Brit Hume Offers Tiger the Forgiveness of Jesus

Brit Hume has either flipped his shpadoinkle or is looking to play up his ranking with the same crowd of backward Jesus freaks that make Glenn Beck’s imbecilic shenanigans so popular. It depends on whether his entreaty to Tiger Woods is sincere or calculated.

In the wake of the Tiger Woods Busload of Skanks / Supermodel Divorce / Crash ‘n Burn saga of the past month, Brit popped up last Sunday with some advice for the world’s number 1 cow pasture pool player:

Fox News’ Brit Hume gave Tiger Woods some personal advice Sunday morning, telling the scandal-plagued (and Buddhist) golfer to ‘turn to Christianity’ to make a full recovery.

On “Fox News Sunday,” Hume — the former leader of Fox News’ political reporting and host of “Special Report” who now serves as an analyst for the network — said that Woods’ recovery “depends on his faith.”

“The extent to which he can recover seems to me depends on his faith,” Hume said. “He is said to be a Buddhist. I don’t think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. My message to Tiger would, ‘Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.”

He is SAID to be a Buddhist? What the fuck is that?
You don’t THINK that faith offers…? What in the great lifting jumped up Jesus on skis do YOU know about Buddhism?

It could have been a one off, but no – last night on Bill O’Reilly’s nightly brand of ignorant condescension, Brit made the argument again:

O’Reilly played a clip of Hume’s comments, then asked him: “Was that proselytizing?”

“I don’t think so,” Hume said, and added that the content of Woods’ character was “not what we thought it was.”

Hume went on to reassert his belief that “Jesus Christ” offers something that Woods “badly needs.”

“He needs something that Christianity especially provides and gives and offers, and that is redemption and forgiveness. I was really meaning to say in those comments yesterday more about Christianity than anything else…I think that Jesus Christ offers Tiger Woods something that Tiger Woods badly needs.”

Well, at least he isn’t making the argument that faith in gentle Jesus, meek and mild, prevents people from making such stupid mistakes in the first place. Else how would we explain Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Baker, Ted Haggard, John Ensign, Mark Sanford and the long, long, LONG list of self-identified Christians whose actions have been demonstrated to fall far short of their professed principles?

No, Brit stopped short of that degree of hypocrisy. But that ought not get the smarmy fuckwit off the hook. What twisted level of utter condescension could move this man to publicly advise Tiger Woods that the only path back, now, is to embrace Christ? How fucking arrogant and ridiculous need one be to suggest that turning to Jesus is the path to “forgiveness and redemption”?

Brit was not pleading a year ago for Tiger to embrace Christ. Not six months ago. Not TWO months ago. But now, with his life in shambles, Brit Hume extends the hand of dogmatic ignorance and blind faith to Tiger, promising forgiveness and redemption.
Apparently, back then and despite the facts as we now know them, Tiger was not in need of either. Only now, after we know exactly the nature of Tiger’s “sins”, is Jesus the right thing to do.
Of course, is it not a tenet of the Christian faith that we are all sinners? None perfect? One wonders then why Brit would hold the reins of the redemption wagon so tightly, waiting for that dark night of the soul to make his pitch. Why is Brit not out there, week after week, offering this forgiveness and redemption to all and sundry sinners? Why only Tiger and why now?

Without even going into the truth value of such ridiculous faith claims, this is clearly nothing more than a stupid, hypocritical and arrogant man wrapping himself in the flag of faith to parade around soaking up the admiration of the gullible by appearing to extend a helping hand to someone who is very publicly suffering.
Examine the target a little more closely. A BILLIONAIRE pro-athlete, married to a super-model, with a string of ultra-hot skanks.
We don’t, of course, see Brit Hume out at Riker’s Island, or in the shooting galleries of the nation’s capital, or even making a trip down to Guantanamo, extending this forgiveness and redemption to those far more in need of such considerations, presuming they’re real.

No, Brit Hume keeps his desire to see the world embrace Jesus quiet UNTIL he can ride the Tiger train and pray loudly and publicly. I’m sure the inerrant word of god, as contained in the KJB, has something to say about that. Apparently Brit skipped over that bit.
And what was Tiger’s offense? For what does he require forgiveness and redemption? The same thing that forms the basis of a large chunk of marriage breakdowns and divorce filings throughout the United States every damn day. Does Brit preach conversion as the path to forgiveness and redemption for them, too? Or just for El Tigre?
Does he really think that embracing Christ makes for a better world, or just that when those inevitable human failings are discovered, lighting a candle, confessing and making the sign of the cross will make it all okay again. Elin will come back, the sponsors will come back and everyone will go back to loving Tiger Woods again.
The sheer brainlessness, hypocrisy and muddle-headed buffoonery of the proposition makes me want to vomit. The Jesus Get Out of Jail Free Card. It matters not what you do, only that you accept Christ and the slate shall be wiped clean.

Fuck that, and fuck you Brit Hume. It DOES matter what you do, and shallow, public apologies to the sparkly leprechaun are not only worthless, but shamefully bereft of the sort of serious reflection that is required. The idea that one may avoid responsibility for one’s actions by simply turning to Jesus; that one will be forgiven and “redeemed”, no matter what, just by joining a silly cult is not only foolish, it’s ugly.
If Tiger owes anyone apologies, it’s his wife…and perhaps the busload of skanks he rode from Australia to Dubai. He owes the American public nothing, he owes Brit fucking Hume nothing, and he owes nothing to the imaginary sky wizard in which Brit Hume would wish Americans truly believed he has faith.

That Brit Hume, long a lazy and ignorant excuse for a journalist, would wait until THIS moment to express his deep and profound faith in the Nazarene is disgusting.
You want to be a preacher, Brit? Then grab your damn loaves and fishes and hit the fucking road.
You want to be a journalist? Then go back to J-school and learn what one does.
Mostly, here’s wishing you shut both mouths, on both your hypocritical faces, and stop appealing to morons on the back of the suffering of others, you disgusting little shit.


4 Responses

  1. Hey, Tiger!

    All you gotta do is turn to Jesus and all the stupid, fucking, hayseeds out there will forgive you and leave you alone.

    The worst part is that it’s probably correct.

  2. nice analysis of a breathtaking piece of idiocy: “Senior” Political Analyst… I can only imagine what the junior ones must be like!

  3. Thank you for saying exactly what I was feeling. Bravo.

  4. Of course, his real name was יְהוֹשֻׁעַ or יְהוֹשֻׁעַ (if he existed), which is Yeshua, or Joshua: not Jesus. So, how can you have a personal relationship with the guy if you call him the same name as your Mexican gardener? So, don’t come around and tell me I need to have a personal relationship with him since I already do.

    He’s one of my wife’s family, and they are all meshugga!

    BTW, check out my latest post.

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