Letterman Apologized – Now It’s Palin’s Turn

Sarah Palin went to a baseball game with her daughter. David Letterman thought it was Bristol, the teen mother and poster child for abstinence only sex education.

David Letterman told a joke about Bristol Palin and abstinence only sex education. He said Sarah Palin’s daughter was knocked up by A-Rod during the seventh-inning stretch.

It was not Bristol at the game, it was Willow, who is 14-years-old.
Sarah Palin and a horde of indignant right-wing rage-aholics went ballistic and accused Letterman of making jokes about statutory rape.

Ignoring Letterman’s absolute and unfettered right under the First Amendment to make any damn joke he pleases;
Ignoring the long history of many other comedians – from Jay Leno and Bill Maher to Saturday Night Live – making very similar jokes about Bristol Palin and teen pregnancy;
Ignoring Letterman’s statement that he thought it was the other daughter;
Ignoring the sheer improbability of David Letterman ever making any sort of a joke about sexual violence against children;
Ignoring the obvious premise of the joke – Palin’s own hypocrisy and craven exploitation of her children for selfish political ends like Republican Family Values;
Inflicting the most hideous and disgusting ex post facto analysis of The Facts in order to insist that Letterman INTENTIONALLY joked about the sexual assault of a child, the war of words immediately crushed the news cycle.

Sarah Palin issued a statement:

“The Palins have no intention of providing a rating’s (sic) boost for David Letterman by appearing on his show. Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman.”

If Palin is permitted to take her own perspective on the meaning of Dave’s joke – the one that allows her to be indignant and accusatory, then it is perfectly fair to treat Palin’s words with the same standard.
In fact, just take the PLAIN MEANING – examine what those words mean ON THEIR FACE – without going to any of the tortured analysis employed by Sarah Palin.

WHY is it “wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman”?
Sarah Palin is accusing David Letterman of being a threat to children.
In the context of the accusation by Palin regarding the joke itself – a twisted, logically contorted presumption, this can only be taken to mean that SARAH PALIN IS CALLING DAVID LETTERMAN A PEDOPHILE.

I don’t care what joke any comedian tells. I don’t care what line a joke does or does not cross.
People who think they are fit to GOVERN a state, or the entire country, ought not accuse people of being pedophiles in retaliation for being offended by a JOKE!

There is no reason whatsoever – NONE! – to suggest that David Letterman is any THREAT to ANYONE.
This is the most vile, disgusting, irresponsible, petty, trailer trash, thoughtless, spiteful, vicious thing that anyone has said, the joke included, in this entire episode. And it was said BY SARAH PALIN.

Now that the yammering, indignant Caribou Barbie fans have climbed up on their “rape is bad” platform and shouted long enough to extract an apology from Letterman (which he never should have given), it’s time for Sarah Palin to retract her contemptible slander of Mr. Letterman and apologize. NOT for the way a JOKE was PERCEIVED…but for the direct, ugly aspersion she cast out of vicious spite.

Don’t hold your breath. Sarah Palin is incapable of recognizing that she might have done anything wrong and would never admit it if she were.

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7 Responses

  1. Here’s what I wrote and tried to post on that OTHER website you seem to be having a feud with. Not sure if it actually went through as I’ve been having trouble with that lately. So I’m not going to blame them if it doesn’t appear. (What the hell ever happened to a Preview then Post?)

    The first thing I have to say is that this is a completely trumped up controversy designed to boost the media profile of all involved. Dave’s played this game with Oprah, Cher, Madonna and dozens of other celebs to the benefit of both parties. Anybody who doesn’t understand the phony controversy media ploy probably doesn’t own a TV. Not only doesn’t this qualify as national news, it barely even rises to the level of a meriting a mention on pimple faced, teenage virgin’s, blog, where it would be placed right next to the post about Jerry Ryan, written entirely in Klingon.

    The Republicans are currently in disarray and have a distinct lack of leadership. Into the void rushes their current spokespersons, professional entertainers taking advantage of the situation to grab themselves even more spotlight. It’s only hurting the party, but hey, these things happen when a party is at low tide.

    Unfortunately, until some actual leadership emerges, we also have to suffer through Sarah Palin. The BEST thing I have to say about her is that I find her pretty hot, in a “slutty flight attendant” kind of way, which is why I found that joke so funny. The truth is that if she wasn’t better looking than the vast majority of politicians out there, nobody outside of Alaska would have ever even heard of her. She was parachuted into the national spotlight out of nowhere, chosen to add some youth and sex appeal to a ticket occupied by someone hoping to become the oldest first-time president in US history. It was a shallow move that ultimately backfired and left me thinking Bush The First’s choice of Dan Quayle looks much better in retrospect.

    But instead of taking her 15 minutes of fame, becoming wiser for the experience and going back to her day job of running the state of Alaska, she decides to become yet another fame-whore. Because what the world so desperately needs now is another fame-whore. It seems she wants to become the political version of a reality show contestant who thinks they now have a career or talentless pop-tart doing whatever it takes to hang onto the media spotlight. It’s pathetic and allows both the media and the political process to degrade itself even further, something they do with masochistic glee. Case in point: the Letterman Joke.

    Here’s a little fact most people have trouble noticing. Be it a soccer ball to the nuts, an insult, or a parody, all comedy ultimately comes at the expense of someone, if only a fictitious character or the joke teller himself. Even a pun is a practical joke on the audience. You either find jokes funny or you don’t. It depends on your taste and the quality of the material. As George Carlin said, “if well crafted, even jokes about rape can, in the right circumstance, be funny.

    I found Letterman’s “rape” jokes funny. Despite being 100,000 times more offensive, I found some of Andrew Dice Clay’s work funny too. I personally saw and made all kinds of jokes about having sex with the Gore Sisters and the Bush Sisters. I even found John McCain’s 1998 joke about Chelsea Clinton being ugly almost as funny as it was cruel, (even though I think she’s hot). But others might not these things funny. Then again, others think America’s Funniest Home Videos Of Guys Getting Hit In The Balls is funny. Where is your attack on ABC for promoting nut violence for 20 years!

    If comedians had to apologize to everyone they insulted, there would be no laughter left in this world.

    Besides Letterman didn’t insult her, he gave her the best gift she could ever ask for; a chance to stand up and play the victim of a “horrible left wing media attack on my family” even though Dave is hardly known as a left winger. Even better, it was a “victimization” that crossed the political sympathy divide. “He’s joking about the rape of my little girl!” Even though Palin trotted her kids around during the election for political purposes, (which NO politician should EVER do because it’s crass exploitation and opens their kids up to this kind of treatment) Palin can now bathe herself in some more undeserved media spotlight and collect sympathy from parents of teenage girls everywhere, thus extending her 15 minutes even longer. Thanks a lot Dave!

    But something also bugs me about how a supposed Libertarian leaning, Free Speech promoting, website like yours handled this non-story. First, it wrote about it and not even in Klingon. Second, it seemed so eager to jump into this media publicity trap, it completely eschewed what should be the obvious Libertarian position in favour of picking sides in an irrelevant personal pissing match. What’s really sad is that I have to be the guy making this Libertarian argument, but here goes:

    1. The right to Free Speech is enshrined in the US Constitution and other questionable uses of it are defended on this website. Court rulings have given comedy/parody extra First Amendment leeway, particularly regarding public figures. If it wasn’t for the ridiculous and unconstitutional regulations regarding “bad” language on TV, Dave can legitimately say whatever the fuck he wants in his comedy routine and let the Free Comedy Market decide. He has no reason to apologize, even though he did, or at least as much of an apology that he is capable of giving.

    2. It doesn’t matter whether Dave was talking about Willow, Bristol, Talladega, Darlington, Pocono or Frodo. There was no rape, advocating rape, or even a joke about rape. Come to think of it, intercourse with A-Rod was only implied. But even if the sex act implied in the joke actually occurred and actually involved Willow instead of Bristol, there still was no rape. The only thing that would have happened was a Statutory Rape. Statutory Rape is NOT rape. Statutory rape bullshit.

    Age of Consent Laws are another way Big Mommy Government intrudes upon the personal freedom of individuals. It declares that teenagers aren’t intelligent enough to make their own choices and being responsible. This lack of intelligence and responsibility doesn’t interfere with their ability to make educational decisions that affect their lives, operate a vehicle on public streets, prepare food at restaurants, or be charged with a crime, but it interferes with the one thing most teenagers want to do more than anything else and that no law can stop them from doing. Considering consensual sex “rape” is an insult to people who have actually been raped. To my knowledge, Bristol has never been raped. But, depending on where you live, she was Statutory Raped by her boyfriend. But that doesn’t count because her parents were OK with it, even though they preach abstinence. Until a girl hits a randomly selected age, her vagina is considered property of the state and/or her parents.

    That’s the Libertarian argument. Funny thing is, I agree with it. The number of times I thought about being Statutory Raped before I actually lost my virginity was probably in the millions. And was I traumatized when it happened? Not in the slightest. Might have been the best day in my life.

    This whole “controversy” is a stupid joke. But what else do I expect in this day and age of non-news news, mindless Culture Wars fought by the mentally ill of both sides and attention seeking media misbehaviour that the irresponsible media rewards with attention?

    • Here’s a series of thoughts I had…and I think I may have to work this up into something. It strikes me as smelling true.

      It came off the question, was I “vitriolic” towards Letterman for apologizing because, from my perspective, that amounts to caving in to bullshit phony outrage.
      And so:

      I don’t think Vitriol is the right word. I’m quite profoundly disappointed that Dave caved – and I do see it as caving.
      It was a legitimate joke that had been done before by many.
      It was his absolute unfettered right to tell it.
      It was not intended to be a rape joke, and in the matter I believe intention is almost everything and perception – especially contorted, strained, willfully blind ones – count for very little.
      Now, any time anyone says anything that might possibly be CONSTRUED in SOME way to be offensive, sufficient yammering will extract an apology.
      It smacks of speech codes on University campuses which define offensive speech as anything said that offends anyone. That’s no way to measure anything – ALL speech is offensive to SOMEONE.

      It would have been one thing for Sarah to say, “Hey, wrong daughter.”
      It’s another to say he’s making statutory rape jokes. The extra three steps required to get there reveals the true motive…how badly Palin wanted to strike back.
      It would be offensive if comedians now felt that the craven exploitation of the Palin kids by their mother was something that CANNOT be commented upon. THAT hypocrisy and blatant double standard is exactly the stuff of satire and derision.

      I think there’s something to that, as well.
      There had been many Bristol jokes, and I suspect it bothered the living hell out of Sarah Palin.
      It drove her BATSHIT to have her nose rubbed in her holier-than-thou Family Values by the facts. And to be made the subject of JOKES?

      SNL made very similar jokes even BEFORE Sarah Palin appeared, yet she still went on the program (perhaps a calculated failure to object in defense of her daughter, perhaps not…it at least appears to be hypocrisy).

      In any case, having no office to run for and given this perfect opportunity to strike back while being seen to take a principled stand…off the back of Letterman’s confusing the daughters…ooh.
      I really think the joke is UTTERLY beside the point. It was nothing more than manipulative grandstanding. Yet another craven exploitation of her kids. There is NO point beneath which Sarah Palin will not stoop.
      SHE made her daughter the subject of rape joke. Not Letterman. And by calling him a pedophile, she looks like a fighter for women’s rights.

      Absolutely disgusting.

      Christ…now I’m wondering if Palin was flipping her traveling offspring back and forth and just waiting for someone to make the mistake.

      She can’t object to jokes about Bristol…she DID get knocked up. She might have a case if she left the kid at home, but so long as she’s pimping Bristol out as the No Sex poster child…

      AHA! How DARE you JOKE about the RAPE of my 14-year-old daughter WILLOW!

      Jesus. Even if Willow turns up preggers next month, no one will dare say a fucking word!
      Who wants to be labeled a pedophile for making a goddamn ironic observation?

    • Oh, and BRA-FUCKING-VO!

      Excellent post. Fine reasoning. Well written. Altogether welcome.

  2. Speaking of “Preview and Post” a preview would have kept me from fucking up my italics yet again. I almost always fuck HTML up.

    (Not to worry, mate. It’s a courtesy I grant favoured visitors. Your failure to properly close your tags will be addressed as and when appropriate. – Avi)

  3. There’s little doubt that Palin wanted to drag as much of her spawn, especially the female spawn, around with her in the Centre Of The Media Universe to maximize press coverage. More skirts = more coverage.

    I also thinks there’s a really good chance Palin was dragging her daughters around to draw out comments she could pounce on and play the victim. This is politics. Not much happens by accident. If somebody can make her over into a slutty flight attendant, the same PR flack can advise she brings out her daughters as bait. Anybody who doesn’t think this is at least a distinct possibility is wilfully naive beyond belief.

    And because of the whole Age of Consent thing, a joke about consensual sex can be so easily be twisted into Dave laughing about the rape of a teenager.

    “Rape! Rape! Rapity rape! Dave’s a closet rapist and a paedophile. The biased Left Wing Media and everyone else defending him probably is too. They’re all immoral family haters. Sodom. Gomorrah. Vote for me and I’ll get them back.”

    And like so many past Letterman Feuds, they both got a lot of press. A woman whose 15 minutes are up got another 2 weeks as the leading 2012 Republican candidate. Meanwhile, Dave got a lot more press than his new rival, Conan. Not exactly the kind he wanted, but…

    there’s no such thing as bad press!

    (I may just get the HTML thing down pat someday. Probably the day after I impregnate Talladega Palin.)

    • Talladega?

      I have a solid suspicion (following Trigg, Trac and Tripp) that the next squab will be named either Tron, Takk, or Mukluk.
      There ain’t no NASCAR in Alaska, man. Best you might hope for in the racing vein is Arctic Catt.

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