And I Thought Deepak Chopra Was Bad

There are idiots (see Glenn Beck, Michelle Malkin, Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Bachmann), and then there are IDIOTS – a special breed of all-caps intellectual disability that employs scientific concepts they utterly fail to comprehend as a means to convince imbeciles and morons that their snake oil bullshit has some basis in reality (see chiropractors and homeopaths).
I personally recall one particular example of this sort of brainlessness from a Saturday night at a popular watering hole downtown. It was nearing last call, so the boys were pulling out all the stops in an effort to impress the girls and avoid going home alone. One fellow had apparently decided that an intellectual approach might succeed with his particular target, so he ventured into the realm of theoretical physics – Schrodinger’s Cat, to be precise. I couldn’t help overhearing – the booze had made him loud:

So, this guy Schrodinger, he put a cat in a box with some poison to find out if it would live or die…and he closed the box, but the point of the experiment was that it IS possible to travel through time and change the past…

Come to think of it, this is not far off the bullshit Deepak Chopra was blithering on Huffington Post just today, so at least the boy was in popular company…but even Chopra knows there was no fucking cat – it was a THOUGHT EXPERIMENT designed to illustrate probabilities and potential waveforms of subatomic particles – that the act of observing affects the outcome of that which is observed. I don’t know if the girl had studied any physics, or if her bullshit detector simply slammed into the red zone, but she left moments later with a staggering rugby boy. So it goes.

Nevertheless, there are other IDIOTS out there, selling far more harmful options than a drunken roll in the hay with equally backward, shallow, ignorant pseudo-scientific bullshit. Check this shit out:

Got that? “All of the matter in the universe can be compressed down into the size of a bowling ball…so E=MC2.”
This sort of thing ought to be a crime. The willful spreading of ignorance through demonstrably batshit crazy claims.
Of course, that would mean dragging this homeopath off to the electric chair, along with Beck, Malkin and Bachmann…

Hey, I might be on to something.


3 Responses

  1. I suspect there’s some legitimate scientific theory mixed in there and a lot of bullshit too. I just can’t tell which is which because it’s all fucking mumbo-jumbo to me. Today’s batshit crazy sci-fi is tomorrow’s scientific fact. I can’t be bothered trying to separate the two.

    All I know for sure is that I’d like to be at the other end of the gesture she makes at the 5:45 mark .

  2. I have a thought experiment for you. I propose we compress HER into the size of a bowling ball to see if she, I don’t know, time travels or whatever. Wait, let’s make that a REAL experiment.

  3. What? Has nobody picked up my comments about the action she makes at 5:45 into the clip? I’m disappointed.

    Anyway, as if on cue, The Colbert Report dedicated the 2nd half of Oct 28th’s program to the kind of bong smoking physics referenced here.

    I know this is a horribly awkward website, but it’s the only way I can see Colbert Report clips on-line. I doubt this link will even will work for folks outside of Canada, but I can’t use Colbert Nation to find the same clips there and link to them, so you’re on your own. Motherfucking, geo-cock-blocking, assholes!

    With any luck, this link will automatically play and load up the other 2 segments of the episode relevant to the topic at hand.

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