Things I Wish Obama Could Say When McCain Gets Nasty

I’ve been thinking about the ways John McCain is vulnerable to character attack.  Not smears, mind you.  Just the TRUTH.  No distortions…just the FACTS, ma’am.
And there are a fucking ton of them – a laundry list of stains that just will not wash out.  ABC…why pay more?  Nope.  All the Clorox in the world couldn’t bleach John McCain’s slate clean.

What is it that prevents Obama, should McCain follow true to character and come out in three hours or so swinging the most vicious, dirty, ginned up chunks of bullshit imaginable, from saying some or all of the following:

Senator, for someone who doesn’t know the difference between a Sunni and a Shiitewho thinks AlQaeda is training in Iran…for someone who is so fundamentally ignorant of the great threat you say we must address, you sure seem to have a lot of solutions.  Perhaps you should study up on the problem before trying to answer the question.

You keep bringing up my passing acquaintance with William Ayers -a respected professor in Illinois I barely know, who committed some reprehensible acts when I was eight years old.  YOU, Senator McCain, VACATIONED on numerous occasions with a convicted felon and were investigated for using your office to help him con the American people out of a BILLION DOLLARS***.
Now, I recognize you were cleared and that you have admitted that you exercised exceptionally poor judgment in that sorry mess…but to be perfectly fair, your ties to Charlie Keating were a lot – A LOT – closer than mine to Professor Ayers.  And as between those two men, only William Ayers – a mere footnote in my life – has built a productive life contributing to the community as opposed to being sent to prison and recalled as a FORMATIVE and DEFINING chapter in your career.

Senator McCain, you talk a lot about honor and character for a man who had numerous affairs – who broke faith with his wife and broke his vow before GOD – married his rich mistress and used her money to coast into politics.

Your record, Senator McCain, is a record of failure.  Barely scraped through at the bottom of your class, crashed…how many planes was it?  Five?opposed Martin Luther King dayadmitted you were wrong – only one of your many flip-flopssuspended your campaign to save the economy and wound up wrecking an almost settled negotiation to address this economic crisis, which you now want to ignore in favour of assassinating my character!
Speaking of which, Senator McCain, how many of your ten houses are YOU losing to foreclosure?

Can’t you see McCain getting solid and testy – aggressively challenging, interrupting?  Obama’s too polite, he’ll let McCain speak.  What if he raised his voice halfway and said,

“No, Senator!  You had your attack on me.  You told your lies, Now you LISTEN to some TRUTH.  The American PEOPLE are TIRED of having REPUBLICAN SPIN crammed down their throat.  MY TURN to talk NOW, Senator.”

Let McCain stand up.  Stand next to him.  Love the height differential, bitter little midget.
Of course, Obama would do no such thing.  That is not presidential behaviour.  It’s rash and reactive; emotional and, even if considered, it doesn’t appear to be.

There are a number of reasons why Barack Obama doesn’t go down that road (not least of which is good sense).  The first one worth noting bears directly on his suitability for the oval office.
Were the polls reversed, I believe Obama would still be talking about the issues – making his case that his vision for America is to be preferred to the last eight years of Bush and the future under more Republican governance.
Obama would NOT choose to pull out all stops – sacrifice his honour and dignity to attack McCain personally:  Poor academic record, repeated plane crashes and repeated adultery; he would not suggest McCain’s association with Pastor John Hagee, or Palin’s with Pastor Muthee, ought to be foremost in voters mind when assessing for whom to cast their ballot.

Barack Obama has a better, stronger sense of what democracy is supposed to be about than that.
That is a quality that speaks to Obama’s suitability for the office.
In almost perfect contrast, by doing what is his nature to do; what everyone advises him to do; what everyone expects him to do; what he wants to do, John McCain disqualifies himself.

Another reason Barack Obama doesn’t take these lines is that he can’t.  They are precluded in ways that do not apply to John McCain.  The reason no one would speak of or admit were true if someone else pointed it out: Racism.
Obama is too smart to let McCain and Palin play him as “uppity” – to let Palin’s army of Red State Joe Six Packs mutter, “Boy don’t know his place,” any louder than they already are – and you KNOW they want to.  Obama is forced by virtue of the fact that America is a racist country to play a cleaner game than POW Crashtest McMumblefuck – a privileged, spoiled rotten, entitled white elitist who can do whatever the fuck he wants.  There have NEVER been consequences for John McCain.
They’re already hauling out the “Hussein” references, for fuck sakes.  God bless America, indeed.

Three hours to Town Hall.
In three hours, John McCain is going to publicly sacrifice the very last faded shred of the faux honour and dignity everyone used to believe he had.  So it goes with paper heroes.
The sorry bastard never had any honour or dignity to begin with.  He’s been a bitter, cheating, bottom-feeding user with a profoundly expressed sense of GIMME over the entire course of his life.  And tonight he’s got nothing left except one last, desperate, gimpy clutch at the ring.  Tonight John McCain will show America what his brand of Country First is really all about.

Steady as she goes, Barack.

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