Suck My Dick Cheney – Sloppy Seconds

Follow-up to Suck My Dick Cheney

More excerpts from the speech delivered by Dick Cheney on May 21, 2009:

It is a fact that only detainees of the highest intelligence value were ever subjected to enhanced interrogation. You’ve heard endlessly about waterboarding. It happened to three terrorists. One of them was Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the mastermind of 9/11, who has also boasted about his beheading of Daniel Pearl.

Waterboarding is not the only form of torture. There are others, of varying degrees of repulsiveness, and Dick does not address the numerous renditions to foreign countries where more people than we shall ever identify were certainly tortured and possibly killed.
Nor does Dick mention those “enemy combatants” held aboard the CIA’s floating prison.
Nor does Dick mention those detainees who (even presuming they were not “tortured”) found the conditions of their indefinite detention, lack of habeous corpus, no contact with the outside world and no contact with their families to be so intolerable they hung themselves. Of course, the Bush/Cheney administration classified their actions as an asymmetrical attack on America. Not suicide bombers, mind you…suicide suiciders.
Apparently they weren’t getting good enough intel at Gitmo to prevent an attack IN GITMO.
All Dick wants to talk about are the three “high value” terrorists for whom we have documented evidence and, coincidentally, from whom Dick claims they obtained good intel. Dick, being Dick, doesn’t mention that the Intelligence Officers who interrogated KSM say that he coughed up all the info he had as a result of non-torture methods, and KSM himself says that he invented stories to make the torture stop.
At some point, folks, we really have to stop counting anything Dick Cheney says as evidence for any proposition beyond that he said it.
At some point, Dick Cheney speaking ought to become persuasive evidence for two things: 1. There are other things Dick is not telling us, and 2. There is a strong likelihood that the opposite of what Dick Cheney says is, in fact, the case.

And when you hear that there are no more “enemy combatants,” as there were back in the days of that scary war on terror, at first that sounds like progress. The only problem is that the phrase is gone, but the same assortment of killers and would-be mass murderers are still there. And finding some less judgmental or more pleasant-sounding name for terrorists doesn’t change what they are or what they would do if we let them loose.

The phrase is gone, you fear-mongering old bastard, because the idea that there is a class of people you may hold indefinitely, in isolation, without ever advising them of the charges or evidence against them OR ever permitting them to challenge the reasons for their detention is FUCKING WRONG, even if you don’t torture them.
It’s not a semantic change without a basis in reality. You and your cohorts invented that label to justify the denial of fundamental legal rights, and ignored decisions in Federal Court and the USSC that said you could not do so.
There could be no more bold, snide, arrogant and disgusting way to destroy the very principles you swore an oath to protect and defend than to flippantly crush them under the jackboot of vapid semantics.
Let me give you an example of a semantic change without basis in reality, you filthy fuck: When you call waterboarding “torture” and prosecute those who did it to Americans as war criminals, then call waterboarding “enhanced interrogation” and do it to prisoners of war held offshore in order to deny them legal recourse, that is a change in terminology that shares no quarter with truth.

On his second day in office, President Obama announced he was closing the detention facility at Guantanamo. This step came with little deliberation and no plan. Now the president says some of these terrorists should be brought to American soil for trial in our court system; others, he says, will be shipped to third countries. But so far, the United States has had little luck getting other countries to take hardened terrorists.
So what happens then? Attorney General Holder and others have admitted that the United States will be compelled to accept terrorists here in the homeland, and it has even been suggested U.S. taxpayer dollars would be used to support them.

Last first: Whose fucking dollars are supporting them now, you lying sack of festering pus?
Here Dick seems to suggest that bringing them to America will (OH NOES!) cost money. We’ll have to give them a house, and an allowance…they’ll wind up on the welfare rolls!
Would not the money spent maintaining Gitmo more than cover the cost of holding them all in a SuperMax prison already constructed and operating in the US?
Normalize relations with Cuba, close Gitmo, take some small fraction of the ridiculous amount of cash you’re wasting down there and hire a few more prison guards! Trust me, the isolation cells at Pelican Bay are up to the task. It will also free up a bunch of Marines – word is you could use all you can get.
Obama’s plan was always to close Gitmo. There is a laundry list of perfectly good reasons to do so….not least of which is that being pals with Raoul will be far more effective than some stupid embargo, especially when they all have a cousin in Miami.
Suggesting that the prisoners in Guantanamo are going to be turned loose in Times Square with some spending money is the ugliest, most juvenile, ridiculous, disingenuous bit of fuckwittery I’ve ever heard. It’s a new low I would never have expected from Cheney (he’s evil, not stupid) – this is more of a Michelle Bachmann bit of dishonesty and insult.
To suggest that NOW Obama wants to bring them to America for trial implies that there was some other idea (or none at all) about what would happen with the detainees. Despite the gamy construction of Dick’s Junior League Debate Team presentation, one hopes some journalist with something more on the ball than Blitzer rips his lying head off for this. This isn’t a speech, it’s a plea…a castigation of those who would rebuke him.
Cheney is wrapping up all of the full legal defenses available to him in one very public confession. He cannot say he was not there. We have witnesses. But he touches the following:
1. I didn’t do it.
2. It was the right thing to do.
3. It was wrong, but I held the honest but mistaken belief that it was right.
4. It was wrong and I knew it was wrong, but there were exigent circumstances.
5. Fuck you. They’re evil. I’d do it again. (Jury nullification)

This entire speech is a host defenses in want of a trial.
What seems most telling to me is that Cheney has not been arrested or charged. If he and his gang of shit-for-brains Republicans would shut the fuck up, the thing might have well faded into the “forward looking” rear view mirror.
But the sonuvabitch will not stop telling us how correct it was for him to do everything he did. How he did nothing wrong.
It’s like when you walk in the door and your kid says, “I didn’t do it.”

This recruitment-tool theory has become something of a mantra lately, including from the president himself. And after a familiar fashion, it excuses the violent and blames America for the evil that others do. It’s another version of that same old refrain from the left, “We brought it on ourselves.

Jesus H Fucking Jumped Up Christ On Skis.
These brainless fuckers just cannot see anything except in black and white.
You’re with us or against us.
You either blame Them or you blame Us.
If you aren’t willing to torture, you are helping the next attack.
Those 14% who, according to Dick, returned to jihad after release…one wonders if the fact that they were tortured motivates them. Not Dick. Dick is certain that torture is the reason the other 86% didn’t join them.

As a practical matter, terrorists may lack much, but they’ve never lacked for grievances against the United States. Our belief in freedom of speech and religion, our belief in equal rights for women, our support for Israel, our cultural and political influence in the world, these are the true sources of resentment, all mixed in with the lies and conspiracy theories of radical clerics.

“They hate us for our freedoms”.
That ought to be inscribed on Dick Cheney’s tombstone…and the sooner the better.
I shall not bother to list the egregious and disgusting record of the United States in its dealings with Arab and Persian countries, not least of which is a fair critique of its unwavering support for Israel and the consequences of that support for all who surround it. I will, however, say one thing: Mossadeq.
And for all Dick’s jizz blithering bullshit about respect for women’s rights, perhaps he might respond to George Bush’s sycophantic cocksucking of a Saudi royal family who won’t let women drive a goddamn car or hold a fucking bank account.

If fine speech-making, appeals to reason, or pleas for compassion had the power to move them, the terrorists would long ago have abandoned the field. And when they see the American government caught up in arguments about interrogations or whether foreign terrorists have constitutional rights, they don’t stand back in awe of our legal system and wonder whether they had misjudged us all along.
Instead, the terrorists see just what they were hoping for: our unity gone, our resolve shaken, our leaders distracted. In short, they see weakness and opportunity.

If reason or compassion had anything to do with anything, Dick, America would never have invaded Iraq.
If American foreign policy over the past eight years had anything to do with anything other than unrestrained hegemonic neocon manifest destiny, we would not be in this mess that forces you to lie like a junkie.
It is not this reassessment of tactics and principles that provokes terrorists. What motivated terrorists, you myopic stain, was your active confirmation that America really is a facade – a greedy, resource sucking, intemperate, unreasonable shit that will, at the drop of a hat and whenever it’s convenient, abandon the very principles upon which it was founded in pursuit of power and profit.
“Call me the Great Satan, will you? I’ll SHOW you Satan!”

Releasing the interrogation memos was flatly contrary to the national security interests of the United States. The harm done only begins with top-secret information now in the hands of terrorists who have just received a lengthy insert for their training manual.

Training manuals. Oh no! Now they can train to withstand being waterboarded 183 times.
Dick…they believe they are going to Paradise where await 72 virgins.
They are willing to die, Dick. They are willing to blow themselves up.
And you think not knowing about waterboarding is the secret weapon that will defeat the enemy?
Newsflash, Dick: Waterboarding has been around a long time. Folks know about it. Word was out before the documents were released.
Imagine if Dick Cheney were back in control. Now, any detainee who does not provide good intel under torture has been trained to resist! We need more, harsher techniques in order to get that fucker to talk!
Jesus, Dick…if only you could kill them all, eh?
Torture them til they admit they’re a witch and then burn them.

Across the world, governments that have helped us capture terrorists will fear that sensitive joint operations will be compromised next. And at the CIA, our people are left to wonder if they can depend on the White House or Congress to back them up when the going gets tough.

Translation: The people who helped us in our criminal enterprise, and those who carried out the crimes, will be hesitant to violate international law to help us in the future if we don’t protect them this time. After all, we asked them to violate every relevant legal, moral and ethical rule we could find…

It’s worth recalling that ultimate power of declassification belongs to the president himself. President Obama has used his declassification authority to reveal what happens in the interrogation of terrorists. Now let him use that same power to show Americans what did not happen, thanks to the good work of our intelligence officials.

The infinite things list of things that did not happen.
Just as a thought experiment: You are being tortured. In order to make the torture stop, you invent some story out of thin air about a non-existent plot – maybe you even name some Pakistani engineering student you met once to lend your story come credibility (else they resume torturing you). The Pakistani engineering student is arrested. Plot foiled. A thing that DID NOT HAPPEN.
There is already persuasive evidence that Dick employed torture to force false confessions of a link between Iraq and 9/11. How simple a thing to produce documents attesting to all the things that DID NOT HAPPEN?
That such self-serving, illogical, unprovable assertions might be left unchallenged, unsupported and unexamined may well turn out to be a greater shame to America than the actions of Dick and friends could ever be.

ll

5 Responses

  1. If Dick Cheney ever gave a rats ass about this country he wouldn’t have seeked and gotten 5 military deferments.

  2. Seeked?

    I’ll fix that if you want.

  3. Once overheard someone ask their friend how much something “costed”.

    I said, “If I knew it costed that must, I wouldna have boughten it.”

  4. “and Dick does not address the numerous renditions to foreign countries where more people than we shall ever identify were certainly tortured and possibly killed.” -cousinavi

    I know of 4 separate cases where completely innocent and uninvolved Canadians citizens were tortured for about a year on average in “3rd party” dungeons. One of them was lucky enough to be transfered and tortured in a second nation. Yeah 2 countries tortured this guy! Syria and Egypt, if I recall.

    In all cases, the American and/or Canadian government (overly enjoying its role as America’s prison bitch) had their fingerprints all over it.

    With regards to Dark Lord Cheney, his 5 Chicken-hawk deferments prevented him from getting the chance to experience the joy of waterboarding first hand in Vietnam. That’s back when we considered it inhuman torture that proved what an evil bunch of motherfuckers the Viet Cong were and why we should eradicate them from the face of the planet.

    I guess things change. Not only is waterboarding “not torture” anymore, we are wooing the very same Vietnamese communists we once went to war with.

    It’s clear to me that, not only will America never punish Dick Cheney for any of his myriad of crimes, he will continue to be given a microphone by the media and that they will never challenge him.

    Outside of an International effort, such as the International War Crimes Tribunal he coincidentally opposes, it is clear that there is only one way to deal with him. He needs to be abducted and tortured until he confesses every wrongdoing he has committed since birth and then tortured some more just for the fun of it. I will chip in to pay the legal bill of anyone who abducts, tortures and executes Dick Cheney for his Crimes Against Humanity.

    Seriously. Somebody needs to go for it.

  5. All I’m going to say right now is, you got yourself press-ganged for COTEB with those two posts you sent me, buster.

    Excellent work.

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