CNN Idiots Driving Me NUTS!

The level of journalistic incompetence on CNN is un-fucking-believable.  I’m in Taiwan, so I get CNN Asia out of Hong Kong.  Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer make occasional appearances – the Situation Room and AC360 – but mostly I’m forced to suffer Jim Clancy, Colleen McEdwards, Anjali Rao and the rest of the second tier fuckwits that yammer from behind the teleprompter.

Just now, Jim “Inflection” Clancy asked a correspondant covering the Russia-Georgia conflict, “What are the people – the ones who have been forced from their homes – saying about this conflict?”
Good question Jim.  I’m sure the refugees are taking a broad geo-political view of the issue and can provide you with the insight we all require.  Dickhead.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the old alkie fuckwit would learn how to stop PUN-CHING every third word in a DE-LIV-ER-Y reminiscent of a Maxwell House COF-FEE pitch man.  His cadence makes me want to choke him.  He draaaags his way over words, extending them in time and syllable count like an intoxicated stroke victim…makes me want to smack him and scream FINISH THE FUCKING SENTENCE!  
I cannot decide whether Clancy’s lame, glazed idiocy is more or less annoying than Wolf Blitzer’s gasping, asthmatic, monotone run-on wheezing.  At least Blitzer can go off script without stumbling into almost complete incoherence.  Clancy without a teleprompter is a pathetic thing…stumbling and bumbling nonsensically to the first commercial break.  One can almost see the panic in the control booth as they desperately hunt up some promo cart to get the stuttering fuck off camera.
Colleen McEdwards.  Christ.  Head bobbing, chair jumping, nodding fuckwittery of unprecedented intensity.  Someone needs to tell this idiot to SIT STILL – stop accentuating the delivery with spastic jerking about.
Anjali Rao.  Close your mouth.  Stop grinning and talking at the same time, and learn how to fucking blink those gigantic doe eyes in normal time.  The fucking slow motion blink makes me want to slice off her goddamn eyelids.
But perhaps the worst of it is when these idiotic, ignorant, stuttering fucktards go off script and try to be cute and humourous – trading clever little bon mots back and forth with what passes, in their Super Junior Journalist Club, for wit.  Without exception, their comments reveal them as dumber than stumps and about as useful.
“Good stuff!”
“Thanks for that, indeed.”
Kristy Lee Stout seems reasonably competent, relative to the morons with whom she’s forced to work.  Sadly, she sounds like Bart Simpson.  I swear!  Close your eyes, you can hear her say, “Cowabunga, Dude!”
It gets no better when World Sport comes on.  They’ve got some shouting imbecile named Justin that can’t get through a story without climbing up the intensity scale until he sounds like a track announcer calling the final stretch with four horses neck and neck.  It gets really ugly if the topic is tennis and he gets to mention Rafael Nadal.  The motherfucker cannot simply say Nadal – he HAS to call him “Rafa” AND roll the R: 
Rrrr-rrrr-rrrRAFA! 
It’s so bad that I’m now convinced he’s a flaming gay who has a serious crush on the young Spaniard.

The promos…oh jesus the promos! 
“You’ve seen men of God, and men who kill in God’s name”
“…Nature’s retribution, now the eco-solution”
“CNN – Essential for business” 
For fuck sakes, you twits!  If you’ll lie to me about that, you’ll lie to me about anything! 
“See the trends, then make your move…?”  Any CEO who’s getting vital information from you self-aggrandizing, blithering fools is so far behind the curve the board ought to can his ass.

It’s like Miss Betty and the gang at Romper Room have taken over the studio and decided that it’s just not possible to be too pretentious or over the top.
I mean, really…when meth addict, dildo boot, cock string Richard Quest ISN’T the worst thing on the schedule, you’ve clearly got some problems.

What ever happened to Bernard King?

Stuttering Fuckwit Jim Clancy

Stuttering Fuckwit Jim Clancy

19 Responses

  1. Hahahahhaha. You are so right! Jim Clancy is the stuff of nighmares. Thanks for making me laugh!

  2. Check this out…

    CNN, John McCain’s camp at odds following confrontational Campbell Brown interview

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/09/campbell-brown.html?cid=129044476#comments

    Quote:

    Cambell Brown-CNN…Shsss baby!…Palin’s daughter pregnancy is none of your business…BABY!!!

    Cambell Brown of CNN is a disgrace to serious journalism.

    “Jon Klein, president of CNN, has issued a statement in support of Brown’s interview. “Campbell Brown did what journalists do,” Klein said Tuesday evening. “She asked fair and important questions in a respectful way and was simply trying to get a straight answer to a straightforward question.” Jon Klein, President CNN.

    To Jon Klein-Clown – President of CNN:

    I am not surprised with your idiotic statement. You have the audacity to call Cambell Brown’s utterly rude behavior, “respectfull”???!!! Either you think that we are stupid or you must be smoking something funny, or for that matter you yourself do not know the difference between “polite” and “rude” and the difference between “calm and collected” and “neurotic-phychotic” behavior.

    Yes, Cambell Brown is a neurotic and rude anchor lady – this is not the first time she has been rude to her guests. Perhaps Mr. Klein=clown you were better off having done your own homework in “VETTING” Ms. Cambell Brown. She is a disgrace to serious journalism together with Mr. Hafferty!

    With the exception of a few anchors and correspondents, whom I have always respected (and who keep you still in business) such as Wolf Blitzer, John King, Christian Amanpour, Candy Crawly, etc. the rest of your “pretty faces” are “knucle heads” who – I repeat – are a disgrace to serious journalism.

    I prefer to remember the good old CNN that you have destroyed, Sir.

    No wonder why – for example – BBC World News and BBC America are increasingly more and more in demand by American households. The fact that most satellite services and cable operators offer BBC World News instead of CNN International which is offered to only 6 million households in the US – a country the population of which is 300 million – should tell you something Sir – that more viewers prefer BBC over CNN!!

    I am very glad that the McCain campaign pulled the McCain interview from the Larry King Show at CNN. I am also very happy that the McCain campaign has informed the CNN circus network that they will no longer answer any questions by your staff concerning Governor Palin’s private family life or any questions by you regarding her vetting, which in the final analysis is none of your business.

    Senator McCain and Governor Palin are doing the right thing to ignore you CNN! They are not going to allow you to treat Governor Palin the same way you treated Senator Hillary Clinton during her campaign. Alleluia, it is about time somebody has the guts to tell you off CNN – Long Live McCain!

    In the mean-time, I suggest that you put Ms. Cambell Brown on some tranquilizers or better yet – FIRE HER!!

    Shame on Cambell Brown and Jon Klein’s=Clown CNN! Leadership starts at the top! And, your top advertisers are taking notice CNN – trust me!

    Posted by Natasha

  3. They are NOT going to “vett” their “Chosen One – God’s Gift to America”….

    Quote: Jake Lewis wrote: “I don’t recall Mrs. Brown (CNN) asking the same tough questions regarding Obama’s lack of foreign policy experience, his drug use, his ties to domestic terrorists, to explain how he purchased a $1.5 million home (yea…middle class) on a state legislature’s salary, his refusal to vote ya or na while serving in the state legislature, or why in his 3 1/2 years as a senator he has not sponsored one important piece of legislation? Oh! I understand now…he speaks well.”

    Posted by: Jake Lewis | September 04, 2008 at 01:43 PM

    BINGO!!

    Dear Jake Lewis, you hit the nail on the head! But Ms. Campbel Brown and Jon Clown – as in Jon Klein – President of CNN – have been listening apparently to Nancy Pelossi…..they are NOT going to question their “Chosen One” – “God’s Gift to America”, as Nancy Pelossi refers to Obama!

    Can you imagine if Senator McCain had said that Sarah Palin was “God’s gift to America”? They would be reminding him about the separation of Church and State!…

    Source:

    http://www.usnews.com/articles/news/2008/08/29/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-sarah-palin.html

  4. WHO is Campbell Brown – the witch of CNN – the 24 hour “News for Dummies” network!!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campbell_Brown

    http://www.hillaryclintonforum.net/discussion/showthread.php?t=27154

    Quote: “In 1999, her father James H. “Jim” Brown Jr. was indicted for lying to the FBI during a routine investigation and served time in a Federal prison and resigned his post, he is an expert on Louisiana politics. [6]

    On April 2, 2006, Brown married her second husband Daniel Samuel Senor (born 1971), a Republican consultant who regularly appears on Fox News.[7][8] Brown converted to Judaism, her husband’s faith;[9] the two were married in an Orthodox Jewish ceremony.[10]

    On June 24, 2007, Brown announced on Weekend Today that she and her husband were expecting their first child.[11] On December 18, Brown gave birth to a son, Eli James Senor, named after his grandfather, James Senor.

    Her first marriage was to Peregrine “Pere” Roberts, President of TSC Realty in Bethesda, MD. ”

    To Cambell Brown I say:

    What goes around comes around, BABY !!!

    I am Natasha of NY and approve this message

    http://www.hillaryclintonforum.net/discussion/showthread.php?t=27154

  5. You may be interested in this….

    CNN, John McCain’s camp at odds following confrontational Campbell Brown interview

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/09/campbell-brown.html?cid=129044476#comments

  6. Natasha:
    Barack Obama was “chosen” by over 18 MILLION voters.
    If you’ll check with the Constitution of the United States, there’s nothing in there about being annoited by media (as you apparently consider Obama to have been).
    One wonders why your outrage is not directed at the media for failing to report on the outright lies being foisted on the elecorate by Senator Gimpy McMumblefuck.
    You seem willing to trash people for who their parents were or who they married, but no mention of McBush’s serial adultery, tie to Charlie Keating, or that he has never succeeded at anything in his life that was the result of marrying money or merely not dying.
    If you’re going to post on my blog, haul your vapid, shallow head out of your ass.
    Brown’s dismantling of the sycophantic Tucker Bounds was well within the bounds of responsible journalism – something the McCain camp has not had to deal with…ever…and given the intellectual vaccuum of their candidates, not something they are ABLE to deal with. They would rather restrict access to GOP ass-kissers like Charlie Gibson and Sean Hannity, who are not journalists so much as bag-licking assboys for Republican fascism. “You ask us tough questions that make us look stoopid…we won’t talk to you anymore!”
    How fucking pathetic. Not quite, however, as pathetic as the racist tripe you’ve posted.

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  8. hahaha

  9. Did you mean Bernard Shaw?

  10. Fuckin’ eh. I did, too.

    Who the fuck is Bernard King? Did I brain fart Larry into Bernie?
    Old black Jew in suspenders.

    James Earl Lipshitz: CNN, this is.

  11. The “normal” CNN is already bad enough…

  12. HOW NICE OF cousinavi TO GIVE SO MUCH DETAILS ABOUT THE CNN ANCHORS,I THOUGHT HE SAID HE NEVER LIKED IT ALL?HE MUST LOVE IT,AFTERALL,THE AMOUNT OF DETAIL HE GIVES ABOUT IT ALL,MUST MEAN HE HAS WATCHED IT ALL FOR HOURS ON END,AND QUITE FRANKLY,I AM DISGUSTED WITH THIS PERSON FOR POSTIN SLURS WITH A CHEAP SHOT AT STROKE VICTIMS,LETS ALL HOPE THAT cousinavi AND MANY OF HIS FAMILY ARE CURSED WITH ALL HAVING STROKES THEMSELVES,AND SEE WHAT THEY THINK THEN,WHEN OTHER PEOPLE TAKE CHEAP SHOTS AT THEM!THE SIMPLE ANSWER cousinavi IS THIS……..cousinavi IS THE DICKHEAD,PLEASE SOMEONE,TRY AND EXPLAIN WHAT AN ON OFF BUTTON IS ON A TV?AND LETS ALL PRAY cousinavi AND ALL HIS FAMILY ARE BLESSED WITH A MASSIVE STROKE EACH,AS SOON AS POSSIBLE,THAT WAY,WE WONT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HIS DICKHEAD RAVING,WHICH HE HIMSELF DOES LIKE AN INTOXICATED STROKE VICTIM!MAY THE STINGS OF A MILLION WASPS LET cousinavi DIE IN AGONY,VERY SLOWLY!!!!!!!!!!

    • LOL. Nice one Happy Joe! The stings of a million wasps. Hehehe.
      Just wondering if you’re sticking up for CNN anchors or stroke victims here. Please write again – I dig your style.

  13. so don’t watch it then, you foul mouthed twit! Betcha
    couldn’t do any better!!!!

  14. You are so, so right!
    I just haven’t got the patience with idiotic journalist like that!
    They make me sick! Also, what gave them the right to try to influence us —–with their opinions? Their reporting, as far as I am concern, it is often too subjective and even prejudiced!

  15. I used to watch CNN religiously. I am now an atheist. In the words of Ted Turner “It’s completely unwatchable now.”

    The day they put that fucking scrolling news ticker on the screen was the last straw.

    “The stuff we show is so shitty and devoid of anything useful or interesting, we feel the need to put some fucking useless gibberish on the screen to keep you occupied until we can produce something remotely worth watching.”

    If only. From what I can tell, it’s complete fucking amateur hour there now. What’s really concerning is that they’re still probably a lot better than the competition! It’s a total race to the fucking bottom. Hour after hour of endless blather about one or two stories, as if absolutely nothing happens in the entire fucking world!

    While The Daily Show somehow sent a correspondent to Iran and interviewed some reasonably important figures, these worthless News channel motherfuckers are reading TWITTER MESSAGES on air as if they are remotely meaningful to anyone with two or more brain cells!

    They have virtually no idea what news is anymore. Theme songs, packaging, over-hyped celeb-hosts, news-tickers, camera in camera shots of empty podiums, barking pundits, fucking useless waste of time sensational stories and celebs…

    Oh fuck, I think I just had a stroke of my own!

  16. Yes but Richard dummy Quest and Miles clueless O’Brien are for sure at the top of the most uninformed people reporting news about this missing plane. Somebody tell me why they are getting opinions from these people. Miles O’Brien looks like his mommy dressed him for school every day.

    • “We have breaking news! This just in…As reported in hour 3,897 of our missing plane coverage, we still have absolutely no fucking clue what happened to that jet. Coming up after the break, we read Tweets from the Twit Zone to help fill the next 3,897 hours of our missing plane coverage, so that we don’t have to cover something meaningful or complicated.”

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