REPOST – Finished with fM (fM is Finished!)

Looks like fM, formerly the go-to foreigner bar/restaurant in Taichung, will soon be no more. In honor of the occasion, I repost this bit explaining why I haven’t darkened that door in years, won’t make it to the farewell gathering, and ain’t shedding any tears.

It started out as a great joint. Excellent food, good drinks – a little pricey, but you could count on a crowd most nights and there’d generally be some folks about you knew. The prices have gone up, the quality of the service has declined, the crowds have disappeared, and last night was the final fucking straw.
A buddy is getting married. His stag party started out with drinks at a nearby pool hall, then moved over to fM for food, drinks and a stripper.
There must have been at least twenty of us. Despite kicking in the agreed upon fee, and a couple hundred extra, I got no food. Didn’t even see any. The evening was supposed to include drinks, but I’m almost exclusively a rum drinker. Thus the bar’s plan to provide whiskey and only whiskey was modified to include one bottle of Bacardi.
So, after paying for two drinks prior to that, I approached the bar looking for ice and mix – you know, to have a drink from the over-priced bottle of rum we had PURCHASED FROM THE BAR. I was told that a can of fucking coke would cost $120NT (SIX times the retail cost).
Now let me be clear about this: A drink at fM runs $160 (a little over $5 USD). You can buy an entire bottle at the grocery store for about twice that price, but they’re paying for staff and rent…fair enough. But after buying the entire fucking bottle of rum from the bar, it’s just fucking ridiculous to charge me 75% of the cost of a fucking drink in order to have MIX. Thieving cocksuckers!
It’s not bad enough that the faggy little waiter boys control the music and have a strong tendency to play the limpest pop love ballads; that they treat the bar like their own private club where one ought to feel privileged to pay ridiculous prices for a shot; that they make a fucking issue out of providing paying customers with the drink they want, but ripping me off for mix after charging the party for the bottle? Fuck you, you backward, ignorant, brainless fucktards. It’s no fucking wonder no one drinks in your shitty little bar anymore. USED to be crowds in there almost every night – now, lucky to find a dozen souls on a Saturday night. There’s a reason for that, you scamming fuckwits, and it ain’t because we’ve all stopped drinking.
“Oh, sure…we’ll sell you an ungodly overpriced bottle of rum. Now you just have to pay 600% markup on the mix.”
I guess I should feel fortunate they weren’t counting out individual ice cubes at $100 a pop.

Fuckwits. You’ll never get a single fucking kwai from me again.


3 Responses

  1. I am agree with you…That’s why i don’t go there anymore, I think the best foreiner bar in town is The Londoner, cheps drinks , beers and good people. Last time I was in some bar around the town and i bought and cup of wine and they charged me for 160nt and the fuckin wine was suck because they use that cheap wine for the carefour, actually that wine cost only 250 nt? what da fuck!!

  2. The evening was supposed to include drinks, but I’m almost exclusively a rum drinker. – Cousinavi

    That’s your problem right there. Just like with women, it’s never a good idea to practice exclusivity in any one form of alcohol. You always have to have a back-up or two, just for this very reason.

    Me, while I like rum (especially from Havana!) anything with alcohol in it will do, provided there’s enough of it.

  3. Actually FM just moved to a larger place and didn’t close

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