Stupid Jesus Freaks

As part of the Health Care Reform Act, President Obama mandated that women will have access to contraception with no co-pay. This has offended Christians (particularly the Catholics), who consider this as meddling in the fundamental tenets of their faith. Catholics, as is well known and lamented by thinking people everywhere, oppose any form of contraception including condoms in AIDS ravaged Africa. They contend that institutions affiliated with the Catholic church should not be forced to provide contraception through employer based health insurance because they are opposed to it; that forcing them to do so violates their 1st Amendment right to freedom of religion. This is not only bullshit, it’s stupid bullshit.

First, no one is forcing Catholics to use birth control, despite the fact that a vast majority of Catholic women use it anyway. The hypocrisy in preaching for others what Catholics themselves will not practice is appalling but, and of course, what can one expect from Catholics? One does not simply abandon two thousand years of utterly two-faced hypocrisy overnight.

They also argue that they should not be forced by law to pay for it when, as a matter of faith, they oppose the use of contraception. This is another bullshit argument. Health insurance is a job benefit, the same as wages, vacation time and sick days. As such, it belongs to the employee, not the employer. The Catholic church has no right whatsoever to tell their employees where or how to spend their days off. Imagine if they stopped providing health insurance entirely but commensurately increased the wages of their employees to compensate for that lost benefit. Would they then be entitled to say, “You can now purchase your own insurance but you may not buy a policy that covers contraception”?
Of course not…but that is exactly the position they take: “We pay for it, and you cannot make us pay for something we consider immoral!”
No, they don’t pay for it. The employees pay for it, the same damn way they pay for their Social Security and unemployment benefits. These fatuous cretins might as well claim that since the salaries come out of their coffers, they have the right to say how that money shall be spent. It takes a certain sort of delusional mindset that can only be supported by the certain knowledge that one is doing god’s own work to believe such convoluted horseshit.

They argue that the government has no right to inflict their morality on the Catholic faithful by forcing them to offer contraception in health coverage packages. The irony is apparently lost on them that the 1st Amendment stands for the proposition that they have no right to inflict their religious restrictions on people who do not share their deluded convictions.
Much like the druggist who refuses to provide the morning after pill on religious grounds, this is an offensively backward position. No pharmacist has any right whatsoever to deny legally available medicine to any customer. If doing one’s job comes into conflict with one’s faith, go get another job. Inflicting one’s own bible-based notions of morality on rational people seeking necessary health care services ought to result in the loss of the druggist’s license to practice his trade. Consider the Jehovah’s Witness: is he permitted to deny blood transfusions to anyone unfortunate enough to find themselves employed in his Watch Tower bookstore?

The logical contradictions go deeper. Catholics oppose abortion – the more fervent of them so even in cases of rape and incest – and yet they are opposed to preventing pregnancy by any means except abstinence (a strategy that has been demonstrated to be a complete and utter failure).

Permitting faith-based organizations to determine, at their theocratic whim, what form of medical services may be accessed by their employees gives every god-walloping employer the unfettered right to meddle in the most intimate aspects of the lives of people who may not share their beliefs. And yet they whine about the government “inflicting” upon them secular laws. Jesus Humped Up Christ, how does one avoid taking their lord’s name in vain as a starting point?

President Obama, in a move to mitigate the wailing and gnashing of teeth of this twisted gang of theocratic crackpots, altered the plan. Religious institutions will not now be required to provide health insurance that includes contraception, but in such cases the insurance companies will be required to reach out and offer contraceptive coverage directly to the employee at no additional cost.
The insurance companies are only too happy to do this. Preventing pregnancies is far less expensive than paying for an abortion; far, far less expensive than paying for pregnancy and delivery, and orders of magnitude cheaper than having a minor dependent covered under Mommy’s policy.
This, of course, did not mollify the papists, which very much reveals their true intentions and agenda.
It is not enough that they are no longer required to “contravene their faith” by providing the same sort of health care everyone (including Catholics!) commonly receives – they don’t want anyone, anywhere using contraception. Period. It is not enough that Catholics may not have an abortion, they don’t want anyone, anywhere to terminate any pregnancy for any reason. Plainly, they are not about following their faith, they are about inflicting their faith on everyone else, everywhere. The 1st Amendment is a one-way street for those in thrall to Rome.

But the politics of it – the never-ending Republican war on women; their twisted desire to make government small enough to fit in your vagina, while outrageous and certainly related, is a bit off topic. This post is about the Jesus freaks. These deluded assbuckets are not content to privately or quietly kneel before their mythical creator. They will not be content until they can make everyone else kneel, and to that I say, “Get fucked.”
If anyone believes the horrid, crushing ratbag of insane, morally repulsive gibberish that constitutes Catholicism, they are absolutely welcome to it. At the moment, the very instant, they demand that anyone else conduct any element of their life in accordance with that hogwash, they shall find themselves not merely opposed but crushed.
There is a legal maxim that says one’s right to swing one’s arms about ends at the tip of my nose…and so it is with belief and conduct within the secular law: your right to pray ends when you order me to kneel, and your right to eschew birth control goddamn well ends when you tell me I must also abide by the restrictions you set for yourself.

The GOP, for its part, is only too happy to ramp up their fear-based gin mill by calling this an attack on religious faith. President Obama seeks to ensure that all women have access to contraception – the single best way to prevent abortion! – and the Republicans accuse him of undermining the free practice of religion. And it bears repeating that this is an ugly and hateful lie. No one is being forced to USE birth control. They are being prevented from inflicting their faith practices on those who do not wish to participate. And this is a common refrain from the bible thumpers. Tell them they cannot force a high school assembly to participate in Christian prayer and they scream bloody murder: “How dare you tell us we cannot pray?”
Pray all you want. Pray night and fucking day. Pray in public and pray loudly so everyone can witness your great piety. Tebow on your lunch break. No one is stopping you from praying, but we are saying you have no damn right to inflict your grovelling sky wizard entreaties on the rest of us; you have no right to make us listen, much less make us join in. You are free to waste your time. You are not free to waste mine.
For people who are ruled by fear – fear of god, fear of hell…perhaps most honestly fear of being revealed as the horrid hypocrites they truly are…this “attack” on their faith plays powerfully. And so it is trumpeted from the political podium by such notable followers of Christ as serial adulterer Newt Gingrich, anti-abortionist Rick Santorum who approved a late-term abortion for his wife, and uber-hypocrite Mitt Romney who was pro-choice until the time came to kiss the backside of the evangelicals in his craven grasp for the nomination. And so, despite the separation of church and state, the overlap of religion and politics continues to simmer deep in the putrescent heart of America, salted and stoked by a cadre of sick and vicious bastards: Palin, Bachmann, Dobson, Robertson, Warren…people who know what god wants and are well prepared to force everyone else to comply with their visions.

Where an institution that sanctioned and enabled centuries of child rape finds the nerve to argue any fucking thing from a moral position is beyond me, but there it is. The political and social fabric of the most powerful nation on earth is infected with unthinking hordes of Jesus freaks who take their marching orders from aging virgins and pedophiles in dresses; people who are only too happy to make their silly, edited, rewritten, redacted, poorly translated, inerrant word of god fiction the basis for what everyone else may or may not do.

They must be stopped.

33 Responses

  1. A-goddam-fuckin-men.

  2. Tell it!

    As a human, I can’t think of a group of people (catholic bishops and regressive cousin humping republicans) more disqualified to talk about women’s reproductive health.

    And no truer words have been spoken that if altar boys could get pregnant the bishops would have mandated abortion on demand a long time ago. And idiots like Palin should look to their own knocked up teen daughters and shut the fuck up about every other woman vagina, who’s in it and what they do to keep babies from coming out of it.

    Obama punked their dumb asses and now, as you said, everyone knows what the game is.

    Bastards.

  3. What Bob said. Brilliant piece.

  4. This mandate – which Obama brought on himself – Is about forcing Catholic institutions to subsidize an elective consumer product that offends their morals.

    It is not about banning contraception. It is not about decreasing access (you’re simply not cognizant if you think birth control is either expensive or rare these days.). It is about a sitting president declaring he has the authority not only to dictate to religious institutions what they must do, but further, dictate to insurance companies the contract terms by which they can cover that product. It is executive overreach of the kind you detested under Bush, but now find much more acceptable because it’s a target you hate (and really, really hate by your post).

    When you can’t tell the difference between the subsidy of access and access itself, you should probably give up talking about policy at all. With each sentence you expose further ignorance.

    Employers are the ones who pay for the employee’s insurance plan. How do you think you get group rate insurance? It’s the employer who has the contract with the insurance company. They are the ones who should determine the benefits available. If you want to test your notion it’s the employee’s right to a health benefit, walk into your boss’ office tommorrow and demand he change your policy to one with no copays or deductibles on specialist visits. That insurance policy probably exists, but it has a wildly huge premium that your employer is not going to pay.

    Finally, how can you at once declare you value “separation of church and state,” then applaud state interference in churches, mandating they subsidize things against their religious charter? Fuzzy thinking abounds in your post (it’s probably the hate. Lay off of it.)

    At least your blog is accurately named: Truth does conquer nothing. It clearly hasn’t conquered you. If you’re a representative of “thinking people,” society is doomed to a bunch of useful idiots – and a tyrant suitable for being their master.

    • Speaking of fuzzy thinking…
      Interfere with religion? Horseshit! There are secular laws that ALL employers, regardless of religion MUST follow. Rastafaraians are not allowed to grow pot, and (as I noted) JW’s are not permitted to force their employees to refuse blood transfusions. The bible plainly advocates slavery – would you support some church keeping slaves as a matter of faith?
      If YOU don’t want to have or use contraception as a matter of faith, fill your boots. However, as an employer one is obligated to provide health insurance to employees (just as you are obligated to pay them a minimum wage). It is well within the purview of government to determine what minimum level of coverage must be offered.
      No sky wizard fantasy can be permitted to arbitrarily create a varied patchwork of access to basic services.

      It is NOT about “Forcing CATHOLICS” to do any fucking thing, you brainless, obtuse doofus. It’s about ensuring EVERYONE has access to basic, minimal, necessary health care, of which contraception is a core element. Catholics object (as they always do) because they are not being permitted to inflict their theistic bullshit on everyone else.

      “No, no…we are ALLOWED to stone people to death for getting a tattoo or eating shellfish…it’s our religion!”

      Haul your head out of your ass.
      Yeah..employers “pay for” the policy – they also “pay for” the salaries: does that entitle them to mandate how the money shall be spent? It amazes me the twists, turns and contortions engaged by those who feel some sick desire to support god walloper’s need to force others to conform to their faux piety.

      As for dictating to insurance companies, legislating an end to “Previous existing conditions” as a dodge for denying someone the coverage they pay for (among other rules and regulations that apply to insurance companies) is most assuredly a step in the right, and civilized, direction. No other first world country deals with these sorts of problems because they’ve all figured out that HEALTH CARE, from cradle to grave, is something that government OUGHT to provide. Only in America is the profit motive permitted to put sick people in the poor house rather than the hospital, and only in America does anyone even consider that what YOUR god demands should permit YOU to control what health services OTHERS can access.

      You’re just another “Down with regulations” Republican shill operating under the cover of Freedom of Religion. I bet you’re opposed to Sharia law, but still able to distinguish your support for the Christian theocracy you want.
      Asshat.

      • “It’s about ensuring EVERYONE has access to basic, minimal, necessary health care”

        I didn’t realize that without employer’s paying 100% of the cost of contraception, it would be inaccessible.

        • About as inaccessible as happy pills, cholesterol pills, eye care, dental checkups or any one of dozens of basic health care services such insurance plans cover.

          100%? Wow your employer must be a hell of lot more generous than mine! My insurance plan is paid for by deductions from my pay.

        • You are a perfect example of how far up their dark, unwashed ass the right has jammed its empty head.
          Employers DON’T pay 100% of the cost of ANYTHING – they pay the PREMIUMS. The insurance companies pay for the birth control (and any other medically necessary treatments prescribed by DOCTORS). The insurance companies are VERY HAPPY to do this because then they avoid paying for pregnancy and delivery (very expensive) and having a dependent covered under Mommy’s policy for the next 26 years (VERY expensive).
          Of course, blithering fucktards like YOU are never going to let little things like facts get in the way of your dishonest, yammering bullshit designed to assist the religious fundies in oppressing everyone and especially those who don’t share their delusional sky wizard bullshit fantasies.
          Stupid asshat.

        • Not to mention the fact that employers with more than two brain cells to rub together are thrilled at the prospect of not losing employees to unplanned pregnancy and having to replace them. Maternity Leave is a real pain in the ass.

      • Love it and spot on….
        Led here from Cesca and Chez….

    • Adding…
      They are NOT being forced to subsidize a goddamn thing. Let’s alter the terms of the contract ever so slightly…
      Instead of paying for employee’s health coverage, the Catholic institutions stop providing insurance entirely and simply give the employees a raise in pay sufficient that they can purchase their own policies.
      If those employees buy policies that cover birth control, do you still consider that to be subsidizing contraception?
      What if they use the money to eat meat on Friday? Get tattoos?
      The blithering stupidity inherent in your perspective is appalling.

    • And yet further…!
      The employers do not pay for the treatment, they simply pay the PREMIUMS.
      Are you suggesting that on that basis, they should be permitted to determine what course of treatments ought to be available to a sick employee? That simply on the basis of paying some or all of the PREMIUMS, that their will should supersede that of the medical professionals who actually provide the treatment, or the insurers who PAY FOR IT?

      You fucking Republicans have your heads jammed so fucking far up your imbecilic asses, it makes even bothering to respond to you less pleasant than simply jamming a sharp fucking stick in your eye.

    • This mandate…Is about forcing Catholic institutions to subsidize an elective consumer product that offends their morals

      Elective consumer product??? Yeah, I think I’ll just run down to the Big Box Mart today and get me some fucking tiger-striped condoms with a GPS navigational system. Maybe I’ll even Bedazzle them!

      You don’t use birth control to keep up with the Jones family. You don’t take the pill because it makes you stylish. You don’t fill condoms with spray cheese and use them as home insulation. You don’t play Frisbee with diaphragms. You don’t use an IUD as a bookmark.

      Birth control is not an iBox or an xPad. It does not make you shirts whiter. It does not make your car rustproof. It does not give you better TV reception. You cannot use it to surf the Web to find out who won the first Academy Award for make-up. You use it to prevent pregnancy and/or transmission of disease. That’s it.

      It is a basic health care item and should be treated as such. The only “elective” part about it is that you can freely choose to use this health care option or not and run the risk of pregnancy or disease. Many idiots go without and an endless stream of idiots suffer the considerably more expensive and harmful side effects of their idiocy, most of which society winds up paying the tab for in one way or another. And those costs are much greater than the package of condoms that could have prevented them.

      If Catholics have a problem “subsidizing” things they are morally opposed to, they better pick up a copy of the 10 Commandments read “#1 Thou shall not kill.” and stop paying their taxes because a big chunk of it goes to subsidize the manufacture of weapons and the making of war.

      Until then, they need to shut the fuck up about being “forced by the government to subsidize something that goes against their morals.”

      Employers are the ones who pay for the employee’s insurance plan. How do you think you get group rate insurance? It’s the employer who has the contract with the insurance company. They are the ones who should determine the benefits available.

      First, that all depends on your workplace. Some employers pay all the cost. Some employees pay all the cost through deductions. Many are 50-50. At one time, a union at my place of work organized it’s own employee plan. It’s a mixed bag depending on where you live and where you work.

      Employers may sign the contract, but they don’t do this in a vacuum. They are not the primary users of the insurance (if they even use it at all) and the policy is NOT there to please them. It’s there to please the employees. Employers offer insurance as a way to attract employees to work for their company, entice them to stay and maintain their health, so they can do their job.

      Group Insurance exists for the benefit of -get this- the group. The number of employees covered is what gets the discount, NOT the number of owners. The employer’s only role is to select the policy that provides the best health insurance for a price the company (and/or) employees can afford. The employer’s job is wise money management, NOT imposing their morality on their employees. Value, NOT values.

      Employee health Insurance is about the employees, not the owner. Denying them a simple, basic and cost-effective item that prevents much costlier problems is wrong….and is just plain bad business too.

  5. Exactly. They can have their freedom of religion; I’ll have my freedom from religion.

  6. Spot on!!
    There are a whole lot of silent Christians out there who disagree with this extremism within their ranks.
    They need to speak up, now, loud & clear!

  7. don’t you think that we should talk about taxing these churches for being political? I bet they would shut up the minute you discuss taxing them. what is more important money or politics? ask a bishop.

    • I think that’s a fine idea, although at this stage of dealing with the matter I would hesitate to add any weight to their bullshit “Attack on religion” argument.
      They’re in the process of hanging themselves; exposing their real agenda. I say stomp their guts out over contraception then, when they’re moaning and crying and pleading just to be left alone we say, “Sure…we’ll let you be…as soon as you settle this property tax bill.”

  8. Excellent, Avi. Really excellent. One of the best things you’ve written.

    As for this:

    You fucking Republicans have your heads jammed so fucking far up your imbecilic asses, it makes even bothering to respond to you less pleasant than simply jamming a sharp fucking stick in your eye.

    All I can add is: Yep.

  9. There’s no “C” in supersede. Excellent response. You might have added that churches, even the fabulously wealthy Catholic cathedrals, pay no taxes in the United States — an obvious bit of unconstitutional pandering to the religious.

  10. I’ve come to see this for what it is:

    1) A great way for the Catholic leadership to divert attention from their chronic boy raping problem and allow them to play the “victim” for a change. This “controversy” will encourage lapsing Catholics to circle the wagons against an evil “attack”. It’s great PR and pure gold for the collection plate.

    2) It’s a fight they can win. They can’t win a battle on abortion, homosexuality, womens’ rights, etc. Just about everyone’s opinion on those are cast in stone. If they attack Obama on that, they get nowhere. If anything, they look like they’re sticking their nose into government’s business and it backfires.

    But in this case, they can make it look like government is sticking their nose into religious business. They can finally have an argument for why people shouldn’t vote for Democrats, one that could actually change some minds.

    It’s all bullshit, but it’s possibly the best thing to happen to the American Catholic church in decades.

  11. “They must be stopped.”

    Oh, for a unified left and center that would do this essential thing.

  12. Official Catholic doctrine also says that if you get divorced and remarried, you are an adulterer. Does that mean that the Church can also dictate to those employees that they cannot get spousal coverage?

  13. As someone who has tangled with you on other sites- I was a frequent troll of Cesca’s brainless and sycophantic little hobby, which is really an affliction on my part and my own desire to “bark” (cheaper therapy than a shrink, that’s for sure). Nonetheless your genius takedown of the Catholic church fills me with joy. Every word is pure brilliance. Bravo. One last thing. I visited Rome, about ten years ago, and spent the day touring Vatican City. During the entire time, I was filled with a constant, irritating, and almost audible buzzing discordance: basically i see-sawed between awe and revulsion. The massive spectacle of architectural, sculptural and artistic opulence, purchased with the blood of many more innocents than “sinners”, solely to elevate and aggrandize their sky wizard, is to this day one if the strangest days of my life. I loathe their pious self-inflicted igorance and hypocrisy of all that is decent and rational and empirical. Fuck the church. Let them choke on each others shriveled, grizzled, and infirmed little dicks. Afterall, it’s what god would want.

  14. [...] their interpretation of the 1st Amendment is backwards and their logic incredibly faulty, read this incredibly cogent and spot on blog post. WARNING: It contains cussing and if you’re particularly religious, it will probably offend [...]

  15. You know, this is pretty audacious for people who, in the Middle Ages, used to sell “fire insurance” (i.e., indulgences).

  16. I applaud you, Avi. And seriously, fuck those guys.

  17. Yes!

    As for idiots like bkennedy86, they clearly have not thought about the fact that we are always subsidizing the activities of others in one way or another.

    I, for one, resent that I pay my employer for insurance that subsidizes fertility treatments so that people can have a litter of 8 babies and that I help to pay for the medical care of people who abuse their bodies by stuffing them full of meat and grease and sugar.

    But, this is the price we pay to live in a community. You’d think that jesusfreaks would take a more generous attitude, given that they are always yacking about charity and goodwill to others.

    Furthermore, if churches want to act like businesses, then they should expect to be treated like businesses.

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