The Future of the GOP

Barring some hideous event that changes everything between now and Tuesday, it would appear that President Barack Obama will win a second term. This presumes that voting machines in Ohio haven’t been jiggered and Hispanics and blacks are permitted to vote, neither of which are entirely safe bets. Nevertheless, if Nate Silver turns out to be worth his effeminate weight in gold leaf, the GOP will have four more years to try and figure out how to get their vicious junkie hands back on the steering wheel. And there’s the rub.

A goodly chunk of the batshit mad Good Old Party will insist that Mitt Romney wasn’t conservative enough; that if only they’d had a real, bred-in-the-bone Tea Party, Guns, God and ‘Merca Conservative, why, it would have been a landslide.
A rather less crazed faction will, however, recognize that putting Michelle Bachmann on the top of the ticket would best serve one purpose – getting out the Democratic vote and driving every independent voter from the 49th parallel to the Rio Grande to join them. And in this factional divide lies the death of the Republican party. They have no candidate that can possibly win a Republican primary fight and then pivot to appeal to the general electorate. There is no such animal and they have no one to blame but themselves. This is the result of inviting racists, homophobes, Christo-facists, gun nuts, birthers and conspiracy theorists into the big tent; of using Fox News to lie and pander to the mouth breathing, ignorant pig people upon whom they have relied to win every election since Reagan…perhaps all the way back to Nixon.

Look at the slate of candidates they shuffled through in a desperate attempt not to nominate Mitt Romney, each of whom, at one point or another, led the pack and were destined to carry the Conservative banner: Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Herman Cain and Rick Perry. That’s not a political primary, it’s a confederacy of dunces!
Some begged for Sarah Palin. Others longed for Chris Christie, but after his praise for President Obama following hurricane Sandy, he’s going to be Excuse #1 why Romney lost and they’ll never forgive him for it. Given that the GOP has collectively managed to pretend that the entire Bush administration never happened, they’ll certainly be able to forget the self-inflicted, fully automatic gaffe strafing with which Mittens peppered himself.

So, who’s left…or rather, who’s right? Bobby Jindal? Tim Pawlenty? Marco Rubio? Jan Brewer? Orly Tate? Rush Limbaugh? Who could possibly be the ultra-Conservative golden child the crazed Republican freaks in tri-corner hats could support, and then make any serious effort at winning a general election?

If you thought this was a particularly strange presidential election, featuring an unprecedented degree of lies, twists and flips, brother…wait and see what rough beast slouches towards 2016.

12 Responses

  1. Nice one! I like this one too. I have a feeling the GOP is going to turn into the Libertarian party.

    • Economically speaking, they already pretty much are. Socially speaking, they would probably get better by doing so.

      I think that might be the ONLY way they might change because being more socially liberal might get them some votes from outside the Base. And where would upset social conservatives go, the Democrats?

  2. I love your ability to hit the nail right on the head! I also love the way you don’t mince words! No one can say they don’t know where you stand on a subject! ‘Course it couldn’t possibly be because I agree with you 100%! lol

  3. I would be willing to start praying to God again if He would deliver America a viable 3rd Party. (Because a miracle is exactly what it would take.) Because, until then, the Republicans are going to move further and further towards The Mental and the Democrats will follow behind them, remaining just on the edge of what’s considered “sanity”. I see a 3rd Party (of any description) it as the only possible anchor that might hold any moderate GOP-ers left from even further drift and/or marginalization.

    Here’s why the crazies won’t get less crazy and won’t be silenced:

    1) The stupid and crazy don’t take losing personally. They will NEVER blame themselves or look within. It’s against their very being. They’d rather blame some alien conspiracy from the planet Lesbos…and with the help of Fox Noise, they’d all believe it.

    2)They’re the GOP Base. They are the loudest and (pun intended) most committed. Cut them out and you gut yourself.

    3) In general, insanity and stupidity is on the rise in America. If you’re the GOP and you want to win, you’ve GOT to get the crazies on your side. They are your ONLY growing demographic

    I just don’t see the remaining moderates doing anything to reign in their nut-bars. Even if they wanted to, I don’t even think they’re capable anymore.

    • Now that is terrifying but rings true: that the low-information-voter / low-effort-thinker demographic is growing! Makes perfect sense given their distaste for contraception which leads them to breed prolifically, and their aversion to education, among other things….It would seem that we are doomed :(

      I sure wish the GOP would just implode and get on with it!

  4. “…mouth breathing, ignorant pig people…”

  5. First post of 2013 is going to knock all the pins over.

  6. Hope all is well, not used to goin’ this long without a rant. Having to make do with the Rude Pundit, but it just ain’t the same. Be well.

    • I’m thinking he’s metamorphosed into a teetotaler who never goes anywhere without a smile on his face and is considering coming back to Canada just to vote for Stevie Harper in the next election. In other words, a complete dung beetle.

  7. Funny there is not one documented case of Republican voter fraud but several Democratic incidences . Black Panthers at voting locations just recently. Do you ever research ?

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