The level of journalistic incompetence on CNN is un-fucking-believable. I’m in Taiwan, so I get CNN Asia out of Hong Kong. Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer make occasional appearances – the Situation Room and AC360 – but mostly I’m forced to suffer Jim Clancy, Colleen McEdwards, Anjali Rao and the rest of the second tier fuckwits that yammer from behind the teleprompter.
Just now, Jim “Inflection” Clancy asked a correspondant covering the Russia-Georgia conflict, “What are the people – the ones who have been forced from their homes – saying about this conflict?”
Good question Jim. I’m sure the refugees are taking a broad geo-political view of the issue and can provide you with the insight we all require. Dickhead.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the old alkie fuckwit would learn how to stop PUN-CHING every third word in a DE-LIV-ER-Y reminiscent of a Maxwell House COF-FEE pitch man. His cadence makes me want to choke him. He draaaags his way over words, extending them in time and syllable count like an intoxicated stroke victim…makes me want to smack him and scream FINISH THE FUCKING SENTENCE!
I cannot decide whether Clancy’s lame, glazed idiocy is more or less annoying than Wolf Blitzer’s gasping, asthmatic, monotone run-on wheezing. At least Blitzer can go off script without stumbling into almost complete incoherence. Clancy without a teleprompter is a pathetic thing…stumbling and bumbling nonsensically to the first commercial break. One can almost see the panic in the control booth as they desperately hunt up some promo cart to get the stuttering fuck off camera.
Colleen McEdwards. Christ. Head bobbing, chair jumping, nodding fuckwittery of unprecedented intensity. Someone needs to tell this idiot to SIT STILL – stop accentuating the delivery with spastic jerking about.
Anjali Rao. Close your mouth. Stop grinning and talking at the same time, and learn how to fucking blink those gigantic doe eyes in normal time. The fucking slow motion blink makes me want to slice off her goddamn eyelids.
But perhaps the worst of it is when these idiotic, ignorant, stuttering fucktards go off script and try to be cute and humourous – trading clever little bon mots back and forth with what passes, in their Super Junior Journalist Club, for wit. Without exception, their comments reveal them as dumber than stumps and about as useful.
“Thanks for that, indeed.”
Kristy Lee Stout seems reasonably competent, relative to the morons with whom she’s forced to work. Sadly, she sounds like Bart Simpson. I swear! Close your eyes, you can hear her say, “Cowabunga, Dude!”
It gets no better when World Sport comes on. They’ve got some shouting imbecile named Justin that can’t get through a story without climbing up the intensity scale until he sounds like a track announcer calling the final stretch with four horses neck and neck. It gets really ugly if the topic is tennis and he gets to mention Rafael Nadal. The motherfucker cannot simply say Nadal – he HAS to call him “Rafa” AND roll the R:
It’s so bad that I’m now convinced he’s a flaming gay who has a serious crush on the young Spaniard.
The promos…oh jesus the promos!
“You’ve seen men of God, and men who kill in God’s name”
“…Nature’s retribution, now the eco-solution”
“CNN – Essential for business”
For fuck sakes, you twits! If you’ll lie to me about that, you’ll lie to me about anything!
“See the trends, then make your move…?” Any CEO who’s getting vital information from you self-aggrandizing, blithering fools is so far behind the curve the board ought to can his ass.
It’s like Miss Betty and the gang at Romper Room have taken over the studio and decided that it’s just not possible to be too pretentious or over the top.
I mean, really…when meth addict, dildo boot, cock string Richard Quest ISN’T the worst thing on the schedule, you’ve clearly got some problems.
What ever happened to Bernard King?
Filed under: CNN, Media, Propaganda, Taiwan, Uncategorized | Tagged: Anjali Rao, Bernard King, bumbling, CNN, CNN Asia, Colleen McEdwards, Eco-solution, fuckwits, Hong Kong, idiots, imbeciles, Jim Clancy, Kristy Lee Stout, morons, Rafael Nadal, Richard Quest, stuttering, Wolf Blitzer |