how Sarah Palin remembers what she wants to say:

Budget Tax Cuts
Lift American Spirits!

What the lifting fucked up Jesus on skis is that? She needs crib notes to remember that she wants to talk about energy? Of course, McCain touted her as one of America’s leading experts on energy, after which she proceeded to assert that Alaska produces 20% of America’s energy (the true figure is about 3.5%). Fungible molecules!
She wants budget cuts…no, wait…TAX cuts! Can you imagine a discussion with this yammering fuckwit about the budget? Tax cuts – only the rooster call talking point of every fuckhead conservatard since ever…but Sarah needs to have it written on her hand.
Lift American Spirits. Motherhood and apple pie, eh? We just all need a good ol’ shot in the arm, a go git’er, and a you betcha.

This six-years to obtain a four-year degree imbecile has the nerve to attack the most educated, intelligent, capable president since Eisenhower, saying, “We need a Commander in Chief, not a law professor standing at a lectern,” and, “How’s that hopey-changey stuff workin’ out for ya?”
Yammering, sarcastic, condescending horseshit from the mouth of a blithering coont too stupid to realize that Obama just recently finished eviscerating the very same bullshit talking points, without a teleprompter, at the GOP’s own meeting.

It sickens me to see this incompetent, stupid, functionally illiterate, untraveled, backwater hick shit-for-brains beauty pageant freakshow being paid $100,000 to spout her slimy, ignorant crap to people too stupid to realize that they’re the problem, not the solution.
She has no core principles, no ideas, no solutions – nothing to offer except a smile, a wink and someone else’s critique of the man who thrashed the living shit out of her and her senile patron at the polls.

One minute she wants Rahm Emanuel fired for calling an idea retarded, the next she’s bending over and grabbing her ankles to explain how it’s perfectly okay for Rush Limbaugh to call people retarded. Cue the prop mongoloid baby!

Will she run in 2012? Cue coy smile and wink. She won’t close any doors that god might open for her in the future. Perhaps, by that time, she’ll be able to remember Joe Biden’s name and won’t have to resort to, “Can I call ya Joe?” to cover up the stunning depth of her ignorance.

Anyone who thinks Sarah Palin has anything to offer the future except material for comedians and the threat of doom by stupidity ought to be dragged out behind the barn and shot for being a threat to humanity due to sheer brainlessness.


17 Responses

  1. Hey, that toothless guy in Deliverance was my brother! He’s also my father, but of course I was born in West Virginia.
    Notice she pronounces it “nuke-you-lar,” just like W?
    The sure sounded like a campaign speech to me. Does she not understand that she’ll be expected to debate that silly “law professor” if she gets the nomination? That will be like Mike Tyson vs. a baby seal. I can’t fucking wait.
    Also, did you notice she blew a kiss to someone in the audience? I briefly threw up in my own mouth. I usually try to throw up in someone else’s mouth, but there was no time. There are evil, vicious times ahead, my friend.

  2. Palin’s success is America’s failure.

    How somebody this unapologetically stupid can gain such traction is one for the history books, assuming our society lasts long enough to write it down because she is certainly a clear sign the End Times are near.

    How can anybody treat this woman seriously anymore? She’s pretty and she’s folksy and she is very skilled at using those traits. So I see how she can fool some of the people, some of the time. But how long does it take to see through her game and realize that she is a completely empty shell?

    How long does it take to realize that, outside of that golly-gee-shucks-you-betcha wrapping, she is at best your common, garden variety, Republican…only with less than a quarter the intelligence, ability and imagination. Other than the stupid hillbilly wisecracks, literally nothing I’ve heard or seen from her is in any way different from what Republicans have been proposing for decades. She doesn’t really even prioritize those policies differently.

    But I think she doesn’t even rise to the very low standard of what you can expect from a politician. I think she’s no more than just another fame whore. The only policy that actually seems to matter to her is her own fame. Politics is just how she managed to get on camera. Maybe she figured there was less competition in the Looks Department and that the political cameras would flock to her faster than the Hollywood ones.

    How can people pay this woman $100,000 to speak? I don’t think anybody deserves even half of that money to flap their jowls. But It boggles the mind how somebody could pay that kind of money to this stupid cunt when they could pay the Octo-mom or one of the Desperate Housewives to come and address their convention? They’re probably just as likely to say something meaningful.

    It would be cheaper and more beneficial to pay enough hookers to fuck every delegate at the Teabagger Convention. It’s pretty obvious, they could use it.

    Is Sarah Palin some kind of Andy Kauffman prank? Is she the new Tony Clifton? Am I missing the joke?

  3. Not only is she unapologeticaly stupid, Grasshopper, she is fucking *proudly* stupid.
    She is tapping deep into that vein of American anti-intellectualism where having ever read a book is considered evidence of treason.
    She dismisses her opponents as educated “elites,” as if having less intelligent leaders would be a step in the right direction. It’s time for an idiot in the White House, and she’s just the woman for the job, you betcha.
    The Teabaggers seem to have forgotten we already tried that, with disastrous results. Or maybe Dubya just wasn’t quite stupid enough.
    To borrow a phrase from “Tropic Thunder,” maybe she thinks it’s time to go “full retard.”
    Imagine what kind of brain damage it must take to think you’re insulting a man by pointing out he was once a “professor of law.”
    And her idiot minions howled with delight, probably because most of them don’t know what a professor of law is. Some kind of commie, no doubt.

  4. And it seems that is her big ticket item, “Hi. I’m as stupid as you are…and proud of it”

    This is enough to get you a job at FOX and get paid $100,000 for speeches. It’s all entertainment value I guess. She stands up there, acts stupid, gets a few yucks from the stupid who sympathize with her…..

    I guess her TRUE role in politics is to be Sarah The Cable Barbie.

  5. Just thought of this…but It is also pretty weird seeing this perky bimbo address a group that is essentially the angriest mob in America. I know she’s nasty on the inside, but it’s still odd that such angry people dig her. It would be like Cousinavi getting Sally Field circa The Flying Nun to represent this website.

  6. Whose habit? Yours or the nun’s? Wait a minute, I think I get it.

  7. Writing notes on her hand is a new low, especially considering how utterly simple the notes were. Three simple talking points, and she couldn’t keep them in her memory for a full hour? (AND she has the gall to make a teleprompter joke?) I knew she was stupid, but I honestly didn’t think she was THAT stupid. But she never ceases to amaze us, does she? I suggest sending her immediately to a neuroscience lab…although in her case, the brain damage might be so widespread and severe that no useful data can be obtained.

  8. Here’s O’Reilly showing his love for teleprompters:

  9. Holy hell! Thanks for sharing that vid Chris, shit is PRICELESS.
    Aparently being a republican puppet requires you to have your imagination removed to make room for the hand.

    I found this page by googleing “sarah palin is a fuckwit”

    Sweet zombie jesus, i don’t normaly wish specific harm against any politician, regardless of my hatred for them, but every time I see that ugly cunt on TV or hear that grating nails-on-chalkboard voice of hers my hands clasp together in a strangling motion, by reflex.
    Now she’s gonna be showing up on the Discovery Channel? One of the only channels left that tries to teach people things? And she’s getting a MILLION DOLLARS PER EPISODE?!?!?!
    Ah who cares about that epic waste of currency, it’s not like there are thousands of americans LIVING IN FUCKING TENT CITIES AROUND THE COUNRTY.
    I’ve never in my life wanted to raise my hand at a woman, not even my shoe-throwing mother, because it goes against my personal principals. But every time I see Palin, I just want to start punching and not stop.

    How in the name of all that is unholy did this women EVER get famous? The bitch couldn’t even finish ONE FUCKING TERM AS GOVERNOR! OF ALASKA AT THAT!

    I hope she falls face first into a wood chipper.

  10. Steve, I think you’re missing the point. And little john get this – the american people love a simple solution because decades of big plans from business fatcats and smart politicians have only stumbled the country into war after war and a bigger debt than King Kong. Thats why they want to embrace a simpleton like Sarah. Could she really make things any worse? Think about it.. .

    • If you think Palin couldn’t make things any worse, you have no imagination.

    • Everyone knows that a 3rd Bush term would have left the country much worse than the first two did. At BEST, a Palin Presidency would be slightly worse than a 3rd Bush term.
      Palin, at the VERY least, would have policies just as bad as Bush’s and she would also be at least as stupid and incompetent as Bush.

      And that’s the best case scenario. So, yeah, things CAN get much worse…and probably will.

  11. Actually, you are right, what was I thinking!! The GOP are definitely on a mission to bankrupt the US Government. The latest proposed tax cuts for the rich must be the final proof of that. It will never get thru but what band of morons would even propose it? Joe Barton.. .??

  12. Don’t hold back Cousinavi, tell us what you really think, mate.
    What a brilliant piece of writing, I’d give a month’s wages to see Palin’s face after she reads this piece. She really is a “dumb cunt” isn’t she?

  13. Look she’s not really that bad is she Felix. She’s made millions out of this crazy bandwagon so far so she can’t be as dumb as all the lefties think. After all being a pin up for the right is about taking a heap of money off the unsuspecting masses isn’t it. (eg transferring billions to Haliburton thanks to another war) thats how the rich become insanely rich and the poor go further into a debt that can’t be paid off in a hundred years.

  14. Oh i forgot to finish with… ‘You betcha!!’


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