Al Qaeda is Fucked Now

I feel safer.  Do you feel safer? 


A U.S. military jury found Osama Bin Laden’s former driver guilty of five counts of material support to a terror organization in the September 11, 2001, attacks.

If Osama Bin Laden runs out of milk and has to go to the supermarket, the fucker will have to WALK. 
And no more cruising up and down the strip in Kabul shouting, “Allah Hu Akbar!” through the AM radio on his Mister Microphone.
He’s, like, SO totally fucked.  How’s a mujahadeen supposed to meet the hotties without wheels?  Brother cannot command respect when he’s always callin’ up Mahmoud or Hussein and bein’ all, “Come pick me up.”  If they can’t get around, who cares if they hate us? 

That George Bush, eh?  When that little monkey fucker declares war on terror, he means business.  I bet every hairdresser, driver, gardener, cook and falafal delivery guy from Afghanistan to Lebanon is burning their client lists at this very moment.

The National Security Network:

HAMDAN VERIDCT: We Waited Seven Years For This?

“Today’s verdict does little if anything to advance American security. The entire process raises fundamental questions about the administration’s disregard for our constitutional values and may well do America more harm than good in the court of world opinion. It took seven years for the Bush administration’s military commissions system to get its first conviction for a crime that is regularly prosecuted in federal court. And when it did, it was a driver who even the administration acknowledges did not participate in the planning or execution of any terrorist attacks. Surely there is a better way to protect America and bring terrorists to justice while adhering to the constitutional values that have kept us safe and strong for 200 years.”

Next, we get his fucking manicurist. That’ll teach the jihading bastard. Fuck you and your cuticles!
Who knew this War on Terror would be so easy?

One Response

  1. Bravo. One of your best rants evah!

    And I’m loving what you’ve done with the place!

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