$150,000 Palin Shopping Spree

Stupidity is apparently contagious.  Only one question remains:  Who infected whom?

Was the RNC the carrier who, in passing their viral idiocy (staff-o-caucus imbecilus) to the bright and shiny governor of Alaska, rendered Sarah Palin incapable of forming a cogent sentence or understanding the nature of the job she was seeking?

Or was Caribou Barbie already infected with Mad Moose Disease – Wasilla Spongibrain Lackofempathy – which, when transmitted to the entire McCain campaign, rendered them spasmodic, unbalanced, drooling, incompetent fools incapable of pouring piss out of a boot?

Pfft.  It doesn’t matter in any practical sense.  The epidemiology and pathology of whatever deeply vicious, mean and recidivistic disease that has clearly rotted the brains of the entire GOP mental ward is something they can argue about after November 4th – a distraction from the sucking chest wounds and crimson venous spurting that no tourniquet will staunch.  Fuck them.  They earned every slice and most of the deepest cuts were self-inflicted.  It’s difficult to find any sympathy for such pathetic and public suicide attempts.  It’s easier to find disgust and revulsion at their bad taste in leaving such a godawful mess for the rest of us to clean up.

These stupid motherless morons have reached the point where the ambulance attendants are taking slots in a betting pool titled, “What have they done to themselves this time?”
Running with scissors has no takers – too pedestrian.
Someone penciled in “I Can See Russian Roulette From My Living Room” but everyone wanted to play that square and it seemed, on reflection, too obvious.
No one ever suggested Batshit Insane Shopping Spree.  I wish I could see the looks on their faces when they hear the news.  They’re not even equipped for this sort of damage.  Who you gonna call?  Ghost Bust…no, not their field of expertise either.

What news, you ask?  You best sit down – this is a stunner.

Sarah Palin has spent $150,000 on CLOTHES from joints like Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus since her nomination.  One hundred and fifty THOUSAND dollars.
To put that in perspective…oh for fuck sakes, I wanna do it the way CNN would “put it in perspective”… that’s 75,000 McDonalds apple pies.  Does that help?  No?  How about this:  15 million penny candies!
Still can’t get your head around it?
The Democrats have a number of ways to parse it:
Remember when the GOP went ballistic because John Edwards spent $400 on a haircut?  If Edwards had that same haircut every week, it would take him over seven years to spend the same amount.
Palin has spent about $2500 PER DAY on clothes since she accepted the nomination.
The vapid, incurious, uneducated, phony, shallow, pathetic joke has spent more on clothes in a single month than the average American spends in 80 YEARS.  Main Street Joe Six-Pack Hockey Mom, indeed.
Palin has spent enough on clothes in a single month to cover the health care costs for 15 people – and that would be the gold-plated Cadillac plan John McCain keeps talking about.

Is it not enough that she gins up hate and racism every time she opens her mouth while, at the same time, revealing that she has two brain cells bouncing around in that empty fucking head, both of which are convinced they’re alone?
Is it not enough that she can’t manage a sentence without sticking an out-of-place “there” in it and tacking a redundant and lonely “also” on the end?
Is it not enough that her ideas are obviously planted in her head by Rovian neocon fuckwits and Caribou Barbie is too incompetent to parrot them with any semblance of accuracy or comprehension?
Is it not enough that she thinks banning books is a good idea, believes dinosaurs and humans co-existed and wants Intelligent Design taught in the science classroom under the false flag of “information is never a bad thing”?

$150,000 on clothes.  Well, I’m certianly glad to see that she’s a real maverick – a reformer, an outsider – who is all about cutting wasteful spending and getting government back on the side of real Americans.  Sarah Palin is a real person, from a small town, who understands what it’s like to live within one’s means and is a’comin’ to Washington to, you know, shake things up there and clean up that Wall Street greed also.

FUCK YOU, SARAH PALIN.  Fuck you, you lying piece of shit.  You phony, avaricious, prevaricating greedhead.  Shut the fuck up and get your sorry, pathetic, embarrassing ass back to Wasilla…and take your new goddamn wardrobe with you.
The cover-your-ass story appears to be that it was always the intention to donate the clothes to charity after the election.
BULLSHIT!  Another lie and we fucking well know it!
Anyone who had a fucking tanning bed installed in the governor’s mansion; who charged the state to drag her children all over hell and creation at taxpayer expense, and then altered the documents after the fact to make it appear they had been invited, had no intention of donating a single button or stitch to charity and WE ALL KNOW IT.
More importantly, who in the name of fuck would want anything you wore while preaching hate to racists in an effort to steal a job for which you are simply, utterly and completely unqualified to hold?

Fuck you, Sarah Palin.  Fuck you.  Fuck you, indeed.
Begone, you stupid, embarrassing, moronic insult to democracy.

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7 Responses

  1. Excellent post. Every time I think McCain’s choice of Palin can’t look any worse, it does. I bet he would love to ditch her now if it weren’t for the fact that such a move would only make his foolishness all the more obvious.

  2. via email from Seth:

    I have spent some time in Wasilla, where she is from. From what I hear from my friends in the area, she is a “crack pot” typical of the Alaskan Christian Fundamentalist- of which there are many in that area. What a bad choice for Vice President. I think the RNC has sealed their fate. Could you imagine her as 2nd in command. I will have to say the other side is not much better–you watch as soon as Obama wins the election–the US economy will further slide.
    Life in Hsinchu is good! Not being in the US is even better! I think I owe you some breakfast?
    cheers, Seth

  3. @ Seth Re: Sliding economy
    You’re not suggesting that a Republican president (assuming the ticket were not Gimpy McSenile and Caribou Barbie but rather someone competent) would cause the economy to rebound into sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, are you?
    Or, that President Obama would make things worse, still, than they might otherwise be?

  4. Awesome entry.

  5. You are so right. Fuck her. I mean, I’d fuck her. Hell, I’d pay to fuck her. She’s hot. I’m glad you agree with me.

  6. I hate to admit it, but I’d fuck that crazy hillbilly. I tend to be attracted to insane/evil chicks to begin with. (See: Michelle Malkin) Sarah Palin most certainly qualifies under that criteria.

    Combine that with the fact that Palin is actually not bad looking, especially after that expensive, US tax payer subsidized, slutty make-over and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t enjoy a good bukkake all over her face.

    If there’s any woman who needs a good bukkake…it’s Sarah Palin.

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