This Guy is TOTALLY Fucked

There’s a saying about friends that I like:  “A friend will help you move.  A real friend will you move a dead body.”  It’s a matter of degree, n’est pas?

Well, there are assholes in the world and then there’s this guy.

Some fucking developer sold a house to a man and his pregnant wife.  The HOA agreement calls for landscaping and such to be completed within a year.  The developer, Chick Edwards (Chick?  Jesus…are you serious?  CHICK?), still owns most of the other lots, so he’s singularly the head, heart and balls of the HOA.

Here’s where the asshole part comes in.

The purchaser, Burke Jensen, got called up to serve in Kuwait.  He’s not in America – he’s off doing his duty for his country.  Burke’s pregnant wife went back east to be with family…you understand, since she’s about to give birth.  The landscaping has not been completed even though Burke paid some scofflaw a bunch of money for the job – that sonuvabitch appears to have walked from the job.

If Chick were a reasonable man – an understanding sort of fella – I wouldn’t be posting about it.  Chick is an asshole.  A slimy bastard rotten dirty whore sonuvabitch shit-eating fuckwit who ought to be shunned by civilized people until he atones for his ignorant, despicable infinite assholery.

Chick is suing.  Well, it is America, after all.  That, by itself, would not be noteworthy.  It’s the quotes…
Holy sweet mother of jumped up jebus on skis is it the quotes.

“I really don’t give a [expletive] where he is or what his problem is,”

“[Jensen] doesn’t have the right to walk away from his obligation…I have most of the property still, so I am the homeowners association.”

Burke wants to rent the house while he’s away.  No fuckin’ way, says Chick.
He said an attorney who has reviewed the covenants agrees.

“This is a contract. I don’t like the way his property looks. This clown gets to do what he wants, and I’m as mad as hell,” he said.

Some of Burke’s co-workers and a neighbour have been attending to the property.  A lawyer representing Burke says the law prevents any civil actions against active overseas service members.  As far as I’m concerned, none of that matters.

The weeds can grow and the paint can peel.  Chick Fuckwit Edwards can eat a bag of putrid ocelot dicks.
In a just universe, this insensitive turd; this total lack of empathy in shoes; this embarrassment to the entire line of mammals that spawned such a giant fucking asshole would be refused simple purchases of gasoline and pizzas; called names by small children for 100 miles in all directions.  The newspaper carrier ought to leave his morning paper in a puddle – pissing on the walk to make a puddle if necessary.  Dog owners from neighbouring counties should make a point of walking their well-fed and desperate dogs all over Chick’s many vacant lots.

CHICK!  You’re an ASSHOLE.


26 Responses

  1. My dogs’ piss is like fucking Roundup. If I knew where he lived, his grass would be dead in a week.

    And yeah, Chick is a helluva name…Maybe his mom had a sixth sense and knew he was going to be an asshole?

    (What’s with the K’s tonight? FTFY. Avi)

    • Listen, there are two sides to every story. This is a perfect example on how the media shows a one-sided perspective. I know first hand and that Edwards guy put up with a lot of sh_t from “Lt. Jensen”.

      • There is a statute. One MAY NOT foreclose on an active duty member, period. So, you can stick your perspective up your myopia. There ARE NOT two sides, dickhead…there is only the LAW.

  2. Chick, meet Tucker. Tucker, Chick.
    Tucker, this is Rush. Rush, Tucker and Chick.

    LOL. Rush, Chick and Tucker.
    If those three don’t get the living shit beaten out of them at the roller rink, we’re not raising our kids properly.

    Sounds like some sort of drive-by sex crime: “The defendant is accused in a single count of Rush Chick and Tucker…how do you plead?”

  3. Don’t forget Newt!


  4. Just checking in. The guy is an asshole of an asshole. He’s like an asshole looking in the mirror and holding up a mirror to the mirror. An infinite asshole.

    Did you catch the Sarah pic at Bob’s place photo shopped with a wizard hat of sorts?

  5. Rush Chick and Newt Tucker…
    Rush Chick and Tucker Newt…yep…that’s the winner.

    God help us if Bay Buchannan shows up.

  6. According to Google Phonebook, Chick Edwards has two listings:

    Chick Edwards (509) 582-XXXX 00000 S Oak St,Kennewick, WA 99337


    Chick Edwards (541) 566-XXXX Weston, OR 97886

    The two locations are about 15 minutes apart, which probably means one is his home and the other is his business. FYI.

    (new blog policy at VNV…new cuz it had never come up before…contact information will not be published. Yeah, Chick’s an asshole and deserves almost whatever he gets, but VNV will not facilitate harassment – Avi)

  7. Sorry about the typos…my keyboard’s kinda old, and sometimes doesn’t register the keys the first time I press them. It gets old, but if I’m not paying attention, I’ll miss a few letters every now and then.

    and uhm, good policy. Don’t want to turn this place into a Malkin-type hatefest

  8. Mmmmm. My little Filipino blog whore MMmmmmalkin.
    Did I ever tell you she likes to be spanked?
    It’s true. She likes to be spanked and made to admit why she needs the spanking.
    Then, with an embarrassing amount of pure, eager glee she rushes right back over to her laptop to earn herself another cheeky smack.
    You didn’t think she was serious, did you? She’s just earning another spanking, the naughty little minx.

    Don’t give the typos another thought. I don’t even spank Malkie for that, and she fuckin’ PLEADS.

  9. the guy is a dick head for sure….

  10. The only meaningful response will be if local restaurants, hardware stores etc refuse to do business with him. Make him a social pariah.

  11. Fuck Chick Edwards. He’s a piece of dogshit, and I hope he gets hit by a bus… or at least his house blows up. Come on gas leak – wipe this asshole off the planet!

  12. One of these things just doesn’t belong here…

    how does a pro military story end up here?

  13. I hope this guy gets whats coming to him. Karma is a bitch and will take care of this peice of shit. I now guys like that get the shit kicked out of them in my area. Hopefully some has some good old shit kicking boots and feels like taking them for a spin.

  14. This guy is the nozzle on the douche. Hopefully anyone who reads this story will avoid any dealings with Chick “Grit In His Slit” Edwards. What a vagina this guy is.

  15. Rob, on October 21st, 2008 at 1:49 am Said:
    One of these things just doesn’t belong here…
    how does a pro military story end up here?

    What’s “pro-military” about this bit?
    What’s anti-military about anything else on VNV?
    I support the soldiers – it’s their Commander in Chief I have a problem with.
    You sound like a McCain voter – everything is black and white, about as deep a shot glass.
    To be rather more clear, it wouldn’t matter if he were in Africa with Doctors Without Borders or in another state attending to his terminally ill mother – circumstances beyond his control have prevented him from meeting the HOA terms, and those circumstances are such that he deserves, in my opinion, better than to be sued by a cranky bitch who’s pissed that his lots aren’t selling.

    Try thinking a bit before parading your vapid opinionlets (little opinions…still need to grow up a bit) in public.

  16. I just saw the news clip on CNN and was just outraged. This guy needs to be jailed… It is just unbelievable that some one can getaway witch some thing like this… Well, anything that came out of this is that the US now knows that Chick Edwards is an a**hole and needs to be deported from the united states (in my opinion)

    Chick, go to my site and post your resume as “a-hole of the year” poition… lol

  17. More like Prick Edwards.


  18. I WANT TO PLAY A GAME! A BLOW TORCH , a bucket, and a BIG RAT !!!!! I served in the 4th ID .We don’t have the time to sleep much less spend time with our families.The lawn is the last thing on my mind pre deployment.

  19. Chick, You pissed off the majority of North America with your moronic actions. I will receive much pleasure when your name is mentioned as an afterthought on ABC news, and don’t expect anyone to investigate….

    “run and hide asshole, run and hide…”

  20. Maybe just maybe people who were thinking of buying (they call me Chick because I have a VAGINA) Edwards houses will rethink where they would like to live. With the way markets are today who knows maybe he would end up bankrupt and broke. Would only serve him right being the ASSHOLE he is.

  21. Ok, someone go take a couple of bottles of RoundUp Concentrate and write “CHICK IS AN ASSHOLE” on his lawn or some other choice phrase. What a gutless, spineless, worthless piece of trash Chicklet is.

  22. Well, given that all of this shit is correct (which, given the degree of oddity, is not guaranteed), Chickie should be slowly squashed, rendered & squirted on the property to improve fertility. Jeepers. What a creep.

    Chick. When there is more than one participant in the Homeowners Association do you suppose you might be voted out for horribility?


  23. Maybe Chick needs to go to Iraq instead of Mr. Burke. I’ve been there – Hey Chick you’ll like it there. There is no grass you fucking nuttless, cocksucking, unpatriotic, communist piece of rat shit. I would of used dog shit but I think they are better than you. You fuckin gay porno accident.

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