A Mormon missionary approached me at an intersection in Taiwan (they’re fuckin’ everywhere in Taiwan). Sadly for the Mormons, I’m just the sort that loves a wee theological debate while waiting for the light to change.
With the first breath after his cheery introduction, I mentioned that I was a little offput by the Mormon’s posthumous baptism of Jews killed in the camps.
The objection is entirely in principle, you understand…I have no practical objection at all. Why would I? It’s all fucking Leprechauns to me. Nevertheless, why are you underwear freaks going out of your way to piss off Hebes by BAPTISING their dead relatives?
How stupid is that? How arrogant??
Lack of faith notwithstanding, when confronted with a Mormon missionary, I always accept their terms in these little tete-a-tetes. It’s the only way the debate can progress. Damn Mormons are never willing to accept my hypothesis as a starting point.
No Mormon with that ‘Elder Barry’ nametag on his stiff white shirt is ever gonna walk up to me at a red light and say, “Hi! I’m a blind dogma gobbler who would like to brain wash some needy soul into donating a chunk of their income…are you such an idiot?”
I digress.
His position was that there are NO righteous people absent baptism into the Mormon faith; that no one enters heaven without it.
Since it had recently come to public attention that Elie Wiesel’s name was on a list for future baptism, I asked him if Wiesel would qualify as a “righteous man”.
No, replied the Mormon, Wiesel would not qualify.
“But you would, being a Mormon?” I asked.
Yes, replied the Mormon.
Well, I told the kid, any belief system that makes you righteous over Elie Wiesel seems pretty obviously fucked.
“Sadly for the Mormons, I’m just the sort that loves a wee theological debate while waiting for the light to change.”
I guessed right in advance what this would be about and good for you for standing up for those that can’t.
“How stupid is that? How arrogant??”
This should also be applied to this answer near the end from the Mormon: “Yes.” Not only could he never really know, but it should also be a logical impossibility to be correct.
@ Sharon
You’ve never dealt with Mormons, have you?
“You’ve never dealt with Mormons, have you?”
No, not in person. However, I have delt with claimed Mormons in chatrooms and forums though.
I made a missionary reject god.
One of my prouder moments.
“I made a missionary reject god.
One of my prouder moments.”
At one time I would have agree with this, but I am not judging. For the utter damage religion has done to humans, there should be some sort of accounting. Right now, I want them to just keep their beliefs to themselves or they will continue in contradiction.
how many mormons does it take to change a lightbulb?
2
1 to change the bulb
and the other one to annoy the fucking shit out of me at a god damned red light
K,
My wife won’t let me wear a white shirt and black tie to the office because she says I look like a “Mor-mon”. She’s Indonesian so it comes out sounding like Moron. Comedy.
Myself, I’m just dying to run into a Mor-mon over here in Indonesia. Although it probably won’t happen, I will relish telling them, “I was raised Roman Catholic, but I just converted to Islam. What’s your God selling?”
Cheers,
Ryan
The author obviously has no clue what the Mormon Baptism for the Dead is and is not.
The Mormons will still baptize you roughly 100 years after you’ve passed on as well. Doesn’t mean you’ll turn Mormon in afterlife (which you obviously don’t believe in so I don’t see why you care either way.)
@ Jon
I’m willing to bet I know more about the history and practices of the LDS Church than most members of the LDS Church (and especially the missionaries I have met throughout the world).
As for being an atheist, WTF has that got to do with anything? I find it the height of hypocrisy, insensitivity and arrogance for the special underwear freaks to go about foolish bullshit which seems designed to piss off the davening crowd.
Any ignorant theist is allowed to believe whatevcer stupid bullshit they want. When they start inflicting their silliness on others – whether it’s baptising the dead or insisting on creationism being taught in the science class – that’s when I object.
I note you capitalize “Mormon Baptism for the Dead”.
You from Utah, Jon? You wearing special underwear as prescribed by the racist, sexist, polygamous sect of freaks and wierdos handed down from Joseph Smith thru Brigham Young to the starched white shirts at Taiwan intersections who have to sneak off in private in order to rub one out?
Are you on the path to Sainthood?