Palin Brain – Fungible Molecules

Fungible  (fuhn-juh-bul)   adjective – Law

  • Returnable or negotiable in kind or by substitution, as a quantity of grain for an equal amount of the same kind of grain.
  • Interchangeable.

Someone has clearly been coaching the beauty queen.  “I’ll take Legalese That Makes Me Sound Intelligent for 500, Alex.”
Watching this clip reminds me of the night I overheard some twit in a bar trying to impress a girl by explaining Schrodinger’s Cat.  He claimed that the famed physicist literally put a cat in a box and thereby proved that time travel was, in theory, absolutely possible.  His explanation was rather more complex, but there’s really no point in reproducing it here.  It was not merely nonsense – it was painful…like watching this clip.

Sarah Palin is too damn stupid to be permitted anywhere near the White House.  Of course, stupidity is no bar – George Bush is more than ample proof of that.  But Dubya is also walking proof of what happens when you let an imbecile sit in the oval office, and that ought to be all the lesson anyone needs to avoid even the possibility of that happening again.

In any case, the Wasila moose mama tossed off her 1A-Law vocabulary learnin’, then immediately proceeded to demonstrate that she hasn’t got the foggiest fucking notion of what the word means.  As if her acceptance speech, which had the word nuclear spelled phonetically for the Alaskan governor, “New-Clear,” weren’t enough evidence that she’s a brainless, semi-literate joke.
One gets the idea that Palin’s grand energy plan – because, you see, she knows more about energy than anyone in America – is that energy produced in America should go to Americans first.  That’s the sort of foolish pablum that stupid American voters will gobble right up.  Sadly, it’s also the sort of ridiculous slop that fools American voters.

The amount of energy produced in America is a not only a drop in the bucket of energy consumed by America, it is a fungible drop in the bucket.
Just to be really clear about this:  If America could produce domestically every single barrel of oil it needs (it can’t), every single barrel it no longer buys from OPEC would immediately be gobbled up by China and India at current market prices.  It makes no difference.

Oh, but Palin would say, then those oil dollars would go to American companies and American workers who produce oil in America for Americans.  Maybe so.  But those American companies are already charging $4 a gallon at the pumps, and insofar as oil is a fungible commodity, the cost of heating your home isn’t going to change one cent.  The price of oil is not determined by production.  Demand already outstrips production and price fluctuations are the result of, fundamentally, two things:  Threats to supply (war, terrorism and hurricanes) and market speculation – both of which tend to drive prices up.

Dramatically increased production could, in theory, bring prices down if demand were stable.  Demand is not stable.  It is increasing and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.  India and China are not getting smaller or poorer.  Oil ain’t GI Joe with the kungfu grip.  There aren’t warehouses full of oil waiting for the Christmas rush.  It’s been bought and sold five times before it even comes out of the pipe.
And the simple, inescapable fact remains that there just isn’t enough oil to be drilled in Alaska, offshore, onshore, or anywhere else in the United States to make any but the tiniest fraction of a buck’s difference in the price of a barrel of light, sweet crude.  And that tiny, fractional difference will not be seen for twenty years.  Also not without relevance, the fact that a headlong rush and heavy investment in domestic oil production would divert dollars, time and attention away from developing alternative energy streams that might, in twenty years time, dramatically reduce the need for oil – purchased or pumped.

I caught a brilliant analogy for the Palin energy plan the other day.  Saying, “Drill, baby, drill!” in today’s market is like saying, “Typewriters, baby, typewriters!” at the beginning of the computer revolution.  We just need more carbon paper!

Fungible, indeed.  I’ll tell you what’s fungible.  What comes out of the annoyingly vapid mind and lipsticked mouth of Sarah Palin is fungible.  There’s no difference between her position on energy, the economy, foreign policy, abortion or anything else.  It’s all just yammered bullshit jammed in there by her GOP handlers.  Pull the string and out tumbles another ridiculous talking point she neither understands, nor can deliver with anything approaching sense.  That she is simply sputtering hollow words that she is incapable of explaining, were she ever to be asked a serious question, is just too fucking obvious.  Blither, blather, reform, old boys club, ruffle a few feathers, reform, drill, drill, reform, blather, lipstick, outsider, thanks but no thanks, I can see Russia from Alaska, blither, yammer, reform…(pull the string)…blather, fungible, drill, reform, old boys club, drill, math is hard, I know about energy, blither, yammer…

Who are three people that have never been in my living room?
Cliff Claven for VEEP!  It’s all about comfortable footwear.  Sandals for everyone!


One Response

  1. … Fungible, indeed. I’ll tell you what’s fungible. What comes out of the annoyingly vapid mind and lipsticked mouth of Sarah Palin is fungible. …

    Beautiful analysis: really nasty, hard-hitting and oh! so damn true.
    I’ve bookmarked your site and will return from time to time for some deep draughts of fresh air.

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